I want to get an hiv test : I have been with my bf for... - BASHH


20,032 members2,958 posts

I want to get an hiv test

X0mariax0 profile image
13 Replies

I have been with my bf for a year and a half . Sometimes we would have unsafe sex but I haven't gotten pregnant . Now we use protection which is better for me . As I don't want to get pregnant not ever . But lately we have used protection . But because he's been with lots of women and not used anything with them I want to get tested . I'm scared as I never had unprotected sex before until then . He says he's been tested many times and Always got the all clear . I don't know weather to believe him I have known him since I was little . But we only got together last year . He seems to think because he's clean he thinks I will be too . How long will it take to get Results .

13 Replies
RankAmateur profile image

Do not worry abut whether to believe him or not, or whether you've got HIV, or he has. *Just get tested...*

Your nearest clinic can be found here:


Get tested (for everything!), and ask them if they can include an HIV test (most do this as a matter of course, but some will ask you). After a few weeks you will get a result - hopefully, and proabably, this will be clear. This means, at that point in time, the disease cannot be detected.

However, it's widely accepted that the disease takes three months to show up. Three months after any "risky activity" where you think you could have been exposed to HIV you should return to the clinic and get another test. This is no big deal, and - hopefully, and probably - will also come out clear.

After both you and your bf have two tests *3 months apart, at the same time*, and they are clear, you can be confident you are both HIV free. This assumes that from the first test on you remain faithful to each other - i.e. have sex with *no-one else*.

I hope this helps.


X0mariax0 profile image
X0mariax0 in reply to RankAmateur

No we haven't had sex with anyone else . Also he says he won't wear condoms anymore . When I'm fertile or ovulating .even though sperm never hit my egg . I'm still worried about this . We was using protection before now he won't . And I won't want to do it without how can I get him to start wearing again without him getting angry over it . And thank you for you're reply .

RankAmateur profile image
RankAmateur in reply to X0mariax0

"how can I get him to start wearing again without him getting angry over it"...?

I don't mean to be flippant, but if I knew the answer to this I would be a relationship counsellor. If you are in a relationship with your bf, then as a normal part of it you are both meant to take each other's point of view into consideration. If he simply gets angry if he doesn't get his own way then that is not the basis of a healthy "give and take" relationship.

It is not my place to judge.

Your comments about ovulating, sperm and egg suggest the condom is the only contraception you are using. If this is true, his refusal to use one, then, means you are likely to fall pregnant too. Please bear this in mind.

X0mariax0 profile image
X0mariax0 in reply to RankAmateur

He does wear condoms but not all the time . He is not angry at me over it . Why did you reply back to me then . I find you're reply rude .

RankAmateur profile image
RankAmateur in reply to X0mariax0

Apologies, Maria, I didn't mean to be rude. You asked "how can I get him to start wearing again without him getting angry over it" which suggests he isn't, and he does... I'm sorry I misunderstood...

X0mariax0 profile image
X0mariax0 in reply to RankAmateur

It's fine he wears condoms now as I explained I don't want children .

tylee profile image
tylee in reply to X0mariax0

Sit down and talk about your options with him. Tell him how uncomfortable this makes you because of the possibility of pregnancy. Also you can get put on a birth control. But do what you want for your body. Don't let him talk you into something you're not comfortable with. Have a good day!, hope this helped.

Hmm- profile image

Go on the pill/ implant or a differently form of contraception. That way u can avoid getting preggers. But only recommend if the relationship is exclusive as u will still be open to STI's

X0mariax0 profile image
X0mariax0 in reply to Hmm-

It is exclusive we are only sleeping with each other not other people. Also I'm scared to take the pill . Because of bad side effects and he says I don't need to take it . As he don't come inside me . I'm gonna tell him that on the red days on my period calendar we have to use protection and on the medium pregnancy days too . But on the low days we don't have sex . As I won't see him then .

Clazzy78 profile image
Clazzy78 in reply to X0mariax0

Women have been know to get pregnant at any time in their cycle.

If you want to be certain to avoid pregnancy it's abstain from sex or a reliable contraception e.g. Pill or implant or coil. Withdrawal method isn't reliable, you can get pregnant by this.

Best wishes 💗

X0mariax0 profile image
X0mariax0 in reply to Clazzy78

We are using protection now .we are always careful .

3simon profile image
3simon in reply to X0mariax0

"He says I do not need to take it". It is your body and you should be involved with the decision. I think that the risks of pregnancy still outweigh the risks of taking the pill. There are other methods too; the coil is one and I - as a man - am not sure why your b/f would not do anything so that he can ejaculate inside you. This is [imho] part of normal sex.

Even if he does not ejaculate inside you you can still become pregnant

This was a post from Two years ago don’t be rude and you didn’t need to reply to me . I’m no longer being stupid and I’m longer with him .

You may also like...