Lost all hope

[Beckles30]

Has anyone on here lost their child due to PP, my ex took my daughter to his mothers for a visit and did not come back!…4 years on I’m still without my daughter and just have contact, it’s unbearable and soul destroying!

[Rachel_at_APP Partner APP]

Hi Beckles30,

I'm so sorry to read your post and hear that you have lost all hope. I wish I could fix it, and take away your pain for you it must feel unbearable what you have been going through for the past four years. This sounds like a horrible thing to have happen to you following PP.

It is good that you have contact with your daughter, but I have no doubt that speaking with her will also hurt as I imagine you want to be with her so very very much. Such a separation is so very sad and cruel my whole heart is with you.

Please don't lose all hope, I truly hope that one day things will improve for you and that you will be reunited with your much loved daughter.

Keep strong Beckles30, so that you can be there for your daughter, albeit from afar at the moment. I hope that one day you will be able to give her all the hugs in the world and when she is old enough, you will be able to tell her that her Mummy had a poorly head - but fought to get better. She will see what a strong woman you are, and such an incredible role model to her.

Take care Beckles30, sending you a huge hug.

Rachel x

[Kat_at_APP Volunteer]

Dear Beckles

I just wanted to drop you a line - I’ve been thinking of you lots recently and wondering how things were going. I’m so sorry to hear it’s all still so hard. Please please don’t give up. What your ex has done is so wrong - on every level. We are behind you - every woman who has gone through PP knows that this could have happened to any of us. I was lucky, right care at the right time etc, and my story is often trotted out in a textbook sort of way to explain what PP is and how we recover from it. But it is even more important that we hear your story - your and your daughter’s. Health care professionals need to know that this is why we campaign for MBU care for every woman who needs it, and the role of parent infant psychotherapy and so on. I know we’ve spoken about this before, and you still might not feel ready (or in a position legally) to tell your story. But I know that nobody could hear your story and not be utterly convinced that you should be properly reunited with your daughter.

Lots of love, virtual hugs and all my good wishes - stay strong (and be angry).

Kat x

[mikefff]

Stay strong, for your daughter. You will have a long life with her as she gets older, keep well. Things can change like you wouldn't beleive, I've been through it. As she's gets older she's will make her own decisions. Unfortunately your partner may lose out in the long term through his actions.

[coffeemom2]

Don’t lose hope. As long as a judge sees that you are working towards getting better and have made steps, a reunification plan can be made. Mostly, don’t lose hope bc your daughter will grow up and see that her mom gave up and that will hurt her. Motherhood is a marathon not a sprint. When she grows up and have kids, what if she ends up suffering from similar things as you? You have to show her that you didn’t give up, that you got through it, and she can too. Much love sent to you, you can do it!