Thinking about a second baby after PPP with my first

[Creativeyellow]

Hello! I'm wondering if others can share any experiences of having a second baby after experiencing Postpartum Psychosis with their first?

I have Bipolar, I was diagnosed whilst on the MBU with my daughter, during PPP too. I was there three weeks but I felt like the whole first year of my daughter's life was stolen in a way. So many blurred memories. In the depths of depression which somehow was missed from my mental health team, after the PPP episode.

I am with a new partner now, after splitting up with my daughters dad a few years ago. Its still fairly early days with my partner but we have talks about the future, he said he would love to do everything with me, marriage, a baby, etc. And I would love to with him too!

But I have a fear of getting unwell again, and this time seems more of a risk due to having my daughter who would see me like it too. I would hate to put her through that.

And if I would cope with two.

But I loved pregnancy! I found it so empowering, I was lucky to be well throughout, despite my daughter making an early six week arrival. I would do that whole part again without a second thought. Its postpartum that scares me the most. The what if questions.

I would love to give my daughter a sibling too though, she talks about wanting a brother or sister and loves babies! I think she'd be the best big sister ☺️

My partner is so supportive and lovely. We talk about everything and anything. He has suffered with mental illness difficulties in the past and says he would be by my side no matter what. And the loveliest part, I really do feel like I am in love this time round, and it's reciprocated. He is six years older than me (he's 34) and doesn't have children of his own, but says he would love to. And I think he'd be a wonderful dad.

I guess it's just the unknown I'm worried of, but what I do know is that I'm proof that if things did go wrong again, recovery is possible , support is out there, and it might even be a healing process!

I have weekly psychotherapy sessions, and I'm awaiting some EDMR therapy too. I'm tempted to contact the local Perinatal mental health team again, see if they have any advice for preconception anxiety after PPP?

Thanks for reading x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Creativeyellow,

welcome to the APP forum. I am so sorry that you suffered with Postpartum Psychosis, thank you for trusting everyone here with your story and natural anxiety when thinking of having a second baby. I did not suffer PP myself, my daughter did, I know that you will have helpful replies from the brave amazing Mums here, kindly willing to share their lived experiences. My daughter is well and did go on to have a second baby almost four years after her first. I know that she and her husband thought long and hard and consulted their GP and a Psychiatrist. A difficult decision made they, along medical professionals made a comprehensive care plan, as part of their plan my daughter stayed in hospital for a week after the birth and was on medication, she did not have a recurrence. Of course everyone is different, understandably not everyone feels able to have another child after PP, it can only be your decision. You are brave, sensibly giving lots of thought and consulting with medics, lovely to know that you are a happy little family together and that your partner is so supportive. I hope you have other kind, supportive family and friends. Also I wonder if you have seen the helpful Insider Guides on the APP website.

Good luck and wishing you well whatever you decide.

Judith xx

[Creativeyellow in reply to NanaJudith_APP_Vol]

Thank you for your lovely reply Judith! 😊 I'm glad to read your daughter is well and didn't relapse the second time around. Yes I think advice from professionals is definitely what I will get, I will ask my GP about the perinatal preconception referal route as my perinatal team were so lovely last time and said to come back before I was trying if I was to have another 😊

I do have a close knit support bubble in my mum, partner and a friend too that I can speak to!

Thanks Judith xx

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP]

Hello CreativeYellow,

I’m glad you’ve found this forum, you’re in the right place and your question is one that’s posed by many having experienced PP with their first baby, including myself. I’m really sorry that you had PP, it’s a horrid illness, but I’m glad you’re in a better place by the sound of it. I hope you find EMDR helpful. Your partner sounds lovely, and it’s great you’re open with them and they’re hopefully a great listener and sounding board by the sound of it.

I was very poorly back in 2016 and, like you, had a short admission to an MBU, accessed medication and subsequently had a full recovery from PP. That’s a very “shortened” version! As my recovery was long, challenging and felt up and down as many other mums also experience too.

After much deliberation, we actually accessed pre-conception advice prior to even deciding if we would like to try and grow our family. We accessed that by visiting our GP, then being referred onto the Perinatal Mental Health Team (like the team that supported you by the sound of it).

We met a great doctor, who we took our trolly FULL of questions to. It was invaluable to have the time and space to talk things through. Very helpful for both me and my husband.

Following my doctor’s suggestion I then accessed counselling which, again, was extremely helpful. I think I’d been focusing solely on getting better, and being Mummy - that I’d never accounted for supporting myself to properly try to recovery / or somehow come to terms with the trauma of what had happened.

We subsequently did have a second child, a second beauty of a little human to match my first - both of whom I am EXTREMELY grateful for. They’re now 7 and 3.

I accessed pre-conception advice and then subsequently had the support of the Specialist Perinatal Mental Health Team, a psychiatrist and specialist consultant at the hospital. At times it felt like an army of people were involved, quite right too as we were considered high risk and therefore I just accepted and welcomed the help. I took a preventative anti-psychotic from approx 34 weeks. Planned for a five day stay in hospital following the baby arriving which was (whilst very daunting) hugely beneficial.

Not long after the birth I started to display some warning signs of PP symptoms, and so my medication was increased sharpish. Again, very fortunate to have been in hospital supported and monitored so kindly and closely during this time. It also meant that my eldest was at home, continuing their routine and I needn’t hold the worry just then of the risk of being poorly at home.

I didn’t have a second episode, but I do think it was extremely likely, if not certainly would have happened had it not been for the above I mentioned.

There is help and information from the charity I’m very lucky to now work for ‘Action on Postpartum Psychosis’ including:

- Insider Guide Planning Second Pregnancy app-network.org/wp-content/...

- Peer Support which might be helpful too: app-network.org/get-help/pe...

There is no right or wrong answer on whether to have further children. As you know it’s a very personal decision anyway, but with layering on our experience of PP it can feel like a lot of painful (at times maybe) jumble of treacle contemplating such a thing. Do continue to ask questions here if it helps, you’re amongst a wonderful group here who are only too happy to share this space with you.

Take care, Rachel x

[Irishgirl1710 Volunteer]

Hello and welcome

You've been given lots of great information so far and it does sound like your support network is robust :).

You would need to consider a plan for your existing child were you to be hospitalised. This was one of my concerns when I was expecting my second child. You may also want yo consider explaining the possibility of illness to your child. I told my son I'd had a poorly brain

I did not experience psychosis following her birth and have remained well.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi Creativeyellow,

You've had some really great replies already and I hope you find the information and shared experiences helpful

I went on to have a second son after having PP with my first (who will very soon be 12, my youngest is 8). There wasn't a perinatal mental health team in my area at the time and I wasn't under a mental health team anymore so I accessed the second opinion service at Cardiff University and talked through my PP experience and all the risks with the wonderful Prof Ian Jones. It's brilliant that there are now perinatal mental health teams in most areas of the UK and accessing pre-conception counselling is a really good first step.

Once pregnant, I did see a mental health nurse later on in my pregnancy and she helped me to put plans in place, including an advance directive where I set out my wishes and preferences should I become unwell again. This helped me to think through various things, including plans for my older son which I know was my main concern too.

It's great to hear that you have such good support around you - having that knowledge and support in place really did make an enormous difference to me, as did the simple fact I'd had a baby before and everything wasn't all completely new. As others have said though, it's such a personal decision and everyone has to make the decision that's right for them and their family

If you'd be interested in 1:1 peer support at any stage too, do get in touch - Rachel has given the link above 💜

Wishing you all the best,

Jenny x

[yougotthis1 Volunteer]

Hi Creativeyellow ,

It’s so wonderful to hear you’re considering another child after PP. You already have some fantastic replies, but I just wanted to add that your local perinatal mental health team should be able to offer you a preconception service, so it would definitely be worth getting in touch with them.

Hope that helps x