Another bonus I woke up again, so I wonder what the world holds for me today, things to do or not to do that is the question, if only I knew the answer. Weather, I can answer that, yes its out there no sun no rain and no wind so on the whole nothing to really complain about but being British we still can find something I am sure. This morning its off for a hair cut not that its a major job now adays as there is only the back and sides to sort out, I am lucky as my brother in law is a barber, so I keep on the right side of him, It seems unfair that a man with a massive head of hair pays the same as the likes of me that's not got much hair at all. Right I found this joke it might not be to every ones taste but if its not don't read it
Three blokes arrive at the gates of heaven, and are greeted by St Peter. He says to the first man "Have you been a good person?". The first man replies, "Yes I've led a truly worthwhile life, and I have never ever been unfaithful to my life". So St Peter gives him a Rolls Royce car to aid his travel in Heaven.
Then St Peter asks the second man if he has led a good life. The second man replies, "Well mostly I have been honest and caring, But I must admit I had been unfaithful to my wife once".
"Very well" said St Peter" You can have a Mini Metro for transport".
He then turns to the third man and asks him the same question, to which he replies "Well no I've stolen from my loved ones and been unfaithful to my wife many times over the years". So St Peter gave him a bicycle.
Afew days later the second and third man pass the first man in his Rolls Royce , sobbing his heart out, The second man asks him "Whats the matter? if I had your car I would be the happiest man up here".
"I was" said the first man, "but I has just seen my wife go by on roller skates,"
Out of interest I drive a VW Polo, have a good week folks and keep smiling. xxx Fred
Written by
holly17
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Morning, as you say at present a whole lot of nothing. But any day you wake up is a good day. Dozy has to run around chasing her tail to get all the holiday laundry done. This is where she pretends to be the perfect house dormouse( not)
Mornin smiley, didn't get the joke,never mind, off I go to rehab for more exercise today, best behaviour and try not to cause an uproar wherever I go. Taken the "devils smarties " so I should be in top form to make every one smile!!! Hope so. We'll have a good day,lots nice food and warmth.x Bonnie
Of course you never got the joke Bonnie because your a good girl, whoops not that I am saying anyone that got the joke are not good. Have a good day pleased the devils smartie has cut in. xxx love Fred
It is a bonus for us that you can bring a smile to our face every morning.
I'm off to Dr's this morning for an 'education' poor chap but he said he's looking forward to my consultation I bet he didn't get much sleep over the weekend.
My daughter has the start of her GCSES this morning so I will forgive her recent attitude.
I like many are just getting on with jobs as the weather is poor but every job done is a bonus.
Morning my lovely Kracker good to her from you pal, I expect your daughter has been a bit on edge I doubt even if she does really well she will have wanted it to be even better, bit like her mum I expect. Be gentle with the poor man today he is trying his best. Steady with all those jobs there is always tomorrow you don't have to do it all at once You look after yourself and enjoy what you got. xxx Fred aka The old Mariner.
Morning Fred, sunny here, we are going to walk Ollie later. We walked to a park with ollie, yesterday. I love it and couldn,t do it for so many years. It was a goal i made at PR. Oh dear I got the joke, worse than that, I laughed! Have a good day. Love Margaret x ☺
It is still windy here and the sun is just poking through, supposed to get up to about 18 today. Waiting for the cleaner to come and then off to rehab at 2, hope it will be warmer in the room today it was much to cold for comfort last week.
Hi there polly sun out full here now, hope it is warmer at the clinic today, I find those places are normally far to hot. Hope the results are good. Bye for now Fred xx
That's good. So did I so that's at least two of us. That's the spirit always look on the bright side even more when its sunny and warm. Me and the wife plus dogs walked along the banks of the river wye until the tree pollen cut short my breathing. First real outing out since last autumn so things are picking up.
Hi there good to speak with you, yes steady on with the pollen, it can spoil every thing, but great you both with the dog of course had a good walk along the river bank. Yes I agree also keep smiling and always look on the bright side of life.
Evening Fred! I loved the joke, suits my sense of humour😀😀. The weather here was a bit overcast this morning but after lunch it turned really lovely. In fact, when I got in my car about 5pm, the temperature gauge was reading 24C, can't be bad. Enjoy your evening. Jan xx
Hi there Jan a good evening to you and pleased you also enjoyed the joke I was uncertain how it would be received , but the final sentence left it up to the reader. 24C now that can not be bad, have a good evening Jan speak later. xxx Fred
I strimmed the grass at the rear of Kate's and it was heavy going as really long, but wanted to get it done now before I have the procedure done. It will not hurt you to have a day off go out and enjoy the company.Will speak tomorrow. xxx
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
xx
Embarrassment +++++
A golfer and the Dentist.
