Another 1 from me: After every flight... - Lung Conditions C...

Lung Conditions Community Forum

56,329 members66,959 posts

Another 1 from me

ann1webb profile image
19 Replies

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.

The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot)

(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget.

Written by
ann1webb profile image
ann1webb
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
19 Replies

ROFl_CGU

Going to bed chuckling

Tina :)

ann1webb profile image
ann1webb in reply to

sleep well Tina x

sillywitch profile image
sillywitch

Thanks Ann my hubby will enjoy this one, he,s an aircraft fitter lol

xxxx

Puffthemagicdragon profile image
Puffthemagicdragon

It makes it funnier as they are real ones. :)

Laughing makes me cough so I had a good cough !!!!

ann1webb profile image
ann1webb in reply to

glad to be of service :)

Toci profile image
Toci

Very amusing - thanks. :)

scrobbitty profile image
scrobbitty

This blog should come with a warning - do not read just before going to bed - otherwise the laughing will wake you up again - cup of coffee time then for me :)

ann1webb profile image
ann1webb

that's if you can stop laughing long enough to get to sleep to start with :) that coffee is really going to help hehehehe

Ann x

scrobbitty profile image
scrobbitty in reply toann1webb

Now would you believe it - I am weird lol Coffee has never had that effect on me !

ann1webb profile image
ann1webb in reply toscrobbitty

That makes 2 of us

scrobbitty profile image
scrobbitty in reply toann1webb

Weird is good :) Keeps life interesting does weird !

ann1webb profile image
ann1webb in reply toscrobbitty

much more fun :)

qbjb profile image
qbjb

Excellent, thanks!

Jude (now suffering with face ache lol)

James48 profile image
James48

Hilarious thanks! :)

ginachron profile image
ginachron

Brilliant, thank you for those!

Gina x

undine profile image
undine

LOL very funny thank you - although not sure I would want to fly with Quantas now - especially after 'auto land very rough' - 'no auto land installed on this plane'? - worrying - still doubtful I will be flying anywhere for a long time.

I would love to copy these to send on but as I have asked before but no one replied - I have no idea how to. If I right click can only 'Select all' which gives me the whole page, all comments everything, if I try to just select with the left then click the right what I have highlighted disappears - help anyone please ...

ann1webb profile image
ann1webb

Highlight what you want to copy then right click you should see copy, I usually have note pad or something open to paste it to. forgot to mention left click and scroll the text you want to copy to highlight it, hope that helps.

Ann x

KingoftheCocktails profile image
KingoftheCocktails

I don't think I want to fly

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Oh what a beautiful morning oh what a beautiful day.

I was going to write a song with those words , then I realized its already been done, question.....
holly17 profile image

Quite long - but so funny. Hope you can open the pic's?

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out...
Nikkers profile image

Another from yesterday

Beautiful creatures the ponies
Blackbird9 profile image

Another view from airport view

Beautiful wet water

Moderation team

See all
AsthmaandLung profile image
AsthmaandLungAdministrator
moderator_AandLUK profile image
moderator_AandLUKAdministrator
Claire_ALUK profile image
Claire_ALUKAdministrator

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.