Please note if you are easily offended do not read
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!
A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...
Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no
Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.
Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, on of the muffins says:
"Man it's hot in here!!!!"
The other muffin exclaims,
"Look a talking muffin!!!!"
When a Woman Loves!
When a woman loves you, you are a husband
When a few women love you, you are a man
When many women love you, you are a lover
When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol
When thousands of women love you, you are a leader
But,
When all the women in the world love you, you are not human… You are a diamond, gold, a rupee, a dollar, a euro, or a yen..
5 facts about You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You
1) Ur so lazy u didn’t read all the You’s
2) U didn’t notice I put a Yoo
3) U r now looking to find out
4) U r laughing coz u realize there is no Yoo and u r tricked
5) U r going to send to others who r “like YOU