.....................this wasn't it. I am in such a bad place both physically and emotionally. The pains in my body are to debilitating today and I've been crying even that hurts. I've fed my beautiful cats and if not for them I wouldn't stay on this planet.
I managed to make me a cup of tea for myself today I am trying to muster up some stamina and energy to make me a bacon sandwich as I have had nothing to eat since 5pm last night. I'm so sorry bringing my lows to you great supportive people. I just don't know what way is up anymore, hopefully tomorrow is day 3 on the antibiotic's and I will be in a better place. The morphine and oramorph are hardly touching the sides of the pain. If things are no better I guess its a doctor call out tomorrow and OMG he is going to see the untidy tip I am living in at the moment.
This place needs hoovered and polished and some dishes washed up. I am grateful the place is only untidy its not filthy, what I would give for a bit of home help right now. I asked one of the few people I know here if they could maybe do a couple of hours a week or fortnight but she has her own parents to look after and she don't know anyone who might be happy to help. I am prepared to pay someone, anyone know of anyone in the Northumberland area that could do this?
The picture above is my saviour Rumour that's the picture I couldn't find last night. He has the power to make me smile even on a dark day like today
Love
Sandra
Ps so sorry for whinging yet again
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JustSandra
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You are not whinging Sandra and I really feel so sorry that you are that unwell. I hope that your GP can call round and get you feeling better again very soon. You need help and perhaps the doctor can get that ball rolling too. What about Social Services? I do wish you all the very best and may tomorrow be a better day. I love cats and thank goodness you have yours. They are so loving and wonderful. Take care. xxxxxx
This group and my cats do keep me going. Both are wonderful, I will try social services tomorrow as well. We are supposed to be a caring nation but this is not the first time I have tried to get help for me it all seems to just fizzle out. No one in the services seem to get on the ball and I end up more frustrated and tearful. When I worked those in my care knew I cared very much for their well being I would go the full 100 yards and then some for them. That don't seem to be in the system these days every department thinks another should be responsible for the problem I am trying to solve. No one says hey you just hold on I will chase this up for you and call you back in an hour. That's how I problem solved I either sorted it or found some one who could. Too much politically correct or not in my job description these days. I have been asked if I have a care manager many times I have replied no but I need one ..... how do I get one ..... I honestly feel I am a vunerable adult most of the time would be a comfort just to have someone even pop in once a week to see how I am doing.
Rumour and Willow are the constant lights in my life, I love and adore them to bits couldn't imagine being without either of them now.
Whinge as much as you want. Most of us have been in your position so we understand where you're coming from. Alas I am too far away from you ( about 300 miles ) to offer help. I would have done it for nothing. No one takes any notice of untidy places. They are more interested in the patient., or should be.
I will continue to look forward to a good day when I can pop in here and say I feel really good today till then I guess I will continue to whinge at least you all know I'm still alive if I'm moaning my head off eh! little bit of very black humour there lol . I did manage to make my bacon sandwiches and I did enjoy them, I am now munching my way through a box of truffles from Belgium I brought back last week. with another cup of tea.
My operation site on my right elbow has joined the sore list too now that was kinda ironic , elbow was fine not a problem with it at all . It was operated on in Nov last year to try to sort out the nerve damage in my right hand and shoulder. So now the whole arm has problems I see that consultant again in May he is a real nice man. Its hard telling him its not helped at all and that more fingers nerves are damaged than what there was to begin with. The joys eh..... sorry whinging more didn't mean too
Ps Puff can we talk I would like to speak with you I will give you my numbers via email if you like
Hiya Sandra. It's a bit dark when you get down the bottom isn't it? Most of us have been there so don't worry about whinging. I usually find a good swear works as good as anything, just make sure the windows are shut when you do it. Give the doctor a ring tomorrow and while you are at it phone Age UK and CAB to see if they know of anyone that can help with the housework.
If you need someone to hold your hand or give you a virtual cuddle I am usually about so don't be shy.
Thanks for your response, I am going to be on the phone tomorrow to get some of the help I need. I hope I am going to make more progress than I have in the past. Its so not easy when ill trying to cope with everything. Comfort eating chocolate truffles at the moment I hope to be able to leave some for tomorrow might not happen.
As I lay here in this bed on the oxygen, I feel somewhat like you today Sandra. But, I do know that I will feel better as so will you. Don't feel guilty about your house, any medical person will not even see that knowing that you have been ill. Don't do like I did one time, and wait to long to call medical help. Sounds like those cats don't have anyone but you. Be sure to get up and move around. Pneumonia loves a body that doesn't move, and I understand you really have to push.
Sorry to know that you are feeling proper poorly today as well. I landed up in hospital a year past February with double Pneumonia that was no joke as well you will know. I did keep thinking then that the next time I woke up I would be better. I was lucky a friend called to say she was coming to see me she wasn't here 10 mins when she called the ambulance and I was rushed in. The doctor told me had I gone to sleep I just might not have woken again as my oxygen levels were so low that scared me I can tell you. Again last December whilst on an unrelated out patient appointment I was admitted with respiratory failure and spent the Xmas eve xmas day boxing day and a few more in hospital with an oxygen mask forced onto my face it was driving the oxygen in to me. Took ages to learn to breathe with the machine but I did master it eventually. I am on a drug that has to be monitored by blood tests my vampires as I call them check my oxygen levels for me every 2 weeks I am happy with anything above 85 and have been very happy at it reading over 92 the past 6 weeks.
I hope tomorrow we both feel better we both have to continue to push
Sandra
Hello Sandra...thankyou for posting the lovely photos of your cats. Often think of all the animal companions I've cared for (and vise-versa) over the years and the joy they brought.
Now, about yourself. Your posts reminds me of where I was almost a year ago so I'm very sorry to know how much pain you're in and understand how incredibly low that can bring you. Not sure if you've been diagnosed or are waiting for test results? I was moving house at the time, and all that goes with it, and actually felt really ill with pain - back, chest, ribs, etc and could only wait for hospital results and finally MRI scan. A few weeks of pain later the doctor rang to say my spine was fractured in two places. As it was the thoracic spine it soon culminated in a severe chest infection by which time I felt as if I was
almost going off my head with it all.
It's interesting to see that you're taking both liquid morphine (oramorph) and other morphine too? Like you I was prescribed the liquid and when the higher dose of that didn't do much I had the morphine capsules..(things were that bad not sure they helped much either.)
Well, just to say that I truly hope these anti-biotics kick in soon and that this all starts to ease for you . These infections
make us feel so wretched and once that starts to give way to treatment we can gradually feel stronger all round.
Sending gentle hugs...Lovelight x
ps I went through age uk and they got me a cleaner, a local girl who now does the hoovering and bed change. Contact your local office and someone will come out and visit you at home..They can also offer help with other area if needed.
ive been reading your posts, but not replied till now,if your in a tip im in a blitz,old wallpaper all over the bedroom,living room as mi nieces belongings stacking higher daily,but who gives a t,,s, I also well not dream but think a lot at night time,now ile go and do the kitchen or will I have a brew,brew 1st as im not long back from getting wallpaper,its like you say, its a bit untidy but not deffo dirty,no way,gawd if I started dreaming there would be nothing done,and I,d forget to go in work,we all have days like that, but im sorry about the pain your in,just take 1 day at a time,wishing you well Sandra,xxx have you tried ads in shops for a little help,that way you would meet them face to face, trustworthy like,and more friendly ,just a thought,might be more cheaper as well,a student looking for a bit of spare money,or a 16yr old or 18 yrs old,looking for a bit spare money,
That's a very good idea, to get some younger ones if you can. Just make sure you put things away that you don't want to find missing later. It's a horrible thing to think of, but my mum had a woman cleaning for her from social services and the woman ended up taking her credit card and running it up. My mum wasn't responsible for the charges, because they caught the woman that took it on a security camera, but you don't want to have to go through that or lose something even more valuable. Horrid people don't care who they hurt. I do hope you get all the help you need very soon. Good luck to you
I have been very often in that state when I cannot even tink of moving into the kitchen. I just stare from the sofa and cannot move. I find that it is time to call for an ambulance to get to the hospital where they will assess you. You need a doctor to help you. who can look after your lovely cats while you are treated?
I hate to think of anyone suffering this horrendous illness by themselves. Your not moaning your ill and we are here for you, I for one am always up really late so come on and have a chat. And the others are right you need some help, don't give up on people. I've been ill for 2 years and have my husband but last August he had a heart attack and triple bypass and I was thrown into panic and there they were my neighbours walking the dog, cleaning cooking, we were only ever on nodding terms I think people just don't poke their nose in. But you just might be surprised if you ask for help.
Hi Sandra, I know how you feel and like you, my cats make me smile when I'm down. You Rumours must be the younger brother to my Zak, did you see the post "For Sandra & her cats ?" check out how alike they are.
Please ring your gp and ask for a home visit, explain how you feel and say that you need help with your everyday needs. Hopefully he or she will contact Social services ...they may be able to bring you meals on wheels until you get your strength back. There are voluntary groups such as the RVS and the Red Cross who may know of people who will drop in for a chat or give you a telephone call. In my area there is a company who will feed your cats if there is an emergency, Citizens Advice may know of something similar where you live.
I know what it is like to hit rock bottom, just having enough strength to eat baked beans straight from the can!..but I am still here and still fighting. Thinking of you .
I agree with Knitter. Get a home visit from your GP, let them see how you are not coping and ask them to arrange some temporary help for you. It's quite wrong that you should go a whole day unable to get your self any food. Can some one get you some ready made soups and pre-prepared meals to help build your strength up.
Thank you all for your replies, I am getting a bit weary and my hand is hurting with all this finger typing sorry I am squishing you all together to say thanks for the advice offered. I used to be a very active person hill walking canoeing horse riding working camping then caravanning. I hardly stopped I guess I just wore my body out too hard too early. Even at school I was in every years hockey team and made the netball team if it didn't clash with anything else I enjoyed. I played badminton for years just for fun. Now at least I have those memories. Now I have other topics to chat about I have a long list of diagnosed conditions that play hell with each others treatments I do a daily juggling act with some of the lesser medications. Example when I am as bad as I am at the moment there is no way I am taking the water tablets I just don't have the energy for 4 hours I'd to be trying to dash to the toilet and inevitably have to strip and wash my bottom half over and over Hmmmm too much info I think. But that's the way it is I do believe in keeping it real. Sanity depends on it . Once again thanks for your lovely replies and for caring enough to post them to me
I hope tomorrow is a better day for us all
Best and kindest regards
Sandra
Ps Helingmic I was in Belgium last week thank goodness I didn't take this ill there!
Ps Lovelight I am going to be busy busy busy on the phone for help tomorrow
]Twiceshy Get you nieces to help you a bit instead of adding to your stress
Ps Kimmy Im glad you found good neighbours mine are all older than me really old man across the road pops over when well enough and I feel so guilty. I also feel a bit jealous in a good way though at seeing all these spritely old dears almost running up the street. I have a walking frame and a very slow pace these days
Hi Sandra, I forgot to ask in my last reply if you were getting all the necessary benefits such as Attendance Allowance which would help pay for a cleaner. Social services could help there. Best of luck ..hopefully the gp will set the ball rolling.
I am building up for tomorrow to get the help I need I have higher mobility and care rate allowances so should be no problem there. I am going to see if Cats protection league can offer peace of mind should I be rushed into hospital also. I have loads of food in the house but I struggle to get into most packaging these days , I even have to use scissors to break into those cat food sachets once I have broken into the box lol. Its as well I can laugh at my predicament most of the time because if not there would be a flood of the tears Ive shed over the past few months with my day to day struggles. This is such a great place I am so pleased I stumbled across it. It makes me feel less alone and not the only one with multiple health issues
Thanks for you kindness and taking time and effort to reply to me
I hope all of us unwell start to feel better real soon
Your not alone we're here don't forget. Consider getting a portable toilet if you've got stairs, I got mine from Argos I've got a towelling dressing gown so I don't have to dry myself then I just change to my other stuff, and I got one of the mesh bags on wheels of Kleeneeze I think so I can put everything in so it's one journey.
Sandra, my heart goes out to you. Telephone Social Services and tell them you want an assessment of need - they are required by law to do this. Tell them you need the help NOW. Get your GP to also do a an urgent referral. Telephone Age Concern also - they can be a great help and will give the practical help you need to get something done quickly. Big (((HUGS))). Chin up, girl. xx
Bless you sweetheart you are not whinging. it's awful that you feel so unwell. Antibiotics do take a few days before they take hold, hopefully, you will start to feel better. Do call your gp in, you may need some steroids as well, I don't know. Also, ask your gp about help., or phone your local council, they may be able to put you in touch with some organisation. Take care of yourself, I hope you feel better soon. xxxxx
Dear Sandra, poor you, I hope you are feeling better this morning. I understand most of your problems and with out my dogs, I too would feel worse.
I have a lot of pain from my fibromyalgia which runs along besides the severe COPD and heart disease. I find that the 2,000 mg of gabapentin a day does help.
I was touched to read that you were concerned about the doctor coming round and seeing your untidy house. I live in fear of any body seeing my untidy house. Isn't that crazy I thought I was the only one! thank you so much for talking about it, you have made me feel so much better.
I seem to be able to keep it reasonably clean by sitting on the floor sliding about and cleaning with those wipes in a bag. those wipes in a bag are a godsend. Hovering is a nightmare.
I did have carers for a few months but they abandoned me because I was too ill to have the shower they demanded that I have within two mins of waking up. They said that
"as I so often refused the shower i was obviously well enough to look after myself".
I asked "help the aged" for the help of a cleaner, they sent round this dear old man who must have been over a hundred he took an hour to to vacuum twelve steps and it cost me a pound a step. LOL
I would love to find somebody I could pay to help me. I hope you have the luck to find somebody to look after you. Your Cat photo is beautiful take care Linda x
I am so happy I made you feel better regarding my untidy home. It is silly but we can't be the only two that panic about such things. I feel like I am sitting in a nest with all the things I need around me tissues, wipes, sweets, biscuits, scissors, nail files, cat treats glasses rubbish bag, books, inhalers , medication, cosy blanket comb brush to name what's on the top off the closest surfaces.
I called Age UK and they called back and someone came out yesterday to discuss my wants and needs. Someone is coming next Wednesday then after that it will be every Monday morning, I am laughing here and hoping its not your father time they send. I know exactly what your saying regarding the carers attitude and the shower, its disgusting treating you that way. I have not been good at accepting personal care except letting them wash my hair, and they wrongly assumed I could do everything else for myself. What I needed care wise and what I actually got was two very different things.
It wasn't really the carers fault it was more the system after I had double pneumonia year past Feb plus the fall out the hospital bed that damaged my right arm I was to have some home help for approx. six weeks, sounds good eh, however week one I got four fifteen minute slots to make sure I was taking my medication because I couldn't get the pills out the packaging I was keeping them right I was a Senior Carer with all my NVQ's up to level three. I was going on to do level 4 to become a Care Manager of my own home alas health said no. Anyways week 2 they dropped the night time visit they just popped those pills at tea time so I could take them, at the end off week 3 another visit was dropped and more pills were prepopped . Two of my three carers were on the ball one of them just looked vacant most of the time didn't have anything to say she was strange. Their managers kept coming to see me and that only meant more cut backs for me. When they stopped coming I was still needing help but I certainly wasn't going to pay for what I had I needed home help but seems some get it free and others have to pay for it and then there was the lists off what they are not allowed to do. I wish I had the energy to provide a service that is needed in this country real care in the community and less of this mockery that is actually happening. The paperwork they had to do was unreal they spent more time in my file than they did doing anything that would have helped me for real. Wow I better shut up now Ps my back is still agony I guess I'm back at the doctors on Monday get the x-ray results then find out what else is falling to bits.
Hi Sandra, you need help from social services, they can put you in touch with home helps etc. Log in to your local councils social services website and look for the emergency social workers number. They should help you. they do here in Grtr Manchester. Hope your feeling better soon and the AB's kick in, if they don't then they mustn't be the right ones, get your doctor out. Good luck , x
I am still waiting on Social Services to come out to see me. and unfortunately I am still in a lot of pain with my back. I am trying to be gentle with it and keep myself as mobile as possible, thinking now about getting a scooter for the next time I feel this bad.I will see the doctor next week see if he has any news about my x-rays
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. I did manage to make my bacon sandwiches and I did enjoy them, I am now munching my way through a box of truffles from Belgium I brought back last week. with another cup of tea.
might not happen. 
Depression
Steroids
Its just one of those days know what I mean?The only energy I could find was writing this scribblet and making mince & mash !!!
Home again ? 
Hello just introducing myself for now, with a question if that's OK
