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Shielding but sending children to school???

JustR profile image
22 Replies

What are peoples thoughts for those who are shielding again and have children attending school?

My children have been back since September at school and I’ve not kept them off at all whilst shielding even back in November.

I’m feeling more nervous this time around sending back after the Christmas break..not sure if it’s just down to it being hyped up in the media or if we should be more concerned about this new strain?

Has anyone made the decision to keep their children off school?

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JustR profile image
JustR
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22 Replies
twinkly29 profile image
twinkly29

Technically children of those shielding should be at school. I know you know that as you've been doing it but am saying it in the context of where you stand if you don't send them in.

That aside, my view (as someone who hasn't got children but have seen through others the impact of children being off long-term in the first lockdown, children of age 2 up to teenagers) is that it can be so detrimental. I don't mean the actual learning side (and I say that as a teacher) but the self confidence, social, emotional side of things.

However, it is hard with risk. It's difficult to know actual risk and it's even more difficult when pretty much everything in the media is hype, whatever they're talking about. Politicians don't help either. Whichever side, they say (shout) the opposite because it's the opposite. Like today demands for a national lockdown within 24 hours. For goodness sake the tier 4 stuff is only just going to be showing an impact from now. Arghh. Stop changing things every 5 minutes.

Anyway enough ranting. What I've said probably doesn't help at all. I think you can only do what you feel is right. Do you have leeway, are you in an area where schools opening is delayed?

P.s. am I right in thinking you may well have had Covid? Or your husband did? In that case you've pretty recently been exposed to it anyway so presumably would have some immunity from it for now? I know immunity afterwards isn't a guaranteed thing but I suspect it's likely for a while afterwards.

JustR profile image
JustR in reply totwinkly29

Hi..I don’t mind the ranting at all..it’s probably everything I wanted to say too..lol

I totally agree with the need for the children to be in school, it was awful the first lockdown and to be confined to the house and garden was very tough for my two. It’s probably a mixture of having spent the Christmas holidays safe and well at home and now the thought of them going back to potential exposure is real again. I’m sure I’ll feel ok once we’ve got through the week.

I’m in the East Midlands so rates are ok..

Our local rates are ok too, I suppose the next few weeks will be crucial?

You are right, my husband tested positive in October and I’m quite sure I had it too..but test was negative.

I think I’ve definitely experienced post covid over the last 8weeks as it feels like my body/asthma is recovering from something..it’s all so🤯

Let’s keep our fingers crossed the vaccination is rolled out quick now we have two going🤞

Emzcat41 profile image
Emzcat41 in reply toJustR

I totally understand where you are coming from- I am really struggling with what to do and am also in the Midlands (Nottingham but attend uni in Derby) .

Uni is remote for me now so that risk is removed and my 3 children at senior school (year 11, 10 and 7) are due back in a week and 2 weeks respectively. My youngest is in primary year 6 and I’m expected to send her back Tuesday. I’m torn but leaning towards keeping her off also - I can’t warrant risking one but not the other 3. Not with the new strain and massively rising numbers.

I wasn’t asthmatic at the start of lockdown and I’m now uncontrolled - my 14 year has type 1 diabetes too so we are both CV. It’s bloody hard.

All 4 have struggled from the first lockdown and I 100% believe they are better in school , for many reasons, than home learning. However I can’t risk their physical health. It’s very very hard so you aren’t alone lovely xxx

JustR profile image
JustR in reply toEmzcat41

It’s such a hard decision and I really understand why you keep them all at home for now. My two are twins Yr2 primary and luckily in the same class.

We’ve had a teacher test positive in oct and believe that’s how my husband contracted it as we’ve both been shielding.

The midlands rates will increase I’m sure and it’s such a catch 22 that we have to wait until rates get really really bad before decisions are made!

Sorry to hear your asthma has been uncontrolled. Mine has been hard to manage too throughout lockdown and it’s just a long time now for us to have gone through shielding and living in fear too.

twinkly29 profile image
twinkly29 in reply toJustR

If it helps you sound really sensible and level headed - and not fixated on the dramatics of others or the media hype. So if we could all get some real info too that would help....!

But seriously, it sounds like whatever you decide (and even if they go back initially, you can always change your mind at any time) will be based on sensible thoughts.

For many areas, things aren't dissimilar to before, ok rates a big higher but not out of control. Which to me is like in Nov when a lot of people were alarmed because it was called lockdown....but actually the situation in their areas wasn't any different to the previous week when it just had a different name. Obviously as you say things can and will change. I'd like it all to go away now!

JustR profile image
JustR in reply totwinkly29

Yeah I’m trying to keep my positive head on and think of the benefits to my children for sending them back..although I’m sure they wouldn’t mind being off school!

School have been really good and understand the situation. I access picking them up away from the crowds of parents who don’t take social distancing very seriously..lol

I’m going to see how the first week goes and keep my fingers crossed they all get on ok..

I just want life to get back to some normality for us all🤞

Melanie1989 profile image
Melanie1989

My children are going back Tuesday, although half the primary schools in my area are not opening.. This is just giving mixed messages and I think it should be all or nothing!

I have been shielding but will send my children in if schools are open. I am on the fence on the government decisions. I am not worried about them catching covid as I know evidence shows they are unlikely to suffer serious symptoms, but more on who they will spread it to. My sanity however is relieved they are going back as I am not sure I can handle more home learning 🤣

I definetly think it is an individual decision and you need to weigh up your own circumstances. Maybe discuss with your childrens school and see what they say.

JustR profile image
JustR in reply toMelanie1989

I’ve just heard that our local council is backing schools that don’t want to open. Your right..It’s such a mixed message and that doesn’t help the situation at all.

I’m not concerned for the children either, it’s just the possibility of bringing it home.

I’m going to stay positive and try and get through the week as best as possible..I’m with you on the home learning..I’m no teacher🙈

Emzcat41 profile image
Emzcat41 in reply toJustR

Is that Nottingham city ? Please say yes lol x

JustR profile image
JustR in reply toEmzcat41

I read on sky news Derbyshire? Our school will open tomorrow from what they have communicated today😬x

MMBJI profile image
MMBJI

It’s so difficult isn’t it? I am not sure that I can help much but just wanted to share our situation, you are not alone!

I am CEV, husband can work from home. We have 3 children. (Twins in year 4 and a 19 yr old with learning difficulties.)

We have all shielded since March. The children have lost their school places. We were given the choice of paying fines for non-attendance (despite providing a full-time distance learning,) or “electively “ home educating. We chose the latter.

I have severe, uncontrolled asthma, I use my reliever repeatedly throughout each day and my breathing never feels easy. It seems silly to risk adding C-19 to that, to us.

We are very fortunate to have the space and resources to be able to provide a home education for our 3. I am trying to keep it similar to school as we intend to re-enrol the children once this is over. I wish I could do it all in a more home-Ed style, but want to make the transition back to formal education as easy as possible for them.

They are all quite happy, occasionally mention missing friends, so we Zoom them.

We all just have to weigh up the risks and benefits of our own circumstances and do our best with what we have.

I hope you find your solution.

JustR profile image
JustR in reply toMMBJI

Thanks for sharing, it really does help to know what families are going through in this crazy situation we find ourselves in.

I can imagine taking the children out of school was a tough decision and you did what was right for you and your family.

Looks like Borris made my decision for me today with the announcement of school closures.

Take care and stay safe x

N972 profile image
N972

I’m a shielding secondary teacher. My daughter (13) will go back to school. I’ve only managed to return for 2 weeks since March due to restrictions, but she’s been there throughout. That said- we have v strict routines to help her feel like if I got it she’d done everything to help prevent it- which was her major concern. My consultant was fab at offering her strategies. So, box by the door for her keys & she wipes these & door handle with bleach wipes which also live in box as soon as she gets in. Then she washes hands, strips in front of washing machine, closes door, starts it, then showers. She unpacks her school bag, washes lunchbox, etc. It only works because she’s of an age to manage it all. School is essential- but what I feel the media are missing when they talk about mental health of young people (which is ironically what I teach) is that the responsibility these children feel for their CEV relatives is also a huge strain on them that we all need to be aware of. They’re scared of passing it on. Her school know that she is effectively taking on the workload of a young carer due to this and have been fantastic.

mylungshateme profile image
mylungshateme in reply toN972

It's so so difficult isn't it? Your right though when they are older there are different strategies you can implement we too do what you do at front door and downstairs loo is decontamination area etc etc.

Sounds over the top for some but as you say it's a huge responsibility for our older children in society, my eldest is 18 and at college and has to use public transport to get there and back. Not only is this age group slated for spreading but has to use a bus she was terrified she'd catch it and I would die.

On her days off she has a front line job again she was terrified, the first lockdown she shielded with me in fear. But were trying to make things normal to maintain her mental health as carrying that pressure around is huge!! So it's a case of reinforcing reducing risk, and hope for the best and if I do get it it's not her fault I could have got it anywhere.

Now with my 2yr old different story but I was torn about him going back to nursery today but decided to do it as they need that interaction with others and he loves it, but if I feel the risk increases I may change my mind. X

JustR profile image
JustR in reply toN972

I can imagine it’s been really challenging for you all and it sounds like you’ve been really careful in reducing the potential risk. You must be super proud of your daughter. Let’s keep our fingers crossed we don’t have to shield for too long.

Take care and Stay safe.

Itswonderful profile image
Itswonderful

Hi JustR. It looks like there’s news coming soon that secondary schools may not open as planned but we will have to wait and see about that. The evidence says that the new variant is more easily transmissible and this includes senior school age children as well as between adults. Personally, I think that teachers and school staff should be up there with care and NHS workers in being offered the vaccine. Many staff are CV, CEV or live with people who are and the stress of trying to reduce the risk is enormous. Although Boris Johnson has said that teachers are at no more risk than anyone else from catching the virus, I do not believe this is the case. Most people wear masks in indoor spaces that are in public places and are not in the same place for whole days, 5 days a week. I really think that with the vaccine in plain sight, keeping children at home, and not mixing with other children, for a short period will reduce the spread of this new variant and therefore take some pressure of our NHS which is becoming overwhelmed with Covid patients, is the right thing to do. The NHS staff are tired and worn down by this pandemic and we cannot keep piling more on top of them. Staff are not immune from illness and staff numbers will be depleted by sickness if we do not look after them. It is all very well having the new Nightingale Hospitals, but who the heck is going to staff them? There is also the case that children and young people will be worried about taking the virus home to parents and relatives who themselves may not have perfect health. The stress carried by children who are worried about this cannot be underestimated. Many of them will not talk about it to parents because they do. It want to worry them. Children can and do catch up with learning. Technology allows them to be be in touch and see teachers and each other whilst we get to grips with rolling out the vaccine. There are also many things that children can learn at home that are not based on league table results. Vulnerable children and children of key workers can still go into schools as they did in the first lockdown. Yes the media love to blow up facts but go back to source and find out for yourself how much the media have sensationalised the current situation. I think if you have school age children it is very difficult an anxiety provoking. Hopefully Boris Johnson will speak to us very soon about the planned further restrictions and this will help you with your dilemma. My children are grown up with their own children now. Luckily they are not at school as they are not old enough but one of the parents is a teacher and I can only imagine the conflict that she would face if her daughter was school age. Btw, my husband is a teacher and I am shielding. I have not seen my family since August and that was at a distance in a garden and before that it was March. I have not held my granddaughter since March when she was a few weeks old. Me and my husband have to socially distance inside our own home when he is at work. The stress on us alone is great but not as great as if we had school age children. It is a terrible situation for you to be in. I hope the government does indeed follow the science.

JustR profile image
JustR in reply toItswonderful

I really feel for NHS staff, we just can’t thank them enough for what they are doing.

Teachers have also played a huge part in putting themselves at risk so that children can could continue to go to school.

Let’s hope this lockdown is the last and that the vaccine starts to roll out quicker.

It’s very sad to hear you’ve not been able to see your family and hold your granddaughter..family is everything..

Take care and stay safe.

JustR profile image
JustR

Well Borris finally went and made a decision!..looks like it’s homeschooling for sometime..and I’m actually feeling a sigh of relief in some ways..I know my children will miss the interaction and benefits of being at school but I can now take a breath and know we will be home and safe for now.

Take care everyone and good luck in your new job as teachers😉x

Emzcat41 profile image
Emzcat41 in reply toJustR

Me too - it takes it out our hands.. now I can stress about the chaos of supporting them at home lol

Good luck everyone - keep smiling x

mylungshateme profile image
mylungshateme

Well that solves that. Even though nurseries are staying open going to take baby out. And back to formal shielding for me!! X

Emzcat41 profile image
Emzcat41 in reply tomylungshateme

Keep safe x

mylungshateme profile image
mylungshateme in reply toEmzcat41

And you lovely. X

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