need some help got ppp

[yllkaA]

Hi my name is yllka and I am 22 years old and I have received PPP for about 2 months since I was admitted to the emergency department and was there for 2 weeks I was treated with ect 4 treatments but I had a relapse again when I got home got medication apriprazole (abilify) 10mg I also had other medicines to sleep but I stopped taking them so now I just take this I wonder if this goes over I needed your help and how do you notice that you feel better how does this go over

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP]

Hello YllkaA and welcome to the forum. Firstly congratulations on the arrival of your little one. I hope they’re doing well.

I’m so so sorry that you’ve had PP, it’s an awful illness. It sounds like it’s still very recent for you. After your ECT too, you’ve been through such a lot. I had it in 2016 after my first child, so a few years ago now.

It’s good to hear that you were able to access treatment in Sweden, are you still receiving support now?

My experience I was admitted to hospital through an Accident and Emergency department, similar to you. It was a huge shock. And whilst my treatment was I guess, quite short in comparison to some others - my recovery afterwards took a long time.

I was lacking any confidence, I felt embarrassed and isolated because of what happened and to be honest I was very depressed too and sometimes just felt desperate to be the mummy I wanted to be.

You asked when we noticed that things got better? For me it was a very gradual process. Everyone is quite different, and for me I had a lot of trauma to work through.

I wonder if you’re still receiving health support, if you could ask for someone to talk to maybe? You could describe how you’re feeling hopefully they will be able to offer support depending on what you need.

I notice that you’re in Sweden, so I wondered in the organisation Mamma Til Mamma might be able to help? mammatillmamma.com

Finally, APP does have some useful resources on the website here. app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

I remember feeling like my recovery was brutal, and that it was never ending. But I did get better and you can too. Write here anytime if it helps, you’re really welcome. We get it.

Rachel x

[Twobabies Volunteer]

Hi YllkaA, thanks for writing on the forum, I hope you will benefit like I did from sharing experiences with other women like us that I’ve been through Postpartum psychosis. I had ppp after the birth of my twins a few years back. I had two trips to A&E before being sectioned and admitted to a general psych ward and then a mother and baby unit. I didn’t have ECT and was on a different antipsychotic as well as a very high dose of anti anxiety/ depression drug. I was almost 3 months in hospital and would say I was only at the start of my recovery when I got home. Much of the early time was a bit of a blur as I was on high dose and was a bit drowsy but the drugs absolutely made me well and with rest and time I can now say I’m recovered. 2 months is a really short period of time and I can completely understand wanting to feel yourself again / well ASAP. Recovery was a journey for me it is such a traumatic and devastating illness I think recovery can and does take a while. Acknowledging you’ve been through so much and being super kind to you were words others said to me that might help you too. Are you under any care of a perinatal team? Do you have some support? I read you said you stopped the sleeping tablets ? Is that because you don’t have any trouble sleeping now? Hopefully you will find if you speak to your psychiatrist or mental health nurse about how you feel about your meds they can support you and you can make changes with them? Trauma is a massive thing that can take a while to feel you can say ‘recovered’ from but the wonderful thing is ppp is fully recoverable and in time I hope you’ll get to the place you are happy to say I’m recovered now. Sending you lots of strength and love. Please continue to reach out there are so many amazing women on here that have all been through this awful illness. Xx

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hi yllkaA,

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read that you recently experienced pp.

I had it in 2018 after the birth of my eldest and it took me a while to feel fully recovered. During my recovery there were a few things that made a difference for me and helped me through the process, I thought I may share them with you and see if any of them sound like something that may work for you:

- Getting out and doing some gentle exercise

- Counselling, I wonder if this is something that can be offered by the team looking after you

- Writing down something I did on the day, doesn't have to be a big thing, sometimes just having a shower makes it to the journal

- Talking to other mums that have been through a similar experience, pp can be very isolating so it is important to be able to connect with others

- Support from friends and family

As others have said, this illness is very recoverable, the mums in this forum are proof of that. Take good care and be gentle with yourself as it is such a trauma to recover from, take it a day at a time.

[Duncan055]

Hi YIIkaA,Sorry you are suffering and well done for reaching out. First thing, are you sleeping, if my wife does not get good sleep things will deteriorate quickly so do not rush to come off your medication. My wife has been on medication for nearly 4 years now and still has relapses. Speaking of medication, if you are only taking the abilify at the moment go back and speak to your doctor, there may need to be an adjustment.

You had ECT but just a few sessions, my wife also had ECT. She did relapse and had furthe ECT sessions, I can't remember exactly how many but here they have a total amount id seizure time target and will continue treatment until that is met. It was very harrowing during that period, my wife lost a lot of her memory which still has not come back. For example we have enjoyed several holidays in Bali and she has no recolection that we even went there.

I would get back to your doctor, speak to them about your medication and please try to be patient and not rush off the medication.

Take care,

D

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello yllkaA,

I’m sorry to read that you’ve recently had PP, I’m really glad you’ve found us

I had PP in 2012. The journey is different for everyone but you absolutely can make a full recovery from this.

I took a different medication, quetiapine, which I took for a year before reducing off it under supervision. I hope you have good support around you and you have healthcare professionals reviewing you regularly, including your medication? It might be helpful to keep a track of how you’re feeling and whether you’re managing to sleep, to help with this.

PP is such a frightening and traumatic illness. I echo the advice to be gentle on yourself and try not to rush things.

We’re all here to listen so please do write if it helps. Our experiences are all different but we’ve ‘been there’ and can hopefully show you there is light at the end of this dark tunnel ❤️

Take good care.

Best wishes,

Jenny x

[yllkaA]

Hello and thank you so much for supporting me , you all are great people.I wanted to ask if during the healing you had different thoughts maybe even psychic and how you could get rid of them but there are only thoughts left nothing else for example is a cartoon on tv and I'm surprised watching it looks like it's an event true. some thoughts are meaningless just to come like that.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hi yllkaA,

I found it took some time to kind of trust my brain again after being so detached from reality. When I was unwell and first recovering I struggled to watch TV and look at magazines. I had believed that people on the TV were there just for me – if I switched on the TV in the lounge in the mother and baby unit, I thought actors were rushed in to put on a show just for me (a bit like the Truman Show). I remember my mum bringing me some magazines and everyone in them just looked so strange I couldn’t look at them, they couldn’t possibly be real (too much photoshop probably didn’t help!) It took time to adjust back from this, I guess maybe it’s your brain healing in a way. Then the more time and distance between being acutely psychotic and the here and now, the more perspective you have to trust that the here and now is real – does that make any sense?

I think recognizing these as just being thoughts is probably a positive thing but if you’re concerned in any way or find things are becoming more strange, do talk to your healthcare team. Do you have good support around you? I would regular check in with my husband when recovering that he thought my behaviour etc. was ok as I was relying on him to spot any worrying signs.

I hope you and your little one are doing ok.

Best wishes,

Jenny x

[Adoo97 in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

Hello did you have it like in 2 months when did it get better

[Jenny_at_APP Partner in reply to Adoo97]

Hello Adoo97,

Everyone’s recovery journey is different. The frequently asked questions page on the APP website (app-network.org/what-is-pp/... says: 'It can take 6 -12 months or more to recover from postpartum psychosis. The most severe symptoms tend to last 2 to 12 weeks.'

For me, I spent a month in a mother and baby unit, I think the acute symptoms lasted a couple of weeks. Full recovery after that took some time. I’d say there are a lot of different aspects to ‘recovery’ – I was well on my way back to being 'me' after a few months but there was a lot to process and that took time. It can be a long process, and it can be very up and down but there is most definitely hope that your wife will make a full recovery. I hope you’re doing ok and that reading the shared experiences here has been helpful and reassuring to you.

Best wishes,

Jenny

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello yllkaA

Good to meet you here across the miles. Congratulations on the birth of your baby. I’m sorry to hear you suffered PP which is an awful trauma after the joy of having a baby.

I had PP many years ago, twice, six years apart. Medication alone wasn’t working so I also had ect. I’m sorry you relapsed when you got home. Similarly I relapsed during my recovery as I tried to limit the medication which was making me drowsy. I quickly went downhill and soon realised that the medication was keeping me stable.

I was 23 when PP first hit me. Have you been guided by your care team about stopping medications which helped you to sleep? I think it’s very early days for you to come to terms with everything you have been through. Try not to rush to be well and be kind to yourself. I was sectioned to mixed general psychiatric care in the UK and in various units, without my first son for six months, so you are doing well to be home.

My thoughts during recovery were a mix of delusions and hallucinations. If the news was on the tv at home, I was convinced I knew what happened before it was broadcast. Songs on the radio were also playing just for me! It was all very real to me at the time. You’re right that some thoughts just flow but others get stuck. It just takes time and regular reviews with your care team to find your place again.

There are some good links here and you might also find “PP Soup” interesting at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com/ described as a nourishing mix of all things Postpartum Psychosis. Put together by a mum who suffered PP with input from other mums and professionals.

Welcome to this unique band of lovely mums ... take care.

[yllkaA in reply to Lilybeth]

Hej and thank youuu so much!!! I had also that for music I was thinking it was made for me haha but now no .I know what I had and when the thoughts comes I just realize that Im healing Its early yet And then the thoughts goes…weirds thoughts

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello yllkaA

It’s good that you recognise the difference in your thoughts. As you say, it is early yet in your recovery and you are healing. So wrap yourself in the comfort blanket of home and be kind to yourself.

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello yllkaA

I hope you are well and taking things easy in your recovery. Take care.