Not realising um a mother

[Astarlove]

8 mnths but dnt realise um his mother. Mind saying you dnt deserve him maybe? Or its the condition. Things seem not real. But i dont feel recentment or pain in my heart anhmore when holding him

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Astarlove,

I do hope the replies on here have been helping to reassure you that you're not alone in how you're feeling, and that it will get better.

It sounds positive that you're no longer feeling pain and resentment when holding your son, but I know that detached feeling is so difficult. I'm sure positive emotions will start to flow in time. I agree with what others have said in reply to your other posts, that the trauma, the healing process and medication all likely play a part - in part I think through protecting and numbing us from everything we've been through, but you'll find your way back gradually. I know I found things got easier as my son got older and responded more - it's a two-way relationship and that bond and attachment will develop and grow ❤️

I saw in another reply that you were no longer able to visit your psychiatrist, I am so sorry that access to services can be so difficult for different reasons across the world. I hope you're able to find some additional support and resources through Postpartum Support International (PSI) - postpartum.net/get-help/loc... - and that writing here is helping.

Take good care, we're all here to listen.

Best wishes,

Jenny x

[Astarlove in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

Thank you so much the replies are so helpful. Love you

[The_Wes_Anderson_Fan Volunteer]

I think you are on the way to recovery, as you say you no longer feel resentment or pain when you hold your baby. That is progress and it should continue to improve x

[Ramlah_at_APP Volunteer]

Hello Astarlove,

It’s definitely a positive that you are no longer feeling resentment or pain in your heart when holding your baby. Try to cherish those moments ❤️

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Astarlove,I am glad to read you don't feel resentment or pain anymore, that is a big step in your journey. Celebrate this milestone.

I also struggled to feel love for my daughter in her first year and I could not understand how her dad, uncle, aunties and grandparents found love for her so effortlessly.

Fast forward just a few years and me and her have an amazing relationship and she is at the fore front of all of my life's decisions.

Take care, wrap yourself in the comfort that this too shall pass, sending you a warm virtual hug