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cant stop the thoughts

hope132 profile image
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wrote on here the other day can do alot of things without trouble,swim,walk fast,exercise .my fev1 numbers sere 67% then 6 weeks later 64% but dr told me i was mild even though my numbers say stage 2 because it also goes by activity and what you can do.my dad is 83 and he is 20% he smoked till 73 i stopped at 57 3 months ago.i am always terrified i will wind up like my dad and i will never let it get that far if you know what i mean.dr and other people have told me i can keep it close to where it is till i die if i take care of myself,eat right and exercise.problem is i dont know how to live scared all the time. i know this sounds crazy but the only thing that has ever calmed me down was weed and now i cant ever smoke again and i have no way to relax,so crazy thoughts enter my head like just saying the hell with it im done i dont want to compromise .i know life is about compromise but i am having a very hard time excepting this. my biggest joy in life is nature and being in nature and walking and fishing and being with animals and i am terrified one day i wont be able to do that and i panic .i have what alot of people might think as a dumb question but the dr told me i can do edibles and it wont hurt me at all cause there is no smoke,tried it a few times and nothing.i have to figure it out so i can just relax once in a blue moon. does anybody here do edibles without it interfering with there breathing.i need to have an outlet to relax me or i might loose my mind.

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hope132
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26 Replies
Cary1977 profile image
Cary1977

There is a group on Facebook dedicated to use of cannabis for COPD. I am not a medical professional and do not endorse the unlawful use of any substance. You may however find useful information there related to the consumption questions you have.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi you might have trouble going out in nature in years to come like all of us but you would probably be older than your dad is now! Don't spoil what's left of your life by worrying too much about the future. We have all reassured you that you have many healthy years yet.

You sound like you have health anxiety in which case I would make an appointment with your doctor and ask for some help. x

hope132 profile image
hope132 in reply tohypercat54

the problem is i made a promise to myself .when i was 25 years old when i watched my grandmother die week by week of cancer and the things that i saw in that hospital are burned into my brain so i made a promise to myself if my life was compromised and i could not do the things i love then i am done.sounds selfish i know but i am not sure i can cope with living in constant fear.someone else wrote me the other day that they have been in the same stage for 10 years and have not gone down.the copd hotline told me if i take care of myself it is possible. the dr told me it is possible even after all the doom and gloom i have read.i should stop reading cause it scares the crap out of me. if i knew with alot of hard work and taking care of myself i could remain basically where i am i would be fine with that.use the inhaler one or two times a day and move on and have fun.i cant help being terrified constantly it overwhelms me to the point of saying the hell with it i am done.i wish someone could help me over this. i am trying really hard i am fine for half a day and then panic sets in. my dad is an invalid it freaks me out.i know no one can guarantee you anything in this life and i wish i was like alot of the people on here.i wish i could change who i am.i am constantly testing every breath and that is not good. i went to work today and made a promise to myself i would not do that and i was fine.unloading a truck i work in a supermarket,lifting boxes walking around all day and zero breathing problem. come home mind starts wondering at horror and i go into severe panic attacks and think i cant breath. if you can give me some advice i would appreciate it cause i cant get thru a day without panic attacks.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply tohope132

I have given you some advice which is to to the doctor and get some help for your health anxiety. Meds and/or counselling should be able to help you. x

Healthy24680 profile image
Healthy24680 in reply tohope132

I can recommend reading couple of books to work on those racing thoughts

The power of now

The new earth

Eckhart Tolle

annienell profile image
annienell

Worrying about all this is not helping you. You say that you are able to swim, walk fast and exercise. You have a fairly physical job which you are able to do without having breathing problems and you say you are prepared to work hard at taking care of yourself. As you're only 57 and you've given up smoking you are well on-track to stay 'mild' for many years to come.

Have you told your GP how anxious all this is making you? Would counselling or talking to someone face to face help, do you think?

Please try to stop worrying, keep busy and active - and come back regularly to tell us how you're doing.

Best wishes, Annie :)

hope132 profile image
hope132 in reply toannienell

i am not going back he is horrible. he held on to the xray report for 6 weeks and never even called me to tell me what it said. i have never had a dr ever do that in my life. i went there over 4 years ago and was having small breathing problems gave me an inhaler and said thanku .never even suggested a spirometry test.maybe if he did it would have scared the crap out of me when i was fine and i would have stopped smoking earlier.he tested me the first time told me my score was 67 and looked right in my eyes and said dont worry you dont have what your father has.i only went back after doing research and it did not add up and then he tells me sorry i was wrong you have mild copd. he gave me a winning lottery ticket and then took it away.i would report him but i am to busy crying with my panic attacks and contemplating suicide

hope132 profile image
hope132

thanks annie. i am trying my very best.my aunt says i take after my grandfather he was just like me. he had cancer and they never even told him cause he swore he would jump off the 30th floor balcony and he meant it..he im my opinion was lucky enough to die from a heart attack before ever really getting very sick.my dr told me i could maintain this level with taking care of myself and never smoking again till i die. so did the copd hotline thats what i want but i know there are no guarantes in life.i am just scared as i am sure everybody is on here.i saw my dad 2 months ago before i knew i had this actually the dr the first visit told me i didnt have this and it felt like i won the lottery.then i was told later i do have this and it made it more devasting cause i was walking around on cloud 9 for over a month.my dad is extremely bad and when i see him i see me and it freaks me out cause i know beyond a shadow of any doubt i would never let it get that far and thats what scares me.i will try to take life 1 day at a time and thats all any of us can do. thanks again ann for being so kind .

casper99 profile image
casper99

I was just like you after diagnosis annienell.

After my diagnosis, I went completely to pieces.

I got a sort of PTSD because of my partner passing away and my diagnosis, both being in the space of 3 weeks and led to a mental breakdown.

Get yourself to the doctors, I did, eventually, and I wished I'd done it sooner.

Your GP, can give you something for the severe anxiety, it's better to catch it now, before it gets any worse.

Realise, it isn't normal, to be paralysed with fear and it needs help from a doctor, whether that means taking medication, counselling or group therapy, the choice, is up to you.

It isn't normal for people to be paralysed with fear. Anxiety causes it and it needs treatment.

As for your COPD numbers, I started off with a Fev1, of around 67%, in January 2012.

I blew Fev1 112% at my yearly review a few weeks ago, up from Fev1 83% last year.

I was so shocked because I honestly thought I'd got a bit worse, not better.

I still find it hard to believe, but my nurse assures me, it's right.

Please, stay off Google, it only feeds the anxiety. Half the stuff on there, is out of date as far as advances in treatment goes and the discovery of the huge benefits, of stopping smoking, keeping fit and eating well. xx

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Bronchi and asthma aren't part of copd. Copd consists of emphysema and chronic bronchitis. This is because they are both irreversible and the treatment is pretty much the same. x

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

You said Bronchiectasis in your reply not bronchitis. The former isn't usually found under the umbrella of copd but the latter is. Asthma as it is reversible isn't usually included either at least in the UK. There does seem to be some difference in different countries.

Lizzab profile image
Lizzab in reply tohypercat54

Please explain how asthma is reversible. This is news to me.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply toLizzab

Generally asthma is considered reversible with meds. That's because permanent lung damage doesn't automatically occur. Whereas a definition of copd means there is permanent damage to either the top of the lungs or the bottom. Meds help but can't cure it.

Lizzab profile image
Lizzab in reply tohypercat54

Ah I see . I thought you meant you could get rid of asthma.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply toLizzab

I wish that was the case! I have asthma but fortunately mild which I got in my 30's. I was diagnosed with copd in my 50's. I hope you are well. x x

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

:) xx

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl

Hi, hope132. I used to be paralysed with fear, because I was trying to live in two days that I can't live in - tomorrow and yesterday. A friend helped me learn to concentrate on today - this 24 hours. Yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery - we only have today, and that's a gift, which is why it's called the present.

Whenever I have a negative thought, I try to throw it out of my mind with a thought about today. If I'm sitting on a chair, I feel the pressure of the chair on my body. If there are some lovely scented flowers beside me, I look at them and marvel at their beauty and scent. If the thoughts persist, I may grip my hands tightly until it feels uncomfortable, to pull myself back into the present.

If my thoughts are being really challenging, I try to concentrate on my breathing: in and out, in and out. There are some lovely mindfulness meditations on YouTube which can help. Visit this HU post by HappyLondon for some which can help. healthunlocked.com/blf/post...

Slowly, with persistence and discipline, the express train of negative thoughts can be brought to a halt. Some may try to sneak back in, but it's possible to throw them aside. The main thing to remember is that this too shall pass: it won't always be this way.

Lots of love and (((hugs))).

HungryHufflepuff profile image
HungryHufflepuff in reply toErgendl

This is very good advice. It's too easy to worry about everything and anything, anxiety is irrational and all consuming. The trick is to try to focus on the present and the good things. Not easy! My coping mechanism every morning is to visualize a jar, and put all my fears and anxiety in and screw the lid on. Then in theory that leaves me free to think of what's going on right now and not worry about all the other stuff that happened in the past or might happen in the future. Sometimes too many fears come along and blow the lid off. But I guess anxiety overwhelms everyone sometimes. The best we can do is try to deal with it when we can how we can.

Lots of people here have good advice and understanding and are incredibly supportive. Gain strength from the positive energy here.

Ergendl profile image
Ergendl in reply toHungryHufflepuff

Yes, I use a similar technique. I put my worries in little brightly coloured boxes with ribbons on and place them on the top shelf in my imaginary cupboard, ready for when I'll be better able to cope with them another day. Then I'll take one down and empty it - usually it's emptied itself while I've been thinking about other things.

I did reply to you yesterday but my reply is in cyberspace!!!

I was trying to reassure you 😃

I, like your dad have an FEV1 of 20%!

I'm not going to lie, life is difficult especially in my head, but with the help of friends, family and medication I do lead a fairly normal life 😃 Just a lot slower!!!!

I can't give up smoking because I never smoked!!! My problems are a rare version of Rheumatoid Arthritis!!!

In the 2 years since diagnosis I have had some very dark days!!!!

It is about learning what you can do.

Wishing you all the best on your journey....

lots of love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Snowie49 profile image
Snowie49 in reply toLynnelovessunshine

Hello,

Maybe you can help me as they say I am a mystery as they cannot say what is causing my exacerbations and stays in hospital . I have mild C.O.P.D. I am border line R,A. and having read your post wonder if this may be the answer? Please can you tell me how they found this out.

Julie

Lynnelovessunshine profile image
Lynnelovessunshine in reply toSnowie49

Mine is called obliterative bronchilitis!!!

Narrowing of the small airways. Breathing out is like breathing through a straw!!!

It's worth mentioning to your consultant xx

Not curable though 😞

Snowie49 profile image
Snowie49 in reply toLynnelovessunshine

Thank you for your reply, Is this connected to R.A ?

Lynnelovessunshine profile image
Lynnelovessunshine in reply toSnowie49

Unfortunately yes 😞

Snowie49 profile image
Snowie49 in reply toLynnelovessunshine

Thank's very much for your help and good luck in the future.

Healthy24680 profile image
Healthy24680

Hi, i can relate to the weed dilama in your stort , i do edibles everyday, you just need to know your dose, easiest way is to vape the weed or toast it if u don't want to vape as well , then eat the toasted (vaped weed)

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