Mood swings

[Astarlove]

I am experiencing mood swings since i stopped respiradone. One minute i. Have so. Many thoughts of blaming my doc on. Why he did not put me to sleep in my operation and maybe it would havr prevented all of this. The next i feel so low that my emotions are. Not yet back and i. Just want to feel them for. My son. The next i feel ok like normal.. The next feel so low like i can't live with it

Is that part of the healing process or i need to be. Back. On medication? I cry a lot

Just want. My. Life. Back

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP]

Hello Astarlove,

I'm glad you're writing here, I hope the replies you had before were helpful. It's Rachel here, I'm part of the national Peer Support Team at Action on Postpartum Psychosis.

I can definitely relate to feeling like I was having mood swings. Truth be told, when I came out of the worst of the psychosis, the exhaustion and depression felt overwhelming too. To be honest, I guess you could describe me as either distant at that time, or snappy and moody. I know my poor Mummy who helped looked after me at that time - would definitely say I snapped sometimes. I felt really bad about it, I still do. But I know I was still poorly and still recovering. I guess I just felt like I had something to prove, feeling totally vulnerable as a Mummy and frankly overwhelmed and traumatised at that time. Motherhood can feel overwhelming can't it, even if you've not had Postpartum Psychosis like we have.

The smallest of things would make me have a wobble or have a mood swing, the freezer door getting stuck AGAIN, was a huge (ridiculous with hindsight) trigger, as was small mistakes like me forgetting to sterilise the bottles for my little boy. All of it, just felt like a lot. And in turn, made me wobble a fair bit. I cried too. Just like you describe.

I wonder if you'd be able to talk with your health professional about how you're feeling? They might be able to suggest something that might help you with your emotions that you describe. Having been through what you have, is a huge thing for anyone, it really is a trauma to go through. So I think it is only natural to think through all the different elements involved like you say. It might be that the health professionals suggest different things for you to consider, maybe medication, maybe talking therapy; but the main thing is to keep talking Astarlove to those who care about you. That was one of the things that really helped me. Don't cry on your own too much lovely, seek out people that care about you. They'll want to support you through this.

Thinking of you, and wishing you and your little one well. This too shall pass. You will get your life back Astarlove. Take care.

Rachel x

[Pikorua Volunteer in reply to Rachel_at_APP]

I can resonate with you and beautiful advice x

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Hey Astarlove I’m sorry things are so hard right now. It sounds so exhausting, the mood swings, and the emotional upheaval. Do you have any doctor appointments coming up? It might be really helpful to bring them some sort of mood diary, so they can get a sense of what you’ve been going through since stopping the Risperidone.

I hope you’ve got some nice simple things planned for the next few days, so you can spend some nice time with your son. Take good care of yourself,

Kat

[The_Wes_Anderson_Fan Volunteer]

Hello Astarlove,

So sorry to hear that you are struggling so much.

I am not an expert on medication but please go back to the person who prescribes your medication and tell them exactly how you are feeling.

You will feel normal again and get your life back, the volunteers on this portal have been there and got through it. But it takes time.

I am worried about you saying about being put to sleep during an operation, if you feel so slow that you might harm yourself, please contact the Samaritans or a&e. Always ask for help.

Sending Love X

Keep reaching out to us

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hi Astarlove,

I was on Risperidone, which is an anti-psychotic drug. This had been implemented to get rid of the Psychosis. Beside that I was on opiates to mellow me down, one of them were Lorazepam. The once ending with pams are also highly addictive.

Are you taking anything else at the moment? Have you been weaned off slowly from the Risperidone? I can not give you any medical advice, but just speak from my own experiences and look at the records, when my partner cared for me and observed me closely to report back to the Psychiatrist. Many were involved...communication with health professionals and my partner was all recorded via health and meds care plan.

In my opinion the following could happen:

If you have been weaning off too abruptly you will have symptoms like the ones you describe.

Because I was on a variety of meds I was closely observed and everything was recorded. I have had tremendous side effects whilst recovering, because of the combination of various medications such as constipation, low concentration, speech problems, mobility problems, continuous exhaustion.

My cognition/concentration and daily routine was a continuous struggle, even 6 months after having weaned off successfully from all drugs.

Do you still receive any MH support? It may help to journalise about your feelings and mood swings. I still journalise, but also used tracking templates to record my mood swings.

Still nowadays I have a strict routine to keep my MH in check, because of my diagnosed BP Be kind and gentle to yourself. Lows can be pretty tough. Please, talk to health professionals or already mentioned charities, which can offer you help and support such as MIND.

I attended art and group therapy in the first 2 years (organised via NHS or activities within your locality run by charities) Over the years I learnt how to identify triggers and established a toolkit for coping mechanisms.

Thinking of you and we are here for you to listen.

x

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi Astarlove,

So sorry to read about your mood swings, it sounds like a lot to cope with. I am in a similar position, very up and down days since I had a week of no sleep in December that severely disrupted my balance. I have a diagnosis of bp1 since May last year.

I am using an app to track my mood in the hope it will shed some light on how I can manage this period, and also feedback at the time of my next review later this month. So far my trend is sleep, if I sleep well the night before more chances of a good day.

On the bad days rage and impatience are very much flaring up for me, I am really short with my eldest and cannot stand delays.

I have recently read a phrase that I am repeating to myself every now and then and sounds like it could help me, if I find a way to implement it in my life:

"Separate the stress I feel from the situation that gives me stress." When I feel stressed out I always thought my only option would be to solve the problem that is causing me to feel like this. Sometimes that is not possible at all. So instead the phrase says work on the stress. It is so much easier said than done!!! So I am taking small steps at the moment and just acknowledging that I am feeling overwhelmed, stressed, unable to cope, today. Tomorrow may be different. And also that what I am trying to do now leaves me exhausted, but I am not alone on this (as many a mum and this forum is such evidence of).

I don't know if my rambles are of any help, but do know you are not alone brave mum. Take care