Anyone else still shielding and reluctant to send children back to school?

[MMBJI]

Hi all,

I have severe allergic asthma, uncontrolled since November 2019. I have had 4 attacks, 2 hospital stays, numerous courses of steroids and struggle every day. I can’t speak or move freely. I am usually able to carry out essential household tasks but am taking 10-40+ puffs of salbutamol (reliever) daily, plus maximum daily Fostair reliever puffs. (Am on maximum meds from hospital-waiting to hear about Xolair.)

So, we are expected to send our children back to school in September, just a few weeks away. Yes, there are measures to “limit“ the spread of C-19 within the school, but what about everyone else each child has contact with outside of school?

We fully appreciate the importance of a school based education, but feel that it is probably more important for our children to have the chance to grow up with their Mother! Given my rubbish lung state it feels like a ridiculous risk to send them back to school. (School have begrudgingly said that they’ll support continued distance learning, but it won’t be to the standard during lockdown.)

Also we are still shielding- I think the emotional/psychological shock might be a lot for 8 yr olds to cope with too.

Plus my 3 children are all anxious about me anyway- as soon as I cough they all panic and check on me. Slightest whiff of smoke/bbq’s and they are tearing around the house closing all the windows.

Help please! Any suggestions?

[Hidden]

Hi,

I totally understand where you’re coming from.

I’m in a similar position but my son is 2. He won’t be going to any childcare (official or friends/family) this year, despite me studying full time (classroom is delivered online). I’m just going to find a way to make that work because I can’t afford more hospitalisations.

We were considering home education for when he’s older, even before the pandemic. It’s a valid option!

If you have support of their school - even if begrudgingly- then your kids have what they need for sure!

You should follow your instincts with what feels right and safest for you and your family. Their education won’t suffer if you educate at home.

You know what’s best for you and that’s what matters.

I hope you hear back about Xolair soon. This is hard going! I started my Xolair on Thursday and really hoping it gives me more periods where my asthma is controlled.

Wishing you well 😊

[MMBJI in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou grow_wild_bloom, those are kind, reassuring words.

I am glad to hear you are getting Xolair, I really hope it works for you, keep us posted!

This is such a rubbish way to exist. 🤞 stay safe and I hope you improve soon.

P.S. well done studying with a 2 yr old at home.😁

[mylungshateme]

I completely hear you. It's so difficult and scary. I have 2 children the older one 18 yrs shielded with me as she was terrified but now she's back to work and college Sept. My other child is 2yrs! And I had to go back to work (nursing) but really struggling with my severe allergic asthma and esophillic asthma also waiting on biologics 😬 I'm at the point I feel I can't continue working just so breathless so instead of partner being stay at home dad he's going to work but I'm worried I won't manage toddler on my bad days so thinking of nursery just until I'm on biologics but oh the risk of nursery. Like you said you don't know who's been where. We've talked about all going back into shielding but just can't afford it, the world feels almost too risky for us severe asthmatics atm. You need to do what's best for you and children surely school have to fully support you in distance learning. 🙂

[MMBJI in reply to mylungshateme]

Hi , mylungshateme too! Crikey you’ve had/still got some difficult choices to make. It’s almost impossible isn’t it? It all seems to be damage limitation. I haven’t worked since last November, when my asthma decided to go rogue and my lungs joined the same club as yours. I also have an 18yr old, who has autism and learning difficulties and she really needs to be getting out. I swing between feeling selfish for being the cause of us all shielding, but then I know they would struggle more if I was in hospital (again) or gone permanently.

Re: managing toddler on bad days, don’t forget the digital babysitter! I am not a fan of screen time for our young people, especially the very young, but needs must sometimes. Mine have watched more tv in the last 6 months than in their colllective lives so far! (1x18yrs, 2x8yrs.) I have salved my conscience by sticking to wildlife programs and documentaries 😣

As you said, it’s all about doing what’s best for you and yours. Meeeeep! It’s just hard balancing it all.

I really hope you get some relief soon.

Stay safe. X

[mylungshateme in reply to MMBJI]

Lungs are great when they work...🤣😂 oh the drama I find I'm constantly battling with myself over choices haha. If you don't mind me asking how do you manage financially not working did you apply for pip? My gosh you really have your hands full but well done what a juggling act. 🥂🙂

[MMBJI in reply to mylungshateme]

Hi, I’m in the very fortunate position that my husband earns enough to keep us all, and can work from home. (Especially since lockdown means our expenses seem less.) Although in principal I hate it, needs must for now. I miss working and contributing and setting a good example for my children. Ho hum!

Having said that, he is under threat of redundancy currently. If that happens I don’t know what we’ll do, not thinking about that yet!

PIP-wise , I applied successfully for my daughter (very different needs to us) the general approach seems to be to complete the application imagining you are at your worst. I struggle with that concept for people like us, since “worst” means in hospital needing nebulisers etc. But those events are hopefully not too often. Your local Citizens Advice should have someone who might help you complete the form. I have wondered about making a claim for myself, I am certainly not able to work currently. There is a benefit called ESA too, I don’t know much about it though. If my hubby is made redundant I might have to go down that route.

[mylungshateme in reply to MMBJI]

Aww thanks lovely sorry I know it was a personal question. It's just this is all new to me. Last year things were getting harder but I never imagined I would be struggling with day to day because of asthma and just wondering what do other people do financially when they have jobs and want to work but the breathing just doesn't allow it. There must be something it's taken alot for me to even consider pip as I'm sure the same for most but working is making me ill as with you. And like you I'm telling myself it's just a short term thing once I'm on biologics I'll get my life back and return to normal... for now I'll settle just walking up the stairs or a little walk with baby without feeling I'm running out of air! Lol. I really hope your husbands job is ok you could really do without that added stress!!! 😱🤪 x