im 22 and i’ve never held a job - only done some previous volunteer position. Im on benefits and have been for a considerable period of time.
I went through a period of serious bad mental health i couldn’t leave the house or talk to anyone at all, but now i’ve recently started leaving the house and i spoke to 3 people yesterday (granted only hello’s but thats a start for me) so i want to move forward.
I don’t think i’ll ever be in the position to hold a full time job.
I have barely any qualifications above a few GCSE’s and im really worried if i was to get a part time job by some miracle - i’d find it too much and quit. Especially a people focussed role such as retail.
I was thinking of going back into college to gain a level 3 qualification but im not sure how that works given im now old! But my thought was that its more ‘gentle’ than employment and i can have support there rather than go into a job - be limited in support.
i’m really scared, and lost. I feel like i’ve ruined my life and i will never be able to move out of my parents house. Im also scared that my pip will be taken from me because i’ll be deemed “cured” as i’ve gone into edu/part time work and then i’ll have a fraud record or something?
I was in therapy for it but he didn’t believe in illnesses and said everything is your fault because you thought it up which didn't help at all so im not even sure im able to continue therapy work let alone edu/work.
Have i ruined it? What can/should i do?
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Bmth22
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You won't loose PIP, it's there for your Daily living & how things effect you. It's only if you receive Universal Credit, that when your in Paid work, they take amount your earning, off of your UCredit. To lift your confidence & flexible hours, why not try some Voluntary work, or Shadow a job you might like, meaning to do with someone else, their job roll. Hours of work, doesn't have to be 9 till 5 anymore, you can opt for just a few hours a week & time of day or evening, there are evening Shifts or morning or daytime. What about Hotels, making Beds, cleaning & restocking the rooms, sounds like you want to be in the Background, rather than in the Forfront, maybe Admin, computers, Office are your thing. Adult Education, if your on Benefits, you can pay less for courses. Pop to your local Jobcentre or call, chat about Support to try Part time & courses, if it's too much for you then, you can stop & rethink your better options again.
Yes. I’d love to do something small like cleaning out at an animal rescue where its not very public-y. But i’ve been told im unable to do that as a job without a animal care/welfare qualification so i was thinking of doing that but i was worried about funds as i don't have that amount of money up front and wether i could handle a full time course (i don't want to get the funding be forced to study english and maths along side and drop out). Because i don't want to commit, loose everything and find it too much. I also don’t really want to be around 16year olds but i guess thats something i’ll have to deal with.
i don't know how to shadow someone at their job but i’ve been looking at volunteer positions in local rescues near me but there are none.
I feel like had i gotten support earlier i’d be alright but im sorta stuck and its just me trying to navigate but im unable to understand it (if that makes sense).
Ask gp if you need any Support Adult Social Care in B"mth, Poole. Also give Kingstone Mauward a call, have a chat, about Animal Care course, they also run a minibus service to collect and drop off, at certain places, your only 22yrs, it's 25yr old when you would need funding. Put your own advert online post, ask any rescue Dogs, small furbabies, Horse Stables etc willing to give you a Voluntary placement.
I think for college courses its 16-19 for funding im not sure its 25 because i dont have an EHCP. I’ve tried a few local rescues near me but none are willing to work with me. I feel stuck. Thank you for your support.
Therapist needs reporting. Complain to your GP so they don’t refer anyone else there.
If you’re unsure about attending a college maybe look at Open University. You do the course online but are able to use message boards to chat and you attend tutorials online where you can speak or type chat with others.
Volunteering is a good idea for work experience without the pressure. Hospital radio choosing songs and playlists, a library sorting and replacing books, a charity shop sorting and pricing clothes, a care home reading to residents etc., those sorts of jobs have minimal customer service but will also enable you to try it out occasionally.
It will also look good on your CV and show you are serious about getting into work.
At 22 you’re far from too old to study. I started my degree with OU aged 41 and finished it after 4 years. There were many who were much older than me.
PIP is not means tested and it doesn’t matter how much you earn. You could be on a six figure salary and if you’re entitled to it you’ll receive it. (They may try using education/work against you, but they shouldn’t and you can appeal against that).
With a part time job you’d probably still be entitled to UC. to top up your wage. You can speak to Citizen's Advice Bureau or look at their website for more information and advice regarding benefits.
Look at jobs such as lollipop man helping children cross the road. Minimal contact, just a smile and a wave, limited hours, but gets you out the house. Or perhaps collecting glasses in a local pub a few evenings a week. Explain you are autistic, they may even let you wear headphones so you don’t have to speak to people.
Yes i have complained to the manager and requested a new clinician. I’ve done volunteering in the past but all the positions i would be able and want to do have been snapped up i think because a lot of year 11 + 13 students are doing it over summer?
I did look at OU, But they dont offer a course i’d find beneficial, So i was looking at college courses. There is a course i’d like to do but its 2 years and im not sure i’ll be able to complete that. Maybe i wont need it at all and my volunteering aspect would give me enough to gain the job?
i’ve accepted that when i go into edu or work i’ll loose the UC but that im not fussed about as its not a whole lot anyways i just didn’t want the pip that me and my support worker fought hard to get.
Thank you i’ll get in touch with some local support about those quiet hidden background roles.
I just wanted to add to the rolling comments here, that you're totally not written off. You're only 22! Good GCSES, then a degree and then straight into a job is not the one and only route. There are so many different ways of finding your way, and the one that works for you will be yours.
I did volunteering when I was struggling speaking and getting out my parents house, and it was a good pathway to go. It can help build a little confidence, and you can decide how much you want to interact with others.
Sometimes the hardest thing is having the faith that things can get better, especially if you're feeling uncertain about a lot of things. But I strongly believe the future can surprise us in good ways we can scarcely imagine. (Seriously, I spent 16 years trying to get out of school, plus massive mental health breakdown, finally left and then over a weird and bumpy road, I've now ended up as a teacher...!)
The therapist definitely doesn't sound right. The mental health issues we can end up fighting aren't anyone's fault, especially not the person who has to live with them. I would absolutely recommend seeking someone else. (For a free option, IESO online therapy are a free service iesohealth.com/ which might mean you get to see someone a bit quicker). Whichever you go for, I'd definitely look for someone who you feel comfortable with and feel like you can trust. They should build you up and help you work out the best ways forward.
If you want to I'd say absolutely go for it with trying out some adult education. (If you don't go, you'll never know!) Depending on the college, you can also declare if you've got ASD, or have social communication challenges, etcetera, and they may be able to offer additional support that can help make your time there as smooth as possible.
I really hope you can feel better in yourself some day. It might all seem a bit overwhelming at the moment, but you're absolutely not written off. You've barely started! (and 22 is never ever too old )
your story at the start is very similar to where i am now. Kicked out of mainstream ed. got a few gcse’s (bad) and a level 2 college qualification. Diagnosed with a few health issues, Then i was unable to leave the house or talk to anyone. Now im making improvements. Im still so incredibly anxious, but im also really isolated.
Its really inspiring that your story has ‘worked out’, it gives me hope. Thank you.
Firstly, you're definitely not old! I find myself in a similar situation to yourself and I'm nearly 20 years your senior! I wouldn't classify myself as too old to either study again or go part-time.
You can start off with part-time work and speak to the DWP about it to see how many hours you can work and still receive benefit.
I have a friend with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, who works 2 days per week in a box making factory that specialises in employing people with mental health conditions.
He still receives ESA, Pip (called Adult Disability Payment here in Scotland) and housing benefit. However, he is ripping off the system, as he claims his Mum is his landlord, as she uses a different surname.
The annoying thing about that is I'm technically more disabled than he is (mentally and physically), but his conditions manifest more prominently than mine, in the way he talks and the way behaves. He gets way more assistance than I do and Autism Scotland even pay for a flat for him - which he rents out to someone else - I kid you not! He was able to live independently without a 'support worker's for 10 years, whereas I've only been away from my parents just over a year and I'm struggling to live independently, which will happen now that my girlfriend wants me to leave her house.
I studied microbiology, but failed to complete the course, which I realise was probably due to my then undiagnosed ADHD. I then worked for 20 years to various success, but my last job resulted in me being bullied by my boss and my having to go off sick, to then being fired.
Definitely talk to the DWP about how to do part-time work and still receive your benefits. They wouldn't have any issues with that. As long as you notify them of any changes to your circumstances, you'll be fine. Definitely best to ease yourself in to working. You may decide to go full time after a while, or you may not. At least part-time work gives you options.
Once my mind's in a better place and I've been assessed for autism, I'll be looking for part-time work too.
Yes i feel 22 for uni is fine, 22 for college and A level equivalents isn’t 🤣
I find it odd how someone can display more monotone behaviour but be able to cope fine and get full support but the quieter types (my type) aren’t able to get full support because we don’t “look the part” but anyways…
I’ve looked at part time i got an interview and failed it. Im not sure im able to get any Job as i don’t have the qualifications for it. So i feel i have to suffer and get a level 3 qualification in order to increase my chances. But i’d need support with it. I have a phone call with a career’s advisor which i think i’ll find useful as i’ve never had that and then i can get a path to follow.
I'm exactly the same, the shy quiet type, who can be well spoken and polite and manages to maintain a 'mask' on a daily basis, though recently said mask has been slipping.
My friend went through school as 'slow' and 'dyslexic', so I tried to teach him to read, but he just kept giving up and wouldn't try. It turns out he never was dyslexic, he was just lazy and quick to give up. He had his exams read out to him in a different part of the school. What gets me is he really makes a big thing of it.
He was relentlessly bullied at school, which is why I stuck up for him and befriended him, but now, years later he meets up with and hangs around those same bullies. He never acknowledges the fact I lost my street cred at school by going against the tide of bullying. It has left me extremely bitter. Especially as his Mum classes me as a bad influence on him because I question some of the narratives she forces him to believe.
Fingers crossed the careers adviser will be of help. You might also want to contact the Citizens Advice Bureau, as they can give you advice about benefits, working and studying. It's definitely worth a shot. I think it's unfair how workplaces often require experience of working that job before they will employ you, as it seems to defeat the purpose.
hello! Just to say at 22 your life has not yet begun so cannot be ruined! I inow some 40 year olds who xant hold down a job!! You have very good self awareness. I hope you are able to find a better therapist to support your mental health xx
It feels that way, a lot of my peers are moving on, got degrees and good jobs, houses, family, married and then theres me stuck. Is so isolating. I have complained to the practice so i hope i get a nicer therapist who understands and can help.
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Should I get formally diagnosed?
I feel like I’m living a lie. 
