autism Diagnosis

[Calmly]

I have recently been for an assessment and it has been confirmed I have ASD. I thought I’d feel a huge relief, however at the moment I am feeling nothing. I’m not sure if this is normal or whether I don’t feel different and not under so much pressure and it’s my anixiety meds which are currently in the process of changing. I not sure if it’s just me taking time to adjust. I mentioned it to my manager as I ended up going private for diagnosis and she said “it’s almost like you want to be autistic”. Not quite sure what to read into this comment. I feel that now I know why I am like I am that sort of helps me to understand myself. It makes me wary of telling her other issues I have as she will just make some judgement on me.

[Schilddruse]

What a nasty thing of your manager to say! I'm sorry she treated you so meanly. What I'd take away from this experience is not to share any more information with your manager unless strictly necessary and be on your guard with them.

I don't think there's a "right" way for you to be feeling immediately post-diagnosis. It's a lot to process, so be patient and give it time. 💜

[Redgreenblue]

I would not know how to react to that either, does your manager not know the waiting times for these assessments.... i would have thought management should be more supportive than this?

I asked about a referral the other week while I was at my clinical trial appointment connected to depression and the psychologist there actually advised me to go privately due to the waiting times being well over 1 year. I just have to wait for my assessment, I self-referred.

[NotJim]

I agree with Schilddruse, that there isn’t a right or wrong way about how you feel. I remember when I got my positive diagnosis and how odd it felt, certainly no sense of euphoria(!) It was more like I was reassessing everything about myself in retrospect and coming to a new way of understanding how I think and such.

It may take some time for you to work out how you feel about it. And that’s totally fine.

As for the Manager comment, like the others have said, trying to be autistic is not the same as trying to get diagnosed by going private to avoid the huge waiting lists and long drawn out processes! I’d take it with a pinch of salt, you know your intentions, and although they have made an odd comment that doesn’t mean you have to take it to heart.

[A-M-O]

Your manager sounds like an ignorant bigot, just ignore them. As for how you should feel, you shouldn't feel any different, you will feel how you feel, and that is always controlled by your condition, that's just the way it is. However, it should help you to start understanding not only yourself, but others, the journey has only just begun, and there is a lot to learn and digest, so don't beat yourself up, take time to process the reality that you have a particular condition, then take your time to learn about it and analyse how it specifically manifests itself in you, remember it is a spectrum condition and we are all affected differently, similarly yes, but also uniquely. Once you start to understand yourself better you will start to see other people as they really are, and believe you me, that's the real eye opener, never realised how many narcissists there were, it's rather shocking, I even married one! BTW I have comorbidity Dyspraxia, Asperger's (ASD) and ADHD and have obtained 2 qualifications in Understanding Autism & Understanding Behaviour That Challenges, so I know how you feel and I wish you happiness and good health on your journey.

[Bee-bop]

Hi there Calmly,

It sounds dismissive what your manager said but, this is about you getting a diagnosis to help you understand yourself and get any support you need. So, your manager probably needs some training in working with neuro divergent individuals and employment law regarding equality and reasonable adjustments. Try not to feel threatened by their judgements , I have had friends dismiss my disability (I have chronic fatigue syndrome) and I choose not to get engaged in that. Just tell your manager what you are comfortable with but, also see if you have an advocacy group in your area to make sure you get the support you need from your employer.