Hello. We had our first child on 10/11/12. Delivery was traumatic (emergency c section, 3 litre loss of blood). But he is a wonder and doing well. However, my wife has had a number of what we now know to be psychotic episodes. Eventually on 19/11/12 she was admitted to a mother and baby unit after a trip to A&E to see a psychiatrist who a few days after our son was born suggested she may have PP (now confirmed). The last two weeks have easily been the toughest of my life. There are silver linings - like our son who is brilliant - but my wife is a huge way from being herself and to say that it is distressing is an understatement.
Obviously i want to visit the MBU as much as possible to see them (only not going if there are work things i can't avoid). But my question is really about how i should behave when i'm there? How much should i be talking to her? What things can i say (if anything) to alleviate her anxiety (the main problem) and the delusions (e.g. her belief that she is hallucinating and i'm not really there in front of her, when in fact of course i am)? When she is becoming concerned/delusional about things (e.g. she has an obsession with our son's "red book" which she believes has been filled in incorrectly, and she worries his details will get mixed up with others etc), what sort of thing should i say? Should i try to reassure her that everything's fine (which she often does not accept) or something else?
I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact that after probably the happiest 9 months of our lives, we have been hit by a freight train. I miss my wife's normal self terribly and it's truly truly awful seeing her in the state she is in much of the time. Sometimes i struggle to believe that i will survive this with my sanity, let alone her. I know she is in the right place and the doctors are marvellous, but i don't want to miss anything out that i could be doing to help.
Many thanks in advance