no idea where to start...

[Unstatable]

from the start of school i never wanted to be friends with anyone at all and it seems to be bleeding over from that.

also i find it hard not to get distracted from doing things and when i get in to something you can't get me away from it, i find it hard to see black on white and vice versa using coloured over lays seems to help me more (school never picked up this that at all) white or anything near white give me a migraine that can't be removed with painkillers and often ends with me having a blackout anyway because of the pain.

with school i was anti-social i never wanted to be with people or even near them,

my friends i have are always prodding me to keep me what is best described as awake,

i have been know to have stressful blackouts and have lost most of my memories because of this,

my anger is just over the top and i can't control it

i feel safer at home than i do anywhere else (sometimes not even at home)

i have no idea what i should do at its making me depressed because my GP doesn't give a hoot about it just keeps giving me depression meds that seems to make my anger really really worse than what it should be, its like a bottle being opened and the contents fizzes out in a violet way like putting Mentos in to a bottle of Coke Cola.

my anger is just way to much if i am (drugged up to my ears) on meds then i don't have a reaction to anyone or anything... been like this from school.

i was bullied at school for being "different" because i didn't want to revolt against the teachers i just wanted to be left alone even with my friends i made.

i didn't talk much and still do.

i find it hard to make friends and i have no idea how i made the ones i have now.

my best friend he came up to me not me going to him when i started school i was a larry (English slang)

and that is the way i wanted to be at least then i couldn't hurt anyone.

everything bad that happens in my life i believe that it is always my fault even if it wasn't and wish i wasn't born.

i often repeat myself and not even know i have done it

i often find it hard to talk to people about my true feelings because i am afraid of what might happen to my friends i have now.

no matter what i do or try i always believe its my fault so even more weight goes on to my shoulders

i am also dyslexic having it hard to learn new things

PLEASE help me this is my last chance to really get the help i need

[chamomile1]

The National Austistic society has a helpline that may help you 0808 800 4104. You could also show this email to your GP, as often there is not enough time to express how you are really feeling in a consultation.

[Hidden]

I have two sons with Asbergers, ADD. It has taken years to get a diagnosis. Your symptoms are all the issues Asbergers folk have. I have just recently found out I am Dyslexic, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and now under assesment for ADD.

The Dyslexia is on the Autism Spectrum, it's one of the clues. The symptoms overlap so this is how so many folks get missed and compounded by an appaling lack of understanding of Autism.

I hope you get answers and the support you need. Autism Iniative are very good once you get the answer, have to be over 16. Look on their website , look at the case histories.

Good luck.