I’m new and I just took my wife to ER... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis
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I’m new and I just took my wife to ER for PP

Silencer002
Silencer002

It’s been one day and I am so lost and don’t know how to help my wife. She is currently in a hospital in an inpatient unit part of their mental ward. So far she is just sleeping and not doing to much. She called me twice and the calls are very upsetting. She almost doesn’t know who I am or what’s real and fake. I feel like I’ve lost her and she will never be back. How I am suppose to comfort her and help her if she doesn’t trust me any more. Any advice will help.

15 Replies
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Hi Silencer002

Welcome to the forum. You'll find lots of support here from people who've been through it. You made a brave decision to take her to the ER, PP should be treated as a psychiatric emergency and usually requires inpatient treatment. Are you in the UK?

I was admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit in 2016 and stayed there with my twin babies for 9 weeks. I was also diagnosed with PP. It is an illness that unfortunately makes reality and non-reality hard to distinguish. It can be very debilitating in the acute phase, usually 2 to 12 weeks, but the good news is you can recover, as I did, and in time get back to being a normal family again.

There's some really usual information on APP's website on PP and a leaflet for partners. Here is the link:

app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

Have you got family support? Please try and take care of your own needs too and keep in touch with us, things will get better in time.

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Silencer002

So pleased you have found the forum where you will find lots of advice and support. I'm so sorry you are feeling lost. It is a shame that the joy of a baby should be tarnished by such an awful illness. Are you in the UK?

I had PP twice many years ago and it was a very stressful time for my family as my behaviour was so out of character and I had delusions and hallucinations. When I was in the midst of PP it was all very real and frightening and hard for anyone to understand.

I wonder if you have seen the PP Insider Guides "Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis" and "Postpartum Psychosis : A Guide for Partners" which might be helpful at this time? The link is app-network.org/what-is-pp/... On the page you will also find links to frequently asked questions and personal experiences which might give you an insight into such a traumatic illness.

I imagine your wife is sleeping due to medication to keep her stable? I was also in a mixed general psychiatric ward as there were no mother and baby units at the time, so was without my sons.

Do you have support for yourself if you are caring for your newborn? Congratulations by the way :)

I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment when you are receiving such upsetting calls from your wife but PP is a temporary and very treatable illness. With good medical care your wife will eventually recover. We are all here to support you if you would like to talk again at any time.

For now, take good care of yourself ..... your wife will get better in her own time.

How extremely upsetting for you.

I had PP four months after my eldest daughter was born. Like the other ladies, knowing what was real and what reality wasn’t, was very hard to distinguish between.

It may take several months for her to get better, but she will get there.

Just try to care for yourself right now, try to find things you enjoy doing and talk to trusted loved ones about what’s happening.

Sometimes just listening to her rants can help relieve her mind (my husband and father were great at this).

Who is caring for the baby? Xx

latest news I have is that after 2 nights in the hospital and being cared for and finally agreeing to take medication she is doing a lot better. She seems to be lucid again and is aware of what she did to a degree. It seems like she was in and out of it for about two weeks but didn’t get really bad until a few nights ago when I took her to ER. I had friends help out with watching our son and he is back with me tonight. I am really hoping that her case is mainly sleep deprivation but I know she was having hallucinations and delusions and other symptoms. The doctor isn’t quite sure if it was PP or just sleep deprivation and an episode of mania. I don’t quite agree with him because he is not really a postpartum specialist. Due to my situation here in japan I don’t really have access to an MBU or something like that. She is at a hospital in an inpatient ward and she has a great staff taking care of her. She called me tonight and said she is feeling a lot better after medication and said she doesn’t think she will need to be there for much longer but I think she needs 2-5 days minimum before thinking that. It almost scared me because I wasn’t sure if she might be having another moment or if she is lucid. At least she is getting better and just having a few visits and conversations with her is a huge relief.

Hello Silencer 002'

I am so sorry that your wife has been admitted to hospital with Postpartum

Psychosis, you must be very worried, but she is in the right place, there or

in a Mother and Baby Unit. It is such an awful illness, but she will get better.

My daughter suffered with it three years ago, she is well now, being a great mum, back working and volunteering. You are doing great, being there and

supporting. My daughter said it helped enormously that her family were supporting that we took in photographs and special things to remind her who she was. I also took in a lavender eye pillow that seemed to be of comfort.

Recovery can be up and down and they are all different but you will find great support from the fab Mums here. I am so glad that you found APP. Congratulations on your new born, I hope you have family and friends to help.

Best wishes

judith

Sally_at_APP
Sally_at_APPAdministrator

Dear Silencer002,

I am so glad you have found the forum in what must be a scary time for you. It is great that your wife is doing a bit better and agreeing to take medication and that you have friends and support around you too.

I had postpartum psychosis in 2015 after the birth of my daughter. It came on quite quickly and I was admitted to a general psychiatric hospital too. I had moments of very strong hallucinations and delusions and then moments of lucidity, where I could remember and work out what had happened to me. As NanaJudith has said, everyone is different, but recovery can be a bit up and down.

My husband thought at the time that he lost me forever, and that must have been so heart-breaking for him. I think one of the things that helped him, was to know that I would get better, which gave him hope. It is a scary time for your wife, yourself, family and friends, but keep that in your mind if you can. It is important to take things slowly and to know that recovery can take a little while.

I can assure you that your wife will get better from this and so many ladies and those affected by PP on here will be able to tell you the same thing. I am glad she is feeling a bit better and having visitors. Please do keep writing on here when you need, we are here to support you and your wife,

Do take care,

Sally x

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Silencer002

Good to hear that your wife is feeling better after agreeing to take medication ... that must be a relief for you. We are fortunate in the UK that there is more awareness of PP now than when I was hit by it years ago. It must be difficult to find support in Japan.

I wonder if you contact Postpartum Support International at postpartum.net you might find local support? If you go to the web page, scroll down and click on 'Postpartum Psychosis Help" and then under 'Get Help" choose 'Find local support and Help' and then click 'International'. There are various countries listed, one of which is Japan, and if you click there you will find the name of a local co-ordinator with an email contact.

I'm sure your wife is anxious to be home with you and your son but I think you are wise to see how she is in a few more days. I did go home too early at one stage but had to return to hospital as I wasn't quite ready to cope with routine and a newborn. I think we have all taken different routes to recovery, some quicker than others.

It's good that you have friends supporting you. Take care ... we are all thinking of you and here to listen.

I have been talking to PSI and they are really helping me through this and I am understanding so much more. When she is home I am going to have them talk on the phone quite a bit because I think that is one thing that will really help.

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer
in reply to Silencer002

Hello Silencer002, I'm so glad to hear that PSI are really helping you understand so much more. I think it makes such a difference to talk on the phone to someone who really understands and to see the glimmer of hope.

Recovery from PP is such an uphill struggle at times and I think it will make all the difference for your wife to be able to speak to someone on the phone when she feels ready. There is a brilliant blog with lots of info, clips and experiences at "PP Soup" - a nourishing mix of all things PP, at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com which might also be helpful.

Sending best wishes across the miles to you and your family. We are here to 'talk' if it helps .... take care.

Pikorua
PikoruaVolunteer

Hello Silencer002,

my thoughts are with you and your wife. Obviously peri/post natal mental health care does vary from country to country.

I was sectioned to a hospital in 2010 with acute PPP. I also wanted to leave hospital, because my care was inappropriate and unreasonable. However, I do feel that your wife receives sufficient treatment reflecting on the way how you describe her current situation.

It is important to continuously communicate with the health professionals, but also regular visits, lots of interactions and reassurance with/for your wife. I hope there is some sort of return to home procedure, which then could give you an indication of how well you can sort out your wife's home care including care plan.

You see, I was extremely poorly for a long time and my partner was my full time carer. Yet, everybody has got a different journey of recovery.

Take good care, wishing you well.

Hi Silencer002,

I am very sorry that your wife is showing symptoms of pp. But I am glad that she is feeling more herself when you last talked to her. Also it sounds very encouraging that you write you have a good relationship with her care team and that she is trusting them and taking the medication. All this is really very positive.

I had pp 2 years ago and was sectioned in a general psychiatric unit for a short while before going to an mbu (I am in the UK). While I was an impatient the things I looked forward to the most were the visits from my husband and brother. They brought me so much solace. We would have a chat or sit together in perfect silence having a coffee. Later on when I was allowed to go out, walking together to the local supermarket and getting a few things. Sounds like baby steps what I mention, but that's what recovery gets built upon.

18 months later I am recovered, I have a gorgeous daughter who drives me up the wall when she throws yet another temper tantrum just to draw a smile on my face when she giggles 5 seconds later.

Pp for all its extreme manifestations is a very treatable illness and recovery is full, your wife will go back to herself and has already taken huge steps on the road to recovery.

Take care of yourself at this point in time and let your wife know that you are there for her. Whenever you need to write we are here for you

Hi Silencer002...I'd just like to say how amazing you are just dealing with this very difficult situation.

Could you speak to the staff on the ward and ask that she has someone there after the phone call finishes to support her? Also, I'm thinking of you, Do you have anyone in the household that can support you emotionally? If not, a phone call to a friend or relative? It may be difficult opening up, I understand that.

Just be reassured that your wife is in the right place, and if shes sleeping, then that's a very good, positive start.

In time, your wife's confusion and paranoia should decrease. I presume she is on medication?

Please let us know how she is getting on and don't hesitate to reach out again for some support.

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Silencer002

Just thinking of you and hope your wife is slowly recovering from such an awful time after your son was born. I hope you have support for yourself and PSI is continuing to be helpful with regular contact. Take very good care and stay safe.

So the wife is back home as of yesterday and she seems to be getting better slowly. She is on medication and is still having some hard moments and confusion and paranoia. It is very difficult for me some times because I feel like I am wearing thin, and it’s a lot of hard work. I feel drained physically and mentally supporting her and the baby. I. Not really sure what she has anymore, was it ppp or was it some other kind of break? The doctor didn’t really diagnose it as ppp but I don’t know how confident I am in that.

Lilybeth
LilybethVolunteer

Hello Silencer002

Looks like our posts crossed! I'm sorry your wife is having a hard time with confusion and paranoia but think it's very early days after such a trauma. Recovery can be very up and down as you will see from the "PP guide for partners" link given earlier at app-network.org/what-is-pp/... I'm sorry you don't have a definitive diagnosis but on the page mentioned you will see 'Early symptoms of Postpartum Psychosis' which might be helpful to compare.

I'm not surprised you are worn out with such a lot to cope with, supporting your wife and looking after your son. It must be such an ordeal for you at the moment as it was for my husband years ago. To a degree I was switched off to what was really happening as I was so ill but my husband went through the reality of having to watch me 24/7 and be on hand to nurse our newborn and care for our six year old son. Eventually he did have help from family.

Are you able to find support from friends, just to talk about how you feel rather than letting it build up in your head, or do you have family to talk to for support? It goes without saying that you can always 'talk' here as we all understand how hard it is. Are you still in contact with PSI for support?

Hopefully when your wife's medication takes effect she will feel more settled. I wonder if your wife was offered a review at the hospital to see whether the medication is working? I'm not sure about after care in Japan and all hospitals are very busy at the moment.

I hope your wife continues to feel a bit better. To know you are there for her will be such a comfort but do take care of your own health too.

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