As a result of complaints that some people could not take 2 pages and complaining of spilled coffee and sore ribs Either stop drinking as you have the shakes or thank you for laughing.
Today as a result I am looking after your health and welfare you only have one page He he
For what you are about to receive may you always be grateful
There once was a lad from the south;
Who rarely opened his mouth.
And when he did
Everyone hid
And cried ‘Good lord, close your mouth!’
Now see the beautiful sunset ore the ocean blue
Fiery colors due abound of poems there are a few
I wish that I could write one, about that perfect hue
But nothing rhymes with Orange
Orchards stretch for miles, they never seem to stop
There nectar baring fruit is one that’s hard to top
A fruit that justifies a sonnet, but might as well be rock
But nothing rhymes with Orange
How do I describe a basketball?
Or the bricks within my garden wall
The autumn leaves before they fall
But nothing rhymes with Orange
So the hardest line you’ll ever write
One to keep you up all night
So please tell if you might
What the hell rhymes with ORANGE?
Girl Came Angrily Out Of Boss’s Cabin
A Friend Asked- Why are you so sad?
Girl- He Asked Me are you Free Tonight?
I Said Absolutely Free Sir…
That idiot Gave 60 Pages To Type!
Little Johnny goes to the manager at convenience store and asked, “Is this store open all day, seven days a week, 365 days a year?”
“Yes,” the manager answered, puzzled at the question.
“Well, then,” he continued as he walked out, “why are there locks on the doors?”
Mr. Anderson: I am very lucky. When I talk with my wife, she always bows her head.
Mr. Smith: That’s great man, wives like that are hard to find.
Mr. Anderson: Not really, she bows because she is taller than me.
Teacher : What is the longest word in the English language?
Little Johnny : Smiles
Teacher : How?
Little Johnny : There is a mile between the first and last letters!
A man to his friend…
My mother in law died yesterday, I am trying to cry, But tears are not coming out, What do I do
.
Friend: No problem, just imagine she is back..
A famous inspirational speaker said:
“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife.”
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added: “She was my mother”
(A big round of plause & laughter)
A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.
After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
“Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn’t my wife”
Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker.
.
By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!
.
Moral: Don’t Copy, if you can’t Paste
Dirty dishes prove I feed my family, a full bin means I clean up after their messes, messy floors mean I let my children have fun, pile of unfolded laundry means I keep my family in clean clothes, wet bathroom means I bathe my kids! So the next time you walk into my house and see a "mess" think twice before you judge. If you come over to see us, come on in...if your coming over to see my house please make an appointment.
What goes in hard and solid then comes out soft and sticky?
Bubblegum.
* What's about 6 inches long, has a vein running down it, and women love to get their hands on?
A $100 bill.
I was at the post office yesterday and I say this blonde talking into and empty envelope, I ask her what she was doing and she said be quite I am try to sent a voice mail.
go compare, go compare, give me a bat to hit that **** at go compare.
Husband and wife pass a field of cows, sheep and pigs,the husband asks his wife < relatives of your and the wife replied well yes they are my in - laws
Great wifes will let their husbands lick the beaters after making a cake. Great wifes will make sure that it is turned off first
I was so excited yesterday they told me that I was chosen to do a random drugs test,, I said that's good which one do I test first
and finally
Pirate walks into a bar and the bar tender said you have a steering wheel attached to you zip , pirate replies yei it's driving me nuts
Hope you have enjoyed them Have a great day one and all
Daily Laughter
4 am cant sleep so,,,,,,,a steroid joke :) ?
