The problems of being a good listener - Autism Support

Autism Support

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The problems of being a good listener

Fuunycat
Fuunycat

Does anyone else get used as an emotional sponge?

I don't understand emotions quite as well as most people but I am always happy to listen. But as I have gotten older I started to understand things more and more. It is getting harder to listen to people problems especially when I can't express my own problems. It always ends up as a one-way conversation.

Does anyone have any solutions?

4 Replies
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Hidden
Hidden

Obviously you need people who understand you and autism or people who are good support system but with toxic or negative people they may ignore and make you feel worse. You need to get rid of toxic people and choose your friends wisely. Also if you have severe problems you might like to speak to doctor who can recommend good psychiatrist - depends how severe and you are protected by confidentiality. Use this site and others in My Hubs for support about problems, worries and concerns - Anxiety and Depression has very good support. This group Autism is also good on good days.

Fuunycat
Fuunycat in reply to Hidden

I am very particular about my friends. So I know (or at I least I think I know) they are good people. I will look at the other hubs.

Thank you for the advice!

Hi, I've had the same problem. I've been taught that the rule is to set boundaries. You're allowed to say you don't want to talk about negative things sometimes or any times.

One of my friends has been doing it more often recently, especially when they needed help with school assignments. When I made it clear that my time is limited to help with that stuff and that I'm just not liking talking about negative things, they backed off and have been making an effort to tell me in advance if it's something that'll bring me down, so I can back down. I have backed out. They've been okay with that.

Friends understand that sometimes, you need positivity and also, a need to express yourself as well as listen. I hope that helps.

Finding outlets for your own expression is the key. Create boundaries and be confident in valuing your personal space. Try not to be responsible for fixing people's problem although just listening can be a huge help.

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