My wife has recently been discharged from the MBU and we've had our first few 'proper' days together with baby at home. Feels a bit like what would have been many, many weeks ago when baby arrived if the PPP hadn't taken over. Mum is doing really well with baby but we are taking things day-by-day, hour-by-hour if needs be and being extremely careful with over-stimulation and introducing new things too soon.
The elephant in the corner is me returning to work. The thought of this makes my wife fearful. Primarily of having to do things for herself and that feeling of not knowing what to do if a particular situation arises. In all honesty, it is the main thing that is bothering me too.
I've been off work since the PPP started (far too much going on) and due to return within the next few weeks.
Does anyone have any hints and tips or their own experiences of them/their partners returning to work and the best way to approach it?
Written by
reg64
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I'm glad to hear mum and baby are doing well, but you are right it is such early days. I remember being initially discharged from the MBU and feeling great because like you say, it's that time you should have had together without the PPP.
I completely understand your apprehension, I was really dreading my husband returning to work and honestly I didn't cope very well when he did. However, this did get much better with time and acceptance.
Here's a few tips that really helped us, so hopefully some of these might help;
1) Take as much time as you are able to without adding extra stress (e.g. financial), getting sick leave if you're able to etc. but I understand this is a difficult balance
2) Work from home wherever possible, or agree with your employer to have flexible working if possible so that you can be around for support - just knowing you are there or can be there when needed is a huge support
3) Have check-ins throughout the day in a way that suits you both and can be a routine if possible - e.g. call on a lunchtime or if this doesn't work just regular texts or voice notes reminding her you are there and thinking of them
4) Communicate well - if you need to do something out of routine e.g. stay late at work make sure you communicate as much as possible and as early as possible - this helps manage expectations and gives reassurance
5) Arrange other support if possible from family/ friends to give regular support. If this is not possible you could speak to your wife about Home-start to see if this is something you would both like to look into home-start.org.uk/
6) Try to do whatever you can when at home to help with household chores to take the pressure off that side of things to allow your wife to concentrate just on the baby.
7) Make sure the house is well stocked with all things your wife might need e.g. nappies etc. to reduce the need of going out of the house at this stage - I found going out quite daunting early in my recovery. Ultimately going out will be great for recovery, but I think this should be done in small steps.
8) Make sure your wife has the appropriate support in place e.g. a peer support worker etc. that she can turn to if you're unavailable or if she wants to talk to someone with first-hand experience.
9) Make sure you have any support in place you will need too as it's such a difficult time for the both of you.
I hope you find something in there that works for you both, but it has to be what works for you. Sending you both strength, you will get through this together and this network is always here for you.
10) Allow your life to practice doing things on her own whilst you are still there. For example, if you walk to the shops together, let her go in on her own with the baby whilst you are waiting outside. You can do this in little steps, building up to her walking to the shop on her own whilst you are at home, in case she feels she needs you.
It’s good to hear your wife has been discharged and is doing really well with baby. Such a relief to be home together.
It’s a difficult decision about returning to work. I remember being very anxious about my husband returning to work and coping on my own. Is it possible you could do a phased return, or even pop home for lunch, so that the day is not so long for your wife without your loving care and support?
I think the community team will be visiting during the day and perinatal mental health team offer support until your baby is one year? Perhaps further down the line you might leave the house for say half an hour, just to see how your wife copes, although I can imagine how hard this will be for you too.
I think in these early days, as you say, it’s best to keep everything calm. So you might be more up to approaching talking about returning to work with your wife when you have built a support network around her for when you are not at home.
If you can see your post on the forum page, the first Related Post in the right side column “Partner returning to work” is from a dad and the replies there might be helpful.
Best wishes to you and your family in the comfort of home.
I’m so pleased to hear you’re settling into life at home and it sounds like you are all managing this extremely well .
Whilst I didn’t have pp, I was very unwell with pni . My health visitor recommended a charity called Hone Start . A volunteer visited me once a week and that time was for me to do whatever I needed - it could have been for talking, practical help with baby or other household chores, shopping etc. maybe something like that would help your wife?
a gradual build up, doing things by herself, could help. For example, this could be with you simply in an other room in the house for an hour, build up slowly. And get as much help (even if simply companionship) from family and friends.
Investigate if there are any friendly mum and baby groups. You can go together at first? Might feel too much still though
So good to hear that the first few days are going well, you are all settling back in to being at home.
We found ourselves in the same situation regarding work when this happened to us in 2016. I can put myself in your wife’s shoes and appreciate her tears, I found I was deeply anxious coming home and found interactions with anyone outside the tight circle of my support unit ( family , friends and my husband ) very daunting indeed. PP took away my confidence at the time. The thing to remember right now is she will get better and you are doing so much to support her and your newborn. Sounds like you are a real team.
Talking to my husband recently and reflecting back, his regret is going back himself too soon. At the time he and we all felt, it was the best thing for him to get back to work and back to ‘normal’. Once he was back in the office things were back to normal in the office because like any illness you are either off or back and other people whilst they try forget very quickly to cut any slack. Ultimately in hindsight it was too soon and he was himself quite fragile.
What we hadn’t considered is you have all been impacted as a family and need time to heal. My husband probably needed longer himself to recover before jumping back in to his full time job but the focus was all on me getting better really.
Wishing you lots of luck as you navigate your recovery.
Hello, my name is Ellie. I'm one of APP's national peer support coordinators, and had pp in 2011 after the birth of my son.
I too found it hard transitioning back home, and then getting used to my partner being at work. Like others have said, I found it hard at times (and if I'm honest had to phone him to come home a few times, as I felt quite overwhelmed), but it was a good and important step to take as well, to build my confidence to be on my own with my son etc.
Others have write great replies and support, and ideas of how to cope, I don't think I'd have anything to add.
I wanted to make sure that you knew the other support and information we have for Dads and Co-parents. We have a Partners Facilitator, Simon, whose wife had PP, and he would really happily link with you, and can also link you with a Partners volunteer who has also been through PP. His email is: simon@app-network.org.
We also run a monthly group call for Dads and Co-parents, to support each other and share experience. Simon can add you to the mailing list for that.
And in case you haven't found it, here is some information and support for Dads and Co-parents on our website:
I remember that feeling too, my wife had pp and and spent about 12 weeks in the MBU, before coming home full time and we had about a week at home with each other before I had to go back to work, on one hand it was great for all of us to finally be at home together but it scared the hell out me to go back and my wife worried too.
My wife was able to get help from Home Start, who's volunteer came round once a week to help support my wife, chat, help with baby, go for a walk, etc. and in turn it helped re-build her confidence but also gave me a little time where I wasn't worried.
Close friends/family would also come round individually on different days through the week and have a tea, or go out for a walk and stop at a café, if she felt like it of course; it wasn't constant though and only when my wife wanted them to come round, there were times when she just wanted to take the day to herself and our little 'un... she wanted to be in control.
I was lucky to work fairly close to home and my work had been great allowing me to go if I needed to, but I only had a couple of times when she gave me a call but they were few and far between and the more time went by, the less the worry from both of us.
You may also be able to ask for a gradual return to work, maybe a couple of days to start and gradually increase it to a full time, it's worked well for some other partners I've spoken to.
To be honest I never really felt like I gave myself the right time to get over witnessing pp, I was focusing on helping my wife, just get through the crisis and then the recovery, being the 'strong one' for everybody and then once my wife had recovered I just kept on going on! It was only when I wrote about my experience a couple of years afterwards that it hit me.
It takes time but with every day confidence re-grows and the worries start to subside.
I work part time with Ellie at APP and she's already given our website partner info link. As also mentioned, we do have a monthly partner virtual meet on 3rd Wednesday on every month from 8pm to 9pm (it's a come and go as you please, with partners who have been there), no pressure, just email me if you want to be added to the reminder mail, or want to link up for a chat.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences and hints and tips. Some really useful pointers there and many things I can relate to.We've been trying to get into a routine and my wife to do things by herself (even since she was allowed home leave on the MBU). This has started off with things she's 'missed' (the simingly trivial like cooking or doing the washing) to the bigger things like practicing walking the dog and baby at the same time. We are building up to the things that she's more apprehensive about such as the first drive by herself and going out with baby to, say, a cafe. My wife has actually done remarkably well in this regard; I'm just hoping that we can cover most things and the confidence will be there, or there abouts, before I return to work. She's a very determined person but can put too much pressure on herself.
My wife is under the care of the perinatal team and she's keen to get involved in the groups they run, which will help. She's not ready yet for anymore than very close family/friends support on top of that as visitors are a particular point of over-stimulation. I will discuss Home Start with her though. Thank you for mentioning that as I wasn't ware of it.
I work quite far from home so can't pop back at lunchtime but would be there every evening and can do a couple of days working from home. The home working will help as people have mentioned and knowing us regular ad hoc communication will work best.
From my own perspective, I really don't want to rush back to work as (1) I want to be there for my wife and child and (2) this has been one of the only things in my life that has taken it out of me too. Picking up on what Nicholaba said, after the initial, "so sorry for what you've been through"; it's back to normal when things in my head/life, and most certainly my wife's, are far from normal.
you are such a thoughtful guy. All female and male partners, husbands and wives, need to be celebrated including those family and friends who have got inner strengths and can be part of a support network, when mums suffer such a traumatic illness-it certainly has its ripple effect!
You have had such fabulous post of many forum members and great links which will help you to move gently forward on the path of your wife's recovery.
It is so difficult to know how much space to give in order to develop independence so that skills can be developed and confidence is gained gradually. My partner was always there and I often panicked when he was out of side.
After 6 months he went back to work gradually. It was not easy, but I learnt to focus a lot on my son, and received support from my partner's parents. I attended play groups once or twice a week. Group therapy was extremely helpful. I had a health visitor for two years, who checked in regularly. My care coordinator, GP and Psychiatrist and partner helped me to work in stepping stones towards my goals via a care plan.
A very important goal was to reduce the traditional and very addictive meds, the only once I responded to with the help of the psychiatrist.
Communication is extremely important, but has to be managed thoughtfully and gently. My partner was extremely protective when I was so poorly. My brain was shut off for quite some time when acutely ill and when being home I was often not responsive till lunch time, because of drugs. Challenging times!
Please look after yourself. Allow yourself time out. I hope somebody else can step in, so you can pursue a hobby or spend some time with a good friend. If you can get support yourself help via health professionals, please take the opportunities such as informal chats, therapeutic sessions etc.
It is worthwhile to engage in opportunities of support through the union or occupational health at work. My partner has become such a great advocate of MH, because you learn life skills and compassion towards people, who are in crisis.
In addition I would like to highlight that life is full of ups and downs. Recovery can be affected on many levels and may cause additional strains. My recovery slowed down when I lost my dad and mum in law and for my partner it all sunk in when his dad got poorly. He had to take time out, because of PTS. He always is so brave, but self-care and self love takes priority in order to be able to gain inner strengths. My partner never stopped caring for me as I continued to struggle with mental health issues and finally was diagnosed with Bipolar.
Hi reg64, loads of supportive replies and good ideas that you are incorporating already. Taking it in stepping stones is so important, that's the way your wife and you can build on confidence. I just wanted to commend you on your empathy and how tuned in you are to your wife's feelings, you for sure make a great team.It is worth tapping into any possible source of help available, friends, family, organizations, recovery is a long process but your wife will get there, the mums on this forum are testimony of it. Take good care
It can be a difficult balance with work commitments but please make sure you feel ready to return. You are so in tune with your wife’s needs and it’s good to read that she is doing well, able to pace herself with your support.
Can you be referred to Occupational Health to have a plan in place for your return? It’s good that you will be able to work from home a few days a week.
Understandably your focus is on your treasured family but please take care and a little time out for yourself. My PP took its toll on my late husband and the tables were turned when I was visiting him in hospital, although this was many years ago.
I've asked for an OH referral this week as would be good to see what suggestions they have.That's also what I want to avoid. Probably burnout more than anything at this stage and I thrive on having 'me time' which even in her recovery state my wife understands.
Practice what you preach - put on your oxygen mask first.
I hope OH have some options for you this week to help your work life balance.
It’s an awful experience witnessing the effects of PP and navigating recovery at home with your wife and baby. So I’m glad you are self aware and have your ‘me time’ breaks to .... breathe.
Hi reg64, it is great to hear you are approaching your return to work with such a clear understanding of your own needs & the impact on your wife too. It is important to tune into that sense as you will be able to tell what is best for you and your family.
I had PPP in 2019 and my husband took unpaid time off work for a few months. He left his job because they were only willing to allow him 8 weeks of leave and I was still in hospital at that time. Eventually he needed to find another job & to start back full time in his new company. I found that period very tough, it coincided with weaning and a house move which was very overwhelming. I didn't appreciate I was sliding into postnatal depression at the time (and also had developed hypothyroidism which left me totally exhausted).
Looking back although I felt I shouldn't ask for more help & should do things on my own, I would have benefited from asking friends to come round regularly & also to have used HomeStart for some help. I was very fortunate to have a peer support mentor through APP and also excellent maternal mental health services in our new home.
It is wonderful that your wife is improving and it's great that you are going to be able to work from home some days. I wish you the very best with the transition.
Thanks for asking, things are far more settled for me now. My mental health had improved 1 year on from having my son, I went back to work gradually and now work full time, and my anxiety generally got better with medication, therapy and time. Being patient with healing is hard! I find it takes a lot of putting one foot in front of the other, and slowly healing happens on its own timescale (and it's not always linear). Wishing the very best for you & your family.
Hope you are navigating the week ok. Wanted to wish you luck with the conversations with work.
It’s not easy to navigate this all but so great you are aware of your own needs too and are balancing those with your wife’s needs. ‘Put your oxygen mask on first’ is a great reminder to keep giving yourself.
Everyone’s journey and recipe of what they need for recovery is different your awareness will help guide you through and when it doesn’t always ask for help.
I hope you have courage to be honest about your needs and your wives with your manager . It can be daunting to even to speak out loud the words post partum psychosis and keep it to yourself. People will surprise you with their compassion and understanding and in time each day will become a little easier .
I know that that some great links have been shared to signpost you to the APP groups which were invaluable to me at different stages of my recovery so do reach out to get involved with those if you can. There is so much comfort in talking to someone who has lived experience of PP.
Thank you for checking in.I've managed to get a few more weeks off work. Discussion with OH is coming up soon.
My manager has been considering of the situation but is (understandably?) naive to the effects of PPP. I asked that my team be told of the PPP this week too. My wife and I favour the approach of being open about things.
My wife is doing really well with the basics at home with our daughter. The main focus is building her confidence as there are some big fears still. The primary one is being alone. Ironically, visitors are a trigger for some recurring symptoms which does slow things down but I understand. Going to have first full day to herself this week.
Very glad to read your update that you are able to have some more weeks of leave and you have a chat with OH penciled in.
Bravo to you and your wife getting into the pace of things and hoping that her day on her own this week goes well.
In the early days of recovery my confidence was at an all time low and I would not trust myself to be alone either. When I gathered the courage to venture out, I felt better. If having visits is triggering for your wife would it be helpful to meet with a family member out for a coffee instead? I don't know if you have had a chance to look into Home Start as well?
Take good care, wishing you and your wife all the best
Thanks Maria. My wife and I have had another chat recently about visitors/meeting people and she's going to meet with some close family at home first and then go from there. I think once she's done it once or twice (including meeting someone for coffee) she will feel much better. That's worked with everything so far anyway.
With regards to Home Start we looked into it but when did in more detail we are sadly one of the very few areas of the UK that it doesn't cover. My wife has put her chin up however and said she'll continue with the perinatal groups and make the most of them instead. When I do go back to work I'm going to suggest having more family/friends over to help on occasion too (if above plan works!)
Hi reg64, it is unfortunate your area is not covered by Home Start, but I am pleased your wife has taken it on her stride. That sounds like a very good plan, all in stepping stones.Take very good care. Do remember to also take some time for yourself, if it is going for a run or talking to a friend
I hope you are well and your wife continues to make steady progress in her recovery. Just wondering if OH had any helpful suggestions to support a return to work. Take care .... keep reaching out to family and friends to unwind.
I had a meeting with OH and they were excellent (by chance the nurse was a former midwife which helped). Implemeted a phased return and started back at work last week. Yesterday was my first (short) day in the office. Wife coped well and kept busy with baby and met some friends to take mind off being alone.
3 hurdles covered in 3 weeks. Still got the bigger hurdles to go (more time in the office, the inevitable 'bad days', going back to full time).
My wife was very anxious prior to the phased return being put in place. It was like D-day was approaching and she wasn't going to cope by herself.
The main thing that's helped my wife, and I, is having a set structure/plan leading right up to when I actually take a period of pre-booked long-term Shared Parental Leave in a couple of months.
Thanks for taking time out to reply. It’s good to hear that OH were excellent. I’m sure you felt anxious with yesterday being your first short day at work but you made sure your wife was well supported.
It’s so very hard for partners jumping those hurdles to keep things as calm as possible at home. It must have been an anxious time leading up to your return to work for you and your wife. I can remember being very anxious about my husband returning to work. So much so that I wouldn’t get out of bed so he didn’t leave the house! It was very difficult trying to cope with our first son from whom I was separated for so long while in various units.
I think having a structure and plan in place is very helpful and the pre-booked leave in a couple of months will be something for you both to look forward to. By which time your wife will be feeling a bit more confident and hopefully any other hurdles will be manageable.
Remember to take care of yourself too with so much on your plate.
I hope your wife is gaining more confidence with the perinatal groups and that she is coping if you are working longer days.
I think it’s been mentioned before that there is a virtual cafe for dads on the third Wednesday of every month (except Christmas). So I thought if you needed any support you might perhaps email Simon at simon@app-network.org for the ‘meeting’ tomorrow.
Thanks for checking in and for the meeting reminder.
My wife has done well attending the perinatal groups, despite apprehensions in going ind as she's getting ready.
The gradual build up to full time is going well. She is anxious about me being away in the office for longer days (currently doing 1/2 day away from home) but we did have a constructive chat about this just this week in fact.
My wife's anxiety levels are on the increase however (largely unrelated to returning to work) and more because of some bad personal family news and general lack of confidence. I'm trying so hard to find a balance between not "taking over" baby care and coming across as insensitive/not-interested.
Good to hear that with your support your wife has done well going to the perinatal groups, even though a bit apprehensive at first. I think I’m the same, always a little anxious meeting new people but settling after a while after feeling welcome.
I’m glad you are able to talk about the “what ifs” when you eventually return to work full time, so that your wife feels reassured and as comfortable as she can be for now.
I’m sorry that your wife’s anxiety is on the increase due to some bad personal family news. Such news can be very stressful and heighten anxiety levels. Sometimes it is like walking on eggshells, finding the right balance to suit your wife’s needs but not appearing to “take over”. I think you are very in tune with your wife although she is having a hard time with personal family news at the moment.
Perhaps after work it might be possible for you both to have a little time outdoors with baby to unwind and support each other ... even just for coffee and a catch-up.
Hope you are well and that your wife continues to make steady progress in her recovery. Not too long to go until your long-term shared parental leave, which must be good looking forward to more family time together. Take care.
She's taken a bit of a backwards step due to some sad family news. So far as the work side of things is concerned we've got 2 weeks left until the SPL starts which I don't think can come soon enough so I can help with support and the 3 of us spending some more relaxing time together.
Work have still been great and I would recommend having enough time off at the start and a phased return to any partner. This has worked really well with boosting my wife's confidence levels.
I’m so sorry to hear your wife’s recovery has been affected by sad family news. That must be very difficult and a lot for her to come to terms with.
Not long until the shared parental leave starts which I think will take some of the pressure off and, as you say, you will be able to spend more time relaxing, as a family. You are a great strength for your wife to lean on and pitched it just right at work to care for her and your treasured newborn.
Thanks for writing .... best wishes to your family.
I hope by now the shared parental leave has started and you are all enjoying a more relaxing time together. You have been a great support to your wife and baby. Take care.
The SPL has now started and we are indeed enjoying some time together as a family unit which should have taken place 6 months ago. On the plus side, baby is that much older do is in more of a routine & able to do a bit more. The first swim, for example, was really nice - especially seeing Mum's face light up.
Ironically, it's the medication that is taking its toll now and my wife is really lethargic. Hoping to get that (sensibly) reduced soon so that can have a bit more meaningful time together.
Its good that you can now spend time as a family after coming through so much in the past six months. Years ago when I had my first episode our son was 6 months when I eventually came home. So I can imagine your baby is able to do a bit more .... first swim must have been very exciting for you all.
I can remember being very slow on my medication but needed it at the time to keep me stable. Perhaps it might be reduced at your wife’s next review.
Take care .... relax and unwind in the comfort of home with your precious family.
Sorry to interrupt your SPL if it still ongoing. I hope your wife has had a medication review so that you are both able to make the most of your time together as a family.
No worries at all. Yes it is ongoing until the new year.
She's had the olanzapine reduced down from 15mg to 10mg and isn't falling asleep instantly on the sofa in the evenings anymore. Anxiety levels are up slightly but nothing too major. I'm a bit 'on edge' in case she suddenly goes downhill but, overall, she feels much better on the reduced dose and less lethargic which means we are able to do a few more nice things.
Next step - on the returning to work topic - is my wife returning to work. Been on maternity/sick leave since baby was born in February.
Good to hear that your SPL is ongoing until the new year.
I’m glad your wife feels better on the reduced dose of medication and you are able to do a few more things together as a family. As you are both in tune with helping each other there must be a lot of meaningful conversation. So I think you will notice any dips in your wife’s mood.
I’m sure you will be helping your wife with any worries she may have about returning to work, trying to rebuild her confidence. Perhaps when the time is right she will be able to have OH support in her workplace, which I think you found reassuring for yourself a few months ago.
Don’t forget the dads’ cafe and support at simon@app-network.org/ if needed. Take care and thanks for writing.
She's getting there. She's very anxious most mornings and scared when I'm not there as she, to quote her, "doesn't know what to do with [baby]". She does, it's just extreme anxiety and lack of confidence. She's also lying in until quite late (1) because she's tired and (2) (the main reason) to try and avoid having to 'deal' with baby.
On the plus side, when she's more relaxed things are relatively normal and at all times when she can get 'in the zone' she does a great job!
My wife goes back to work this week. On a very gradual phased return until the New Year. I'm back late January too. We are both hoping that once the new routine starts then and my wife has more structure (and distractions) things will get easier.
Overall though, it's been great having this time off together. The Shared Parental Leave was pre-planned way before baby was born. Obviously my wife being off sick at the same time was not but it it has allowed us all to have that time together that we missed when she was really poorly at the start if the year. For that I feel we are so lucky despite it being very tough at times!
PS I have been partaking in the Partners' Café since the Spring and it's been really helpful.
Thanks so much for writing. I think I was very anxious and lacking in confidence to care for our first son at home when I returned from hospital. I always felt better if my husband was there to lend a hand. At times I was sleeping late too but I’m not sure whether this might also have been the medication making me slower to get ‘in the zone’ or a confidence issue.
I hope your wife’s very gradual return to work goes well. It’s so good that you have been able to share time together you missed earlier this year.
I’m glad the Partners’ Cafe has been a helpful outlet for you. I think the partners of women who have suffered PP are amazing in their support when their world is turned upside down following the birth of a precious child.
I hope your wife’s very gradual return to work has been going well. Wishing you a very happy time on your baby’s first Christmas. Remember to take care of yourself as your wife recovers and you are there for her to lean on.
About to enter a new chapter as we both fully return to work this week. Hoping it provides some routine, structure and sense of purpose, especially for my wife.
I hope the full return to work for both you and your wife is not too stressful this week. Perhaps the very gradual phased return for your wife building up to this week will help her cope in her workplace and there will be support offered there if needed.
Take care of yourself too as it can be quite stressful, watching and waiting in the wings. I’m sure you will be celebrating how far you have both come as you enter this new chapter together, with your little one.
Thanks for writing ... best wishes to you and your family.
I have had to re-read this thread. I wrote a while ago. Gosh-some real positive development and amazed that your wife is re-integrating back to work.
Look out for each other, external stressors can be rather exhausting. All in stepping stones.
Hope there is some outlet in a therapeutic way. I could not go back to my profession and followed a different path of passion. Mindfulness work, yoga, art, gardening or stuff you both may enjoy such as nature or pursuing other hobbies can be great.
So pleased you participate in the Partner's café support. It was tough for my partner as it was in 2010 and APP just was establishing. It is important to check into your own emotions. My partner's lid was full and struggled with PTS many years after the traumatising experience as life stressors just role in throughout life.
So, always look out for your own mental and physical health as you've been and obviously continue to be such an amazing care-giving loving person to your wife.
Thanks for your reply Pikorua I can really relate to this at the moment.
Work is doing my wife a world of good. The routine is really helping and despite her doubting herself the days she has with our child she does well they are just "long" and she "doesn't know what to do" to quite her.
If anything it's me that is struggling with the return to work. Not so much in the literal sense - working is good (need to earn money!) and having the routine. Moreover in the sense that I feel like I need to do something completely different, especially after having lots of time to think on the leave I had after baby was born.
Understandably, my wife is very apprehensive about this as she values stability at the best of times and my current role is very flexible.
I think the experience we've had has resulted in me wanting a fresh start but also making sure I'm still "there" for both if them.
Sorry bit of a ramble there but guess it does relate to the original topic 🙂
So good to read that your wife is feeling the benefit of returning to work although doubts herself some days coping with your child.
Pikorua’s reply was very insightful about how much stress our partners endured at the time we were unwell. I hope you are still finding support from the Partners’ cafe helpful. It’s very hard to weigh up a fresh start for yourself in work if you are ‘comfortable’ and ticking along after such traumatic times. So I can understand how your wife values stability and isn’t keen to rock the boat.
I remember a few years after I had recovered from my first PP our friends moved to the coast. We considered a fresh start and although my late husband could transfer, the job offered would only be seasonal. Although he could have found additional employment out of season we didn’t take the risk at the time.
I’m sorry this is completely different from considering a new work environment. I understand how you might look at a change of scene while being ‘there’ for your family. A leap of faith isn’t easy but I wish you well. Take care.
Hi Lilybeth. Staying put for now it seems. Best choice all round as stability is needed. My wife is definitely finding a sense of purpose being back in work. I am too it's just since returning after everything that went on last year it's hard to get away from the feeling of wanting that 'fresh start'.I'm telling myself that we've got it as I've got my wife back and little one is thriving but something deep down is itching! Considerations for the future. Keeping things 'as is' for now.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Financial Impact of PP
Second episode olanzapine resistance 
Just wanted to introduce myself & ask a question about support in the US?
Helping a partner return to some normality 
Stuck in a vicious cycle
