I’m trying to make myself more knowledgeable and to try and find ways to help my partner let’s call him Freddy he has been diagnosed with sever copd emphysema and also has calcified spots in his lungs he is 17 years older than me so is 75 he is on oxygen not the 16hr but as and when which seems to be a lot more when than before his eating is awful barely eats lost loads of weight his memory is also declining is also a lot more snappy less patient is this all connected to his lung conditions or is it due to something else, I sort of get his grumpiness I’ve been with this man over 25yrs and never known him to take a day off sick now he can barely walk a few feet without gasping for air yes I tell him to use the portable oxygen get a bit ratty with him but all to no avail I don’t know what to do to help him or stop myself getting ratty any advice welcome thank you in advance
copd want some understanding - Lung Conditions C...
copd want some understanding
Dear Sidney2, it’s so hard being a carer for someone, because that’s what you are. Doing the very best you can yet feeling pretty helpless as you watch your loved one decline. Pete and l have been married for 51 years and l’m his carer. It’s such a privilege to be able to do that yet I too get cross with him at times. He has COPD chronic bronchitis, sarcoidosis, heart disease and chronic back problems. He’s not on oxygen as yet but took a fall down the stairs a year ago and hasn’t been the same since. I just have to encourage him to do things but it’s not easy.
Memory problems are a concern but Pete has good days and not so good. He’s not willing to see anyone about it so we just plod on. I just think he has cognitive impairment and leave it at that. Try and stay patient if you can, not easy l know, and take care of yourself too. Wishing you both all the best. Xxxx
I honestly do try but sometimes it’s just to much when I’m constantly repeating myself he also won’t address it but we plod on as for taking care of myself I did shower yesterday first time in two bloody weeks!!! Think it’s back to docs to up my happy pills 😂 xx
I wish Pete would see someone. When Brian was diagnosed back in 2014 he was prescribed Memantine, which slowed his decline remarkably. Still you can lead a horse to water, as they say. We had a determined friend, who was concerned Brian would not be able to look after me, since I had just had a heart bypass op. They get you back on your feet quicker after heart trouble than they do for failing memory.
Hi Sidney and welcome to the site. Caring for a loved one is difficult at times, there is a helpline on this site 0300 222 5800 if you feel you need to talk to somebody about your partners lung health problems. There are loads of posts about copd, just type this in on the search bar and you can look at previous posts, which I am sure will help and give you a general idea x
I have emphysema and I,m on ambulatory oxygen and I can’t walk very far, so I use a mobility scooter and use my oxygen every time I get out of my chair or bed and do anything. I,m 74 and have not let this disease stop me living but it can be tough on occasions.
Hello+ welcome to the forum.sounds like Yr both struggling.has he an 02 concentrator and long tubing?I'd read up on aluk website & other reputable sites.Ths isn't a cure but it helps eg walking,eating etc - controlled pursed lips breathing technique.its also gd to reduce anxiety& also whn struggling with coughing,breathing etc.
U could ask gp to refer hubby for palliative care,which can be a gd support for him+ you.
There's also pulmonary rehab which helps educate us & also to see others in same boat,exercising at own level.they talk about diet & advise full cream cheeses+ milk etc ,higher calorie meals+ snacks.there IS life with emphysema,and whn it all seems so tough,there's help out there x
He has had a referral to one of these which he attended but they decided after 4 weeks he’d gone past this help it’s more frustration for me as he struggles with breathing yet doesn’t use his oxygen which when I point out it’s portable I get a yeah yeah I know but still doesn’t use it unless he’s sat watching telly x
My previous husband, Bob, had severe COPD and heart failure in his last years. He was 29 years older than me. He had always been the sort of man who fought through his problems and struggles, so that was how he approached living with his lung condition too. He tried to do too much at times, and the lack of oxygen in his muscles, heart and brain, led to vascular dementia. It became very difficult to support him as he declined.
The replies above have some good suggestions about things you can try to improve things for you and your partner. Know that you are not alone, and there are people here who understand the difficulties you are facing now.
All the best x
Does your husband have his 0xygen on while eating..I was advised by my Respiratory team to turn my oxygen up whilst eating. It really helps..hope this helps xx.Sheila
Oh no he’s not been told this il speak to him about it thank you x
Thinking of you in your role as your husbands carer which isn’t easy. I hope you are able to get some respite and time for yourself if only a few hours to meet friends ,go to the hairdressers etc. it will be difficult for him not to be fit and in control 🤗🤗
Welcome to the forum. I'm glad for Freddie to have you to support him, but it must be very hard for you. I am a carer for my husband, who has Alzheimer's and quite agree with you about having to say the same thing twice (or 3 times or more.) I think you need to see your doctor and arrange an appointment with a dietician for starters. Freddy's weight loss needs addressing. Also explain to the doc the impact that caring is having on you. You need support, either from an individual respiratory physio or from someone coming in, who could say the things which need to be said without getting ratty, and possibly get through to Freddie that he should be thinking about your needs as well as his own. (It's taken me about 10 years to get through to my husband, so the best of luck with that. ) I hope talking to people on this forum will help you a bit. Best wishes.
There’s undoubtedly a touch of depression creeping in, which is understandable with this dreaded disease. Even people who are diagnosed in the early mild stages find it very difficult to adjust, knowing they have a progressive lung condition. So at severe stage, with most of the old activities gone, and tethered to oxygen, this will absolutely take their toll. Wishing you well
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