Grief and autism: I lost my mum before... - Autism Support

Autism Support

3,657 members879 posts

Grief and autism

Kereena-12 profile image
6 Replies

I lost my mum before Christmas and I finding it hard I not cried at all miss her bad. Anyone else struggling has I see others and what they say about grief but I thing some with autism grief different I no I and my family are.

Written by
Kereena-12 profile image
Kereena-12
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
6 Replies
KingkittyS profile image
KingkittyS

sorry to hear about that. Praying for you.

Aspen797 profile image
Aspen797

I am so sorry for your loss. You are right that everyone grieves differently. It can be strange to see so many different ways in which people react to loss and easy to wonder if our own way of processing our loss is okay compared to others. It most definitely is. I hope you and your family are supporting each other and getting support during this difficult time.

Bee-bop profile image
Bee-bop

Hi Kereena-12,

As Aspen797 says, grief is unique to us all and there are stages we go through. In one stage we can be in shock and that can be very different for each person. My youngest daughter did not cry when my mum died initially although I knew she was sad and she didn't cry at the funeral. It wasn't because she didn't care, she had got quite upset on her last visit to see my mum and my other daughter (also being tested forASD/ADHD) cried a lot when she last visited my mum and was too ill to attend on the day of the funeral.

However, when my youngest daughter's guinea pig died in 2021 she cried and cried and was completely overwhelmed.

It can be that tears sometimes come and other times they don't and sometimes they can come later. It doesn't show how much a person is missed or cared about.

cruse.org.uk/ is an organisation that can help with understanding Grief.

Blucher67 profile image
Blucher67 in reply toBee-bop

My father died when I was 13. When my cat was run over a few years later I was devastated. This was the last link to my father who died on my bed. I was asked whether I wanted a new bed. I replied, there is nothing wrong with the one we have. When you look at the world with logic rather than emotion or appearance, would not life be better for all of us.

Bingonut profile image
Bingonut

A close friend died three weeks ago and I was very upset but didn't really cry. My cat died yesterday and I'm much much more upset, crying all the time. Both deaths were unexpected. You feel what you feel. Try and let yourself feel it if you can. As other posters have said, there is no right way to grieve.

Blucher67 profile image
Blucher67

Why allow people to guilt you as you have not cried? We morn in different ways. I wrote and read the eulogy at my mother's and grandfather's funerals. I had them laughing. Funerals is to celebrate their lives. Many that show, demonstrate and wail are shallow. It is them shifting the guilt to others. Where it is about appearance.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Mild autism

Hi there my name is Emma im 20 (21 soon) i havent been diagnosed but i would like confirmation ive...
Emze21 profile image

Autism uk

Hi I am currently on the waiting list for an assessment and have been told there is a very long...
franwilde13 profile image

autism Diagnosis

I have recently been for an assessment and it has been confirmed I have ASD. I thought I’d feel a...
Calmly profile image

aspergers/autism

I have a 49 year old son whom I think has autism. I read something about a woman with a child and...
maggie41 profile image

struggle with autism and feeling lonely

I've recently been diagnosed with autism im 26 and im finding it hard i dont have any friends to...
catmummy3 profile image

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.