What do partners need support with during an episode of PP?

[jess_at_app]

We'd like to know about partners' experience of PP. What do women and men feel that partners struggle with during an episode of PP. What can be done to help? What advice would you give to partners to help them get through the experience?

[andrea_at_app Volunteer]

My hubby had to take on most of the household chores when I was ill, so definitely practical support, cooking, shopping, cleaning etc. Also, support them to make time for themselves & get away from the house (without feeling guilty) & to chat with their friends & offload if they need to. My husband found that going to work & having time away from all the PP stresses was actually his sanctuary. He also says he felt pretty much in the dark all through it about what was happening/going to happen with my treatment, so I think communicating directly with them & making sure they're informed is really important. And lastly, give them lots of reassurance that it's temporary, his partner will get better & be just as she was before & that they're heroes for hanging in there!

[Nic_at_APP]

I would totally agree with what Andrea has said above. I think an acurate and comprehensive understanding of the illness and how the pathway to recovery will pan out is absolutely vital for partners. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes it may take a while to get there. I think men are usually good at the practical stuff and helping out around the house and with the needs of the baby is invaluable to a poorly mum and will help with her recovery. Also getting friends to help with some social pleasure for both parties is great, for example, maybe the girls having a pamper evening at home whilst the boys go out for a beer or two? Anything to help to keep everyone going through this process is good!

[Simon_at_APP APP]

From my view? we like to fix and feel in control of things! unfortunately this is one illness that you have absolutely no control of.

There was very little info around when my wife suffered with pp, it was our first child and we didn't have that much family living close by, so not only was I trying to come to terms with being a dad for the first time but within a few weeks I was suddenly faced with very strange things happening to my wife.

So a few areas - information, so you can get some understanding of what's going on; 'what to say' and more importantly 'what not to say' and how to get proper help, i.e. crisis teams, Mother & Baby units, but it's equally important to ensure that as many professionals know about this illness, the signs, etc.

A really good and understanding support network around; luckily the family rallied around and helped with caring for our little one and helping with meals, etc. all the things we take for granted in normal life, whilst I tried to look after my wife. Plus as mentioned above, you need time away from it all, a good understanding mate to come around and take you out, even for just an hour or two.

Once both wife and child finally got a place in a Mother & Baby unit, the little things of a friend just phoning up and asking me if I needed any shopping, or popping over for a quick chat and asking about all of us, just sticks in my mind as a nice moment, somebody had thought about how I was feeling and what I was having to deal with through all this. I never kept it under wraps either, I'd talk to people if they asked how we were all getting on, not in-depth just the overview...