This post isn't factual, it's just me expressing some thoughts on the delusions I had when I had PPP.
I've never been christened or been to church but when I was psychotic I truly believed I was God and my daughter was an angel.
Also when I was sectioned it was literally my idea of hell. All of my fears were in there and I just kept telling myself I had to do it for my daughter. I remember them showing me a padded room with a round window and a nurse said if i didnt go to my room and sleep i'd have to go in there. But when i went to my room it felt like i was giving up trying to get my daughter and they were winning (plus the mania wouldnt let me sleep). As time went on my belly hurt for her, a part of me was missing and i couldnt give up. I had to do something, it felt like i was being tested, or like i was in a game. I ended up in that room being pinned down by 6 staff and injected 4 times but i felt stronger and more determined than ever.
I feel that in the eyes of the staff, my family and people who dont have any insight into this may feel I am crazy to think this but it feels like I had to pass a test of my own inner strength to become who i am now. I am proud of myself and know i am a worthy mother to my beautiful daughter. I could take on anything for her safety and happiness, thats the only thing I'm sure of in this world.
Does anybody else feel somewhat awakened by the experience? Like a higher power was giving us an insight when we were at a real low point, confused and 'insane'?
Has anybody else felt anything similar to this? And how did the religious delusions make you feel afterwards?