I have often wanted to share these aspects of my own illness in 1988. I wondered if anyone else had similar delusions and experiences that they can also share. Early on before I was sectioned and diagnosed I thought I had won the lottery in the Today newspaper we were coming into a great fortune. I also thought there was a stream of people at the front door wanting to come and see me and I kept going to open the door and looking out - there was no one. As the days progressed I thought I had supernatural powers for healing, communicating with my daughter in a psychic way and at one point thought perhaps I was Mary and the baby was Jesus. I was hallucinating dead relatives and was sure I was going to die if I slept. I was obsessed with heaven and hell and a place of judgement. On good days I wanted to wear white and on bad days it was black. During the illness in the psychiatric unit I was convinced I was actually in hell. As the illness continued I thought I was God and was quite comfortable telling my psychiatrist and CPN. I thought the Queen wanted to meet me and also that President Reagan from the United States wanted to hear from me. At one point I thought I was in hospital because there had been a major catastrophe in the area and I was needed for the collection of breast milk to feed the babies. I can smile about this now but at the time it felt so real. I just am interested to hear if anyone else had similar thoughts.
Last edited by andrea_at_app
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