Hi

[gothmum]

hi all,I haven't been on in such a long time. I won't come on when im all doom and gloom,so I waited,and waited and waited some more,until life settled down a bit and I felt able to come back on. I've missed this forum,and I've missed you all. Sorry for my absence,hopefully its made the heart grow fonder lol. Hope everyone is as well as can be. Hugs ❤

[sassy59]

Hello to you gothmum, l’ve thought about you often and wondered how you are doing.

Please stay on the forum if you can, we are here for you.

Wishing you well as always. Nice to see you. Xxx❤️

[gothmum in reply to sassy59]

Aww sassy that's made my day,thank you so much. Life's been so awful and traumatic that I didn't want to inflict my negativity on everyone. So much has changed since I was last on 💖 xx

[sassy59 in reply to gothmum]

That’s such a shame gothmum. I do remember the problems you had so I’m sorry that things have been bad for you.

You’re here now though so please stay as you are such a fighter. Feel free to chat about anything but only about things you feel comfortable talking about.

Big hugs xxxx

[Toci]

When we are down is when we need each other most. Lovely to see you back with us. xx

[gothmum in reply to Toci]

Hi,thank you,I just don't like to be too negative here because I know everyone's struggling and the last thing they need is my whining,so I try and wait until I'm a bit better so I'm not just coming on and burdening everyone. Thanks for talking to me xx

[O2Trees in reply to gothmum]

Yes, we struggle and we all have bad days, weeks or months. Don't stay away because of it gothmum - it's a big part of what the forum is here for. Take care.

[Watfordgirl]

It’s lovely to see you/hear from you again, gothmum. I’ve thought about you often and wondered how things are. You’re definitely not forgotten.

Come back soon and have a bit of a chat when you feel you can. Meanwhile, keep your head above the waves and keep on fighting. We’re here for you if we can help.

I’m so pleased you’re back!! 💕 xxx

[gothmum in reply to Watfordgirl]

Aww thanks so much,you don't realise how much that means to me,life's so difficult just now and I'm not feeling very loved,or lovable so your post is heartwarming, thank you 💖💖 xxx

[Watfordgirl in reply to gothmum]

I like your new pic! I’m so sorry about how you’re feeling.

I hope a very gentle hug might help. . . . xxx

[gothmum]

I don't even know how to explain how bad things have been,and still are. I'm sitting here in the dark sobbing,I feel so alone 😢 xxx

[clematis5932 in reply to gothmum]

Have missed your posts and often wondered how you were doing. Take your time and only talk when you feel more at ease xx

[gothmum in reply to clematis5932]

That's so lovely,I'm overwhelmed that anyone even thought of me,thanks so much xx

[gothmum]

last time I posted,last year i think it was,my husband was my carer,not any more,he's my nothing now,my 20 year marriage ended in spectacular fashion and I've been left traumatised.Its just my 15 year old son and I,I'm trying to do everything but physically its not easy.Ive had a really hard time and been horribly betrayed by people that i trusted and thought loved me 😪

[Ergendl in reply to gothmum]

(((Hugs))) gothmum

[gothmum in reply to Ergendl]

Thank you💖 xx

[clematis5932]

I am so sorry to here this news about your marriage. My daughters husband left her whilst she was being treated in hospital with a nervous breakdown. At the time she thought her world had fallen apart, after 18 days in hospital she came home alone with two children one 12 one 7. Six years down the line she works full time, has 2 amazing kids and has managed by mortgaging her house to pay off ex husband. You will get there maybe not today or even for a couple of years but you will. Like you she had friends and people she called family turn there back on her. She did nothing wrong only care and totally support a man who she thought loved her the same. The people who turned away from her she hasn't missed and neither will you, its still very raw for you at the moment hold your head up high and you will get there. Do you still see your daughter and grandson I do hope so. xx

[Nicholatracy]

Welcome back. So sorry things have been so bad. If it helps to post here please continue to do so, no one thinks of you as whiney. A trouble shared is a trouble halved and we all bounce things off each other.

[gothmum in reply to Nicholatracy]

thank you 😊 x

[gothmum]

a year ago my husband,who was my carer,my friend(I thought) and my only family besides my kids,sexually assaulted me,terribly,in my sleep,3 times,at least. But I was scared,scared to cope alone,scared to be alone,so I decided to try and keep my marriage and family together and to try and forgive him.

I told my daughter the day after I knew for sure he'd been doing it.And out of spite he told our teenage son. I went to the police for advice at the time and they wanted to charge him without me,I had to beg them not to.

so fast forward a few months and i was called to the Drs surgery where I was accused of overusing my pain meds.This went on for months,I fought with them and my pain meds were cut back.

I had sleepless nights about it and was so upset because I knew I was careful.

well it turns out that it was my husband stealing my meds and when they were cut back,he started buying heroin on the street and had been stealing £100 every week,leaving my son and I with no food some days.

I put him out and that was the end of the marriage,he told my daughter (his stepdaughter) that id phoned the social work dept on her and she s sided with him,cut me off stopped me seeing my grandson and broken my heart.

my condition's terminal and my ex and my daughter have made sure that my son will be left with not a soul when I die.

I've gone forward with the police case,he's been arrested and charged with sexual assault x3,has pled not guilty,and is forcing our son to give evidence against him.

I have not another soul,its just Finn and I

I had rape crisis today to meet my advocate for the trial,which is due to start 22nd December. I'm devastated 😪

[clematis5932]

I am so very sorry to read this last year I thought you were back on your feet again seeing your daughter and grandson. I really wish I could give you some good advice but not having any experience of sexual assaults I had better not. I know what I would like to do to him but that is another story. Do you not have any neighbours or friends that you could talk with, sounds like you could do with a friend at the moment. xx

[gothmum in reply to clematis5932]

thank you ❤ ,I'd been seeing my daughter and Eli on and off,she d come back into my life then take the huff if I said anything she didn't like and she d take Eli away,that happened all year,then in may she was no where to be seen while my marriage was imploding,then reappeared,now I think she was spying for matty. She told me she was away on holiday for a week but wasn't,she was home,but sneaking past my house,with Eli,to go and sit with Eli in mattys drug den.

I found out about his drug problem because she outed him,they'd been buying drugs together and he owed her money.It was horrific,she for 2 days in a row,came to my home,was openly hostile to me,verbally abusive to Eli,to the point where I had to shut myself in the bathroom with the shower on,but she kicked the door until I came out,Eli followed her into my sons room,she kicked the door,it hit Eli on the face and burst his lip.

then she decided to move to be with my parents,and her my parents and matty are all very happy,while Finn and I have been left heartbroken.

I don't have neighbours id lean on,everyone knows what's happened with matty and I,because its a tiny village,news travels fast.

Mollie and Eli moved and I don't know where they live,I know it's the town where my parents are,and matty got his own house,a street away.

neither of them have even got in touch with Finn to see how he's coping now he has more caring to do for me.

I'm strong,ive always had to be,and im down,but not out,but its so bloody hard,unfair and painful xxxx

[clematis5932]

Be strong, you have to be for your son at 15 he still needs his mom. There is help out there for yourself and son do not be to proud to ask for it, if not for yourself for your son. You need to leave him with some good memories of his mom. xx Please keep talking to us if it helps xx

[gothmum in reply to clematis5932]

aww thank you so much,that's so kind. You're right my son deserves good memories of me. He's the reason I had the strength to finally report the abuse he kept pleading with ne to get justice and he tells me every day how proud and amazed he is at my strength.That makes everything all worth while. I'm strong and I know I'll get through this,it just hurts so much at times,the betrayal has cut me deep.

thanks for your encouragement I appreciate it x