It has been a year since I posted on here and I got a lot of love and advise so here I go again... my brother has been put forward for a double lung transplant but is very under weight, the problem is on top of everything my brother has had an eating disorder for years which has never been addressed because of denial, but now he needs to add 5kgs before he can actively be put on list, he goes to pulmonary rehab when that finishes he should continue, but doesn't a lot through fear. He has a lady come prepare lunch and an evening meal, but he isn't eating them.. last year he had to have all his teeth out which hasn't helped, but he has good fitting teeth but he still isn't eating, we've lost our mum 18 months ago and now my dad funeral on 9th Jan all reasons to hide behind to not eat...time is running out ... we feel he needs to be in a residential eating disorder programme with psychological help does anybody have any suggestions or knowledge of what we can do.. I feel if this isn't addressed now and I mean now we are going to lose him. He's only 50yrs the consultant pointed this out to him and that they can help him but not at the weight his is now, he was meant to go back to Harefield this month but has cancelled as there is no change at all in his weight since last visit..if anyone has any advise or experience we need help to help him...sooner rather than later.
Fear for my brother: It has been a year... - Lung Conditions C...
Fear for my brother
What a terribly sad dilemma for you and family and so sorry for the loss of your dad. I think you’re right, your brother is in denial and finding excuses not to eat.
He certainly needs psychological help so what does his GP or any other doctor say? Surely they need to be involved.
I hope you get help for your brother and do stress the urgency to who’ll ever listen.
Thinking of you. Xxxx
He is very depressed, is he on any antidepressants? Would he take them? He needs to see doc. Maybe you could go with him. Perhaps you could tell the doc. Yourself. I know it's difficult, but if he doesn't want help, there is not much you can do, except be there for him. Don't be upset when he gets angry with you, it's the illness not you he is angry with. But living alone, not able to work, losing close family, and having this terrible condition, is sometimes overwhelming. All you can do is be there for him. Kindest thoughts to you. Pat
What an awful situation to be in. I can see that the situation is desperate and you need help as quickly as possible. Have you explored every avenue ? most hospitals have a dieticians department, or maybe they have a nurse attached to your G P surgery. Maybe the Samaritans could offer some support or advice. I wish I could offer more, but I hope you get some proper help soon and wish you all the best.
Christine. X
Oh my Nibblet . What an awful situation. Do the transplant team know about his eating disorder? How long has he had it? If he does go for transplant evaluation , there is a physiological examination. If they feel he cannot handle the stress and toll the operation will have on him, they may decide he isn't a good candidate. Also, if he is unable to eat post transplant, regular, healthy meals he certainly will have a lot of issues. Does he understand fully how all this may hinder his chances? And more importantly, how does he feel about the transplant? Is he keen on the idea?
I think, as suggested, the important thing is to try and help him get in a good place with his eating. I am sorry , I don't know what to suggest, but I am guessing he will need to be monitored by a professional team.
Lastly, I am truly sorry for the loss of your parents. What a difficult time it has been for you and your family. Please also take care of yourself.
Cas xx 🌷
Thank you for your kind words.. I have been speaking to a professional this morning and they have outlined a plan of action which we are going to try so I feel a little less helpless than I did first thing this morning..xx
I'm sorry for the loss of your parents. My thoughts are with you and your brother.
This is a very tough time for you Both. Condolences for the loss of your Parents. As Cas has said, step by step. Your Brother does need to understand the Awful situation he is in regarding his Future Life. Good Luck Hun to you Both. xxxx
Hello . so sorry to hear of your fathers death and all the other family problems. You could speak to your brothers doctor yourself as his eating problem is out of control and like yourself he is under a lot of emotional turmoil . But it sounds like everyone is trying to help him, and he does not want to do it, I hate to say this but maybe he needs to be sectioned for his own safety and your peace of mind, I hope you can persuade him to look after his health, take care you need your strength at this sad time.
What a difficult time for you. You have had some lovely replies and I trust that they will encourage you to stay strong for your brother and yourself.Good wishes.
Hi Nibblet,
I’m so sorry to hear of all your woes. Your doing the right thing by getting an action plan. Does Harefield have a psychologist who can help. I am about to be listed and I saw a psychologist at Birmingham to help me with my PTSD. They are there to support you.
One thing he has is your love and support. The other is that it is a lot easier to get help for mental health issues these days, you just have to be persistent and get a proper care package for him and lastly he has age on his side.
I know it may seem desperate but I’m sure there will be a way through. Are you getting any support yourself, like grief counselling?
Wishing you the best of luck
Love K x
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