My wife just gave birth to our twin girls last month. Her hospital experience there was bad, she had covid when we went in and they took the girls away after birth, she wasn't aloud to see them for 10 days.
After she finally got in to see the twins and were released we went home. She didn't get much sleep while in the NICU and I thought her rapid talking was just due to lack of sleep, I soon found out it wasn't. Things with her went down hill really fast. We called a professional that helps woman going through PPD. She suggested we try and help her sleep at least 5 hours and if thing didn't improve she would help guide us in the right direction. In short it didn't work. She couldn't sleep and kept getting worse.
Her brother (then she has looked up to in the past and was helping us when this started) and I had to take her into the hospital and she was emited 12 days ago. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. Due to covid there is no visitation, I had to watch as they took away, not really understanding what was happening to her or if she would ever be the same. I am able to call in and get updates and sometimes talk to her but there hasn't been much improvements yet. They are trying new meds starting tonight so I am hoping to see something soon.
I have done some research in the days since she has been there and have learned a little on what postpartum psychosis is but there hasn't been much of the reassurance information until I found this forum. I hope to find more reassuring info. This has been one of the hardest thing our family has ever gone through.
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Hertexan
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Hi,I am so sorry to hear about your wife and wish her a speedy recovery. I had post partum psychosis back in august 2020 and coronavirus restrictions were very much in place too but my fiancé was allowed to visit as they saw it as integral to my recovery. Have a word with the staff and see what they say. Granted he could only visit for around an hour a week and in a separate room to the ward but it still made a difference. Are your girls with their mum?
If you ever want to chat please feel free to message me.
You did the right thing getting help, admitted a loved one into hospital is the hardest thing ever but trust me she’ll thank you for it when she comes through the other side.
I promise you she will return to her old self, just give her time, love and support.
Please feel free to contact me and I’d love to answer any questions you have x
Firstly congratulations on the birth of your twins! But I am so sorry that to hear that this has happened to your wife and your family. I imagine you’re feeling pretty shocked at the moment?
I had PP back in 2016 after the birth of my first baby. It came completely out of the blue, as it sounds it has for your wife too.
It is very early days for your family, and I can’t imagine the extra stress and complexity Covid is adding to this already awful situation. I’m so sorry, the world can sometimes feel like a very cruel place.
I wanted to reassure you that your wife is in the right place. I too was hospitalised with PP. It wasn’t where I wanted to be (I was also in hospital at Christmas like your wife) but with hindsight it was the right thing for me, our baby and whole family. I took medication and with the right help I did get better. My little baby is now a thriving nearly five year old (Christmas Day baby), so please take heart that now your wife is getting the help that she needs – your family will come through this.
I hope by reading this and the many other women’s stories on this forum, you’ll see that your wife can come through the horror of her current illness. This is all temporary.
Whilst your wife is in hospital, what support do you have around you to support you? It is such early days; you must remember to take care of yourself. I sound like a right old “mum” saying that, but if you’re not watered, fed and rested you can’t do your best to support your wife and children through this. You must pace yourself through this. There will be ups, downs and moments in between in your wife’s recovery. I’m so glad you’ve found us here, as we are here to support you. Are there friends and family around you too, who you can call on?
Finally, I don’t know if you have read any of the support guides on our website, they are written in the UK by our Charity Action on Postpartum Psychosis – but they may also provide information and reassurance I hope: app-network.org/what-is-pp/.... This is our guide for partners, written by partners which might also be helpful: app-network.org/wp-content/....
And there is Postpartum Support International, who provide information and support: postpartum.net/ for the US.
Please write anytime, you are most welcome here. I really hope you’re ok. Thinking of you and your precious family.
Hi Hertexan! Congratulations on the birth of your baby twin girls. And im so sorry PP hit your wife. But please don’t worry, you took your wife to the hospital just in time, and she is getting all the medical help possible. PP is a very dangerous but very curable thing, when cured with drugs in proper time PP is absolutely reversible, and we mums on this forum are a living proof to it.
Every PP recovery journey is unique, but when it comes to stopping the symptoms of psychosis itself, it may take about 1-4 weeks for the doctors to find the right medication, and for the medication to kick in and stabilise the condition, so 12 days in hospital doesn’t seem too long yet.
Do doctors share their treatment plan with you? Have you been able to provide all the necessary items that would help with stopping your wife’s lactation process if she lactates? (i remember that was very tricky in mental health hospital as they didn’t have much experience in it, because PP is still pretty rare, and my family brought me a pump, Dostinex medication which stops lactation and many many tight bras, because Dostinex didn’t do the trick and i kept lactating for weeks).
Does she have access to comfortable postpartum lady pads? You know, psychiatrists are usually focused on patient’s brain, but your wife is postpartum with all her body, i hope this hospital has a OB/GYN that can check on her.
I see it’s written in your profile that you are from USA. As far as i know there is no mother and baby unit system in States, so i assume your wife is separated from the newborns. This should be so hard to go on through first weeks of parenting with twins without your wife around , just as it as, and PP makes it all scary and difficult. Im so sorry.
I think your wife is now very confused, and the medication is making her even more confused, sedated and dizzy. Maybe answering her questions if she has many and telling her more about PP will ease the pain for her - that it’s not her fault, and it’s nobody’s fault, it’s just random disaster, that it’s just a rare postpartum complication, 1/1000 births, and that she will recover soon, like she would recover from a surgery, for example. 2 years from now i wish i heard more of it in the hospital because “postpartum psychosis” is not self-explanatory for someone without mental health history in the past.
I hope she is not angry with you and her brother. However i remember i was very angry with my family that they put me into mental health hospital and it took me about a year to realise what exactly happened to me, what PP is and why they had no other choice.
Depending on what your wife’s PP was comprised of, it may take a bit longer for medication to do its job. For example, i was very manic, absolutely no sleep, with very intensive and complicated delusions, and i think i started to be back to myself only on day 15-17 of my treatment in hospital, because this kind of mania is difficult to knock off, and doctors had to come up with a blend of antipsychotics, a bit of old school like haloperidol, and mainly modern drugs, like Olanzapine in shots and Abilify in tablets.
On the other hand, if your wife was depressed during PP, it may be a longer process just because antidepressants as medication kick in longer.
But please don’t worry, psychosis is highly curable.
Im so sorry for you as i felt sorry for my husband exactly 2 years ago - i also gave birth and was hospitalised involuntary around Xmas.
But i’m fine now. And your wife will be fine!!!
Please feel free to direct message for any advice and support.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post and reassure me.
To answer some of y'alls questions. I have talked to the staff about if I took a test and wore multiple masks if they would let me see her for an hour. They said if they did that for me they would have to for everyone.
I do have support from my mom, who helps me take care of the twins and our 3 year old daughter. I also have support from my brother-in-law and his wife who has helped me financially.
My wife is in a hospital that knows and has treated multiple women who have got through pp before but my wife has been one of there only cases that she hasn't shown any signs of improvement from the first meds. She also believe that they are trying to give her something that is going to harm her. She is confused as to were she is sometimes and when I talk to her on the really bad days she gets angry and starts beating the phone on the table and that's how our conversation ends. I have tried to explain what pp is and that she will get better but I'm not sure if she remembers our conversation or maybe she didn't think it was real.
I know I was starting to sink into depression from all of this. I started to blame myself and telling myself "if I would have just helped out more she wouldn't be like this." But since I have found this forum it has helped a lot and lifted my spirit a lot. I just wish I knew what I could say to her that would get past the delusion. It has been really hard to call and talk to her. For me protecting my family is everything and to hear her the way she is now and not be able to do anything makes me feel so helpless
i thought i could add a slightly different perspective as my postpartum story wasn’t typical but shows how just a drop in hormones right after birth can cause the sudden onset of PP. i didn’t have any symptoms of postpartum depression until 9 months postpartum until i was around 9 months postpartum. i began to get physically ill from it but i didn’t know that it was half in part to postpartum itself. then at 16 months postpartum i had to stop breastfeeding. i had lost so much weight they suggested to just stop. no one warned me though by stopping abruptly it could bring on severe postpartum ocd and psychosis. in my case i had borderline psychosis because i was slightly aware what was going on but it’s only now i can look back and realize how bad it was because it came on over a few weeks. this was not a typical case so i’m just adding my perspective to the other warrior mommas stories that have already wrote. i know you said that she hasn’t responded to the meds yet and i just want to add some reassurance that that doesn’t mean she won’t get better. it took me trying multiple different med combos to find the right ones for me. it does take time to switch between meds so they have to do one at a time and give it time to work. luckily the antipsychotics they usually use for these type of things start to kick in in just 3 days but it does still take time for things to reduce enough where she might be more aware of things. i know everyone is so different. some moms can get better quickly and others it will take more time. when i was first in the hospital the doctor explained it to me like the medication is the puzzle pieces and my brain is the board and you have to find the right pieces to fit.. meaning the right neurotransmitters that are not working the way they should. the hormones directly effect the chemicals in the brain so that’s why a sudden drop can throw everything off. i didn’t understand that for a long time. just hold on to the hope she can and will get better it may just take some time. i know it’s so hard to see your wife like this. just try to support her as much as you can even though you can’t understand why it’s happening. she needs your support to get through it and she can. there is another forum called smart patient that has mom going through postpartum depression and OCD if you find you need other support or want different perspectives as you continue on your journey. this is definitely the best site though for what your going through. i’m glad your educating yourself because this is so hard to understand unless you have been through it yourself but it’s a painful thing to go through. i wish you both the best and please continue to reach out for support as you need it.
Please believe us when we say this horrible illness is no-one's fault. It's easy to look back and say maybe if I'd done this, or maybe if I'd not done that - but it really isn't like that. I can remember searching for the reason why it happened to my wife. Hoping there was some cause that would reveal a magic cure. Again, that's not the way it is.
Instead, it takes time to find a way forward that will work for your wife and it will take more time for her to get back to herself (and there might be some setbacks on the way). But, even though it's a serious illness, it has a good prognosis.
I hope you have support around you. You might want to share some of the literature on the APP web site with people close to you so they can understand more about what's happening and how they can support you. Please ask for help when you need it and look after yourself. APP can help you find someone to talk to who has been through what you're going through if that's something you need.
Welcome to the forum where you have already had reassurance that with good professional care your wife will be well eventually. Congratulations on the birth of your twins.
I had PP many years ago with delusions which were all very real and frightening at the time. I was under mixed general psychiatric care in hospital without my baby. I was suspicious of everyone and it took a while for me to respond to medication and treatment.
Another link which might be helpful is to “PP Soup - a nourishing mix of all things Postpartum Psychosis” at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com/. Put together by a mum who experienced PP with input from other mums and professionals.
I’m sorry you also have to cope with restrictions due to Covid. Is it possible you could write a note to your wife and include something to remind her of your twins, a little blanket, a photo, just something to remind her of home? Try not to take her aggression to heart, Your wife is fighting to be well and it’s early days for her to understand what is happening. She is in the right place to get well and with your loving support she will eventually recover. We are all here to lean on ... take care.
When this happens it's such an unknown and desperately intense time, I had the same thing. Beleive me when I say the fact that your wife has gone straight into hospital for help is the best thing that can happen with this development. My wife took a long time to deteriorate and was hospitalised only after some tragic times over the first year at home when our son was born.
Early intervention always gives a much better outcome.
Arrange counselling for yourself ASAP to talk through what's happening and help deal with the stress.
Once your wife is stabilised there will be a recovery process of course, but then you will be back to regular family life.
But the extreme stress you're going through must be addressed with professional counselling so you can keep yourself well.
Congratulations on the birth of your twins. I am so sorry to hear that your wife has been admitted with pp after their birth. As you say this is the best place for her to be at the moment, and I hope that hearing the stories of other mums and partners who have been there has been reassuring. Still, it must have been a very tough decision to make and I am sorry it landed on you to make it. My partner went through something similar back in 2018 when I fell ill with pp after the birth of my daughter and it is very traumatic.
I am sorry you are not able to visit your wife at the moment and that talking to her on the phone is not always reassuring, this must be hitting you hard at the moment, so try to look for support for you as well. I don't know if it is possible to arrange for some counselling for you, I hope writing here helps to relief some of the burden you carry at the moment, but it is probably a good idea to enlist some professional help too.
In terms of what to say to your wife and how to reach to her, sometimes just listening even though it may not make much sense at times can be hugely helpful. I felt a great need to talk, and to be taken seriously when I was at my worst, even though it was absolute nonsense and sometimes even comical. Reassuring her that she will get better and that you are there for her.
I am glad to hear that you are getting some practical help from your mum at home, despite how much of an upheaval pp is life doesn't stop and it can feel overwhelming at times.
Take good care, hope that the doctors find the right combination of medication soon and that your wife starts showing signs of improvement
Just wondering how your wife is although it’s very early days after such a traumatic illness. I hope you can see a glimmer of light as even though you are only able to communicate via the telephone, she might now be more reassured by your voice. I was very argumentative with my husband, almost as if I was a different person.
I too was in hospital at Christmas following the birth of our first son. I was under mixed general psychiatric care, so without him. At the time my husband made a short video at home of our newborn son so that we could watch it together when I was ready. It was very strange to see my family and not be there to share their joy but it is now a keepsake as the years roll by.
I do hope you are looking after your health too as it is a very worrying time for everyone but with good medical care your wife will gradually feel better one step at a time. Wishing you and your family a hopeful Christmas and New Year. Stay safe and take care.
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