Herpes

[snailcentraal]

I think I have undiagnosed herpes. I think I got it from a bad sexual experience in my teens. However I'm too afraid to get tested because if it comes back positive (which I'm 90% sure it will) how am I supposed to tell my boyfriend of 4 years? It would break our relationship. It would break me.

[Evelyn-101]

if telling your boyfriend you have herpes breaks your relationship then he isn't the one for you. someone who loves you will except you no matter what you have. having recently found out i have herpes, i've found that its not actually as bas as everyone makes it out to be .... well at the moment its not. although you get outbreaks your skin does heal and you can continue with your life. if your worried about his reaction why don't you explain the situation of your bad experience. if you've been together for four years you must be in a good place and understand it each other so you shouldn't be afraid to tell him this is something you can get past. im sorry you've had to deal with this on your own for so long, but its good to get checked out and know if you really have it so you can talk to your boyfriend about it. i hope all goes well for you have a little faith that things could just be okay

[abmikey]

Unfortunately you can't bury your head in the sand. It might be hard, it might be embarrassing but you really need to find out whether you have Herpes or not. If you have, then you need to tell your boyfriend, he has a right to know, because if you have been having a sexual relationship, there is a good chance he will have it too.

Don't worry about going to your local sexual health clinic, they are not there to judge you, they are there to help.

[Cher29 in reply to abmikey]

Seriously !!! I am not a premiscuos girl!!!! In my twenties I got engaged before he moved away.. I believe when he came back he gave me herpes... We never talked bout it because we rarely had sex, but I did not know what was wrong with me; only swollen glands in the groin area:.. Many years have gone by... Make a long story short.... I suffer today I feel like ever bump on my body is a herpes sore!! Get on antivirals every day!! It will lessen the stress physically and emotionally!!!! Take care of yourself atleast while u are deciding to tell!!! Herpes is common!!! Effects affluent and the poor!!! Get medicated!!! No one will tell you otherwise; especially if u are sexually active!!! It will lessen the chance of spreading to others; even though there is no cure. You have taken the first step!! I'm proud. Of u!!!

[Charming50]

I am now 65 years old and contracted genital herpes through an indiscriminate sexual encounter some 25-odd years ago following my divorce. While I will always regret it, and was devastated at the time, I learned to recognize the signs of an outbreak early and treat it immediately (even before you have a blister). It usually comes back in approximately the same place every time. As I got older the episodes became fewer and far between. I have had a normal sexual life (of course no contact during an outbreak) and entered into a serious relationship at the age of 56. When I felt comfortable, I told him and he accepted that as a 'condition' that I had and reassured that he would not be infected as long as we did not engage in sex when I had an outbreak. You need to tell your partner about it, and not be ashamed that you have a medical condition just because it is sexually transmitted. As someone else has already said, if he bolts, he's not worth keeping. Chances are he already has it as men don't always show the symptoms, or are afraid to admit it.

Use a topical ointment (see your doctor or pharmacist) to be applied as soon as you feel that 'pin prick' in the area of the blister, well before it becomes a blister. I also use L-lysine capsules at the first sign of an outbreak and continue until I'm sure it's over (see your health care practitioner for this). Stress is the worst trigger, and in my case too much fresh fruit (melons, etc) can trigger it, so pay attention to your own body and figure it out.

Hold your head up girl! There are a lot worse things in life. Just deal with it and know that it will be less as times goes by.

[xturner]

I have it but I always forget I've got it until someone mentions it! 7 out of 10 people have it in some form, it's so stupidly common. It's more common than diabetes and cancer.

It's not a proper STI, it's only considered one because of how it can be transmitted (through sex) and because it can appear on your genitals. Apart from (usually) the type of herpes it's exactly the same as a cold sore around your mouth or a whitlow on your finger. If someone had a whitlow and touched you somewhere where you'd cut yourself you could get herpes in that area.

I can't stress how much this isn't a big deal. I just view it like thrush, it's just annoying and inconvenient but there's absolutely no health risks and it goes away after a week or so. My doctor gave me medicine for chicken pox and shingles (also types of herpes) when I was first diagnosed, it didn't even mention it was used to treat herpes, which to me showed me how little a deal it was.

With regard to telling people be honest, but make sure you have the facts to hand so you can reassure them. herpes.org.uk is an amazing website to visit for reassurance and to give you all the facts about it and helping you with ways to bring it up with people. Also remember that you can't always pass it on, only right before, during or right after an outbreak. The rest of the time it's like you don't even have it.

If people you tell aren't ok with it then they're idiots and not worth your time as far as I'm concerned, as long as you've given them the facts and things. When I was first diagnosed I was mortified and basically thought I'd be alone for the rest of my life. But after reading the website above I realised that was a load of crap and it was literally the most pointless thing to worry about. My doctor told me not even to bother coming back for more medicine if I had another outbreak as it would have disappeared before I'd managed to get to her anyway.

Please please please don't let this worry you. It's so not a big deal it's ridiculous. I wouldn't have sex with someone if I get thrush - I wouldn't have sex with someone if I have a herpes outbreak. It's exactly the same to all intents and purposes in that it doesn't do anything health-wise, it's just a bit annoying.

And I'd much rather have it down below than on my mouth where people can see it!!!

[Hidden]

I've just been diagnosed with hsv type 2 today... I don't know how I'm going to break the news to my current sex partner. My gp hasn't really provided me with much information in regards to it but they said chances are that it's from my most recent sex partner. I'm not too worried about having it, tbh rather great full that I have a diagnosis! But my symptoms appeared a day after having sex which worries me that he probably already has it. Has anyone got any tips on how to break the news? In a way I feel annoyed with myself and him but then it's neither of our faults.

[ronniehdgarcia]

Trying to figure out what symptoms mean can really make people nervous, because some of the symptoms of herpes and other STDs seem the same. This makes it all the more important that you visit a health care provider if you think you have an STD. What you described doesn’t necessarily sound like typical herpes symptoms, but it is still important to go see your health care provider. You can check on online like meetpositives.com/ for more details and informations regarding herpes and std conditions. Its also a great site to interact with herpes people and share experiences. Get out of your shelves and dont be afraid of having herpes.