battling massive anxiety

[greta90]

hi everyone

I finally have some courage to write as I’m really struggling and wondering if anyone has been through it as well.

I had PP last year after my lovely daughter was born and spend a month in MBU and I’m on the slowly road to recovery ever since . I’m still on medication (Apriprazole) and had some counselling which is now ended. I’m not back at work and I’m really struggling with anxiety my hands shaking often and is hard to do my job . Has anyone experienced it or is it just me ? I’d love to feel normal again will I ever feel normal again ?

[Anna_10]

Hi greta90,

So sorry to hear your battling with anxiety. It sounds horrid. Did you ever have any anxiety episodes before your daughter? I had pp in 2013 after the birth of my daughter. I never had any mental health problems before & it all came out if the blue. Was such a shock to all my family too. I also had episodes of anxiety & depression since 2013. It was a massive roller coaster ride. I had various help, medication, cbt, counselling to mention a few. I think time is also the biggest healer. I do wish you the best and please keep in touch on here. Take care & kind regards, Anna xx

[greta90 in reply to Anna_10]

hi Anna thank you for your replay.

I’m like just you never ever suffered any mental health problem before so it was massive shock when I fell ill . I think I’ll speak to my doctor and see what he said regarding my anxiety maybe some medication can help . Are you feeling better now ? Take care

[Lion88]

Hello Greta90,

Nice to meet you here! I am also so sorry to hear that anxiety bothers you so much. It is very difficult to function with it, I can totally relate to it.

I had my PP last year in October after my son was born. Just like you and Anna_10, I had never had any mental problems before the birth, so it was really difficult to accept that such a thing could happen to me... My son is almost 9 months now. I stopped medication a month ago however I still do not feel like my old self. I also have anxiety sometimes, and I lost all self-condifence... I am considering to re-start working soon. I think it might help to start going out, seeing other people, working. Have you considered to re-start working again?

Take care, and all the best wishes for you. Sophia

[greta90 in reply to Lion88]

thank you Sophia

I’m sorry that you also had to go through this . It’s amazing that you are coping without medication . I’m back at work now and although first few weeks were fine but now really started to struggle with my anxiety . I’ll have to see my GP and speak about that hoping to maybe can some medication to help with anxiety xx

[Lion88 in reply to greta90]

Hello Greta90, thank you for you message! It is great that you have re-started working. It is not easy at all after what we have been through. I hope that you find the right medication with your doctor to help with anxiety. Stay strong and take care of yourself. We will get throught it! Big hug, kindly Sophia

[YellowBanana09]

I’m so sorry you’re having such high anxiety greta90, it’s very tiring and difficult - I had the same after having PP in 2019. Found it difficult to leave the house, panic attacks, shaking hands, feeing like I can’t breathe and always on high alert.

Can you try going to the gp? I have had high anxiety in ebbs and flows ever since, sometimes I wonder if becoming a mother makes you more prone to it! But it’s definitely much much less now - time going by and being kind to yourself I think has got me here.

I found the calm app really helps me, especially the breathing exercises and to distract a busy mind. I had undiagnosed PTSD from my PP experience and EMDR therapy definitely has helped me and calmed my anxiety.

What do you enjoy doing? What calms you? Maybe try to weave a little more me time into your day - easier said than done I know!

I really hope you feel better soon, take care xxx

[SammySeal]

Hi Greta90

Thank you for sharing your question, I know it can be hard. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, and sorry to hear about your PP and now your anxiety issues.

I had PP back in 2008 followed by bad depression, then after my second child in 2013 I didn't have any PP and was fine, apart from anxiety which I've had ever since. It's the physical symptoms on anxiety that get on my nerves the most. I'll be minding my own business, not actively thinking or 'worrying' about anything, then my heart will go crazy like I've just run for a bus, or my hands will start shaking. Sometimes would wake me up in the night.

For me, medication for depression and anxiety has worked really well. I do get some break through symptoms, but nowhere near what it used to be like. I also find that purposely getting my heart racing with exercise seems to help dampen down the anxiety symptoms, or at least I can't tell which is which!

I'd say to speak to your medical professional, as you might need a change in medication. As for feeling normal again, it depends on what's normal for you, but for me I think just having a child/children means I'll never be quite the same again. Any big thing like that changes you in some ways, good and bad, never mind having something like PP etc. I'm not the same as I was but overall feel proud of myself for getting through it and still being here, and if I need medicine then that's fine by me. Loads of people need medicine for all kinds of things.

Keep chatting on here if it helps, it's good to share and compare notes

Take care

Sammy x

[Zebunisa_at_APP Moderator]

Hi greta90 ,

I too once I recovered from my pp episode had anxiety and depression. I was pacing around non-stop due to how anxious I was and with medication I became well again.

I’d say discuss your anxiety/symptoms with your GP, be as honest as possible and hopefully they will offer some solutions for you whether that be medication, counselling or another solution.

I hope with time you feel better. Please feel free to write in here and update us and/or ask for any advice you need. We are here for you 💙

[Arabella-]

Hi Greta,

I had massive anxiety before and after I had PP with the birth of my first child (I now have three). I used to burst into hysterical crying if my mum suggested taking my daughter out when it was hot as I was afraid she’d die. It’s so upsetting, having anxiety. Small things become disproportionately big and scary. Well done you for hanging on in there, it’s so distressing.

I found that medication and time sorted me out. I think I still have some anxiety now but manage it.

I enjoy my children and life and you will too. Just think of this phase as a small bubble that’s tricky, that you will overcome.

Sending love xx

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Greta,

pleased to meet you on here. It is a beautiful name...

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

In general I just can say that whilst recovering from such a traumatising illness most of the women on this site will have had experiences with fear and anxiety combined with panic attacks.

I have had all aspects of "fight, flight or freeze situations" as survival mechanism. Recovery will help you to increase your self esteem and confidence when practicing life and living routine at your pace and covering your needs. Re-gaining skills in stepping stones.

My type of anxiety was diagnosed as social and agora phobia after PPP via my GP at the time. Yet, I still can not cope with crowds nor can I socially interact when together with 3 or more people, depending on my mood swings. I believe PPP triggered anxiety, and it is part of my BP spectrum.

what has helped me to cope with anxiety:

- identifying triggers and developing a tool kit of therapeutic skills

- meditation and mindfulness of breathing

- reducing stressors and learning to say NO/ creating a buffer zone such as saying "I can not deal with that right now, I need to have some time to think about it"

- learning not to please everybody nor fulfilling other peoples expectations: mission impossible!

- finding time for self care and self reflection: be kind and loving to yourself

- in my case regular yoga, self-reiki, gardening and art

- talking therapy and finding ways to combat fear whether it is exposure therapy or practicing and scaffolding skills (I had to practice going to the super market, walking on pavements amongst people, being able to sit in a pub and lots more). In the first few years I have had professional help such as group therapy, a support worker and care coordinator

One has to be so patient and leave without any deadlines, objectives have to become achievable goals and all in stepping stones.

CBD has helped me to reduce anxiety and stopped my insomnia, which I suffered from for 8 years.

Wishing you well,-lots of women will resonate with anxiety issues. x

[Maria_at_APP Moderator in reply to Pikorua]

So beautifully written!

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello greta90

Just wondering how you are coping with your anxiety and whether your GP has been able to signpost you to support. I think returning to work can be a challenge so try not to put too much pressure on yourself and take care 🌻