My daughter gave birth to her baby boy in march (our 1st grandchild) I was at the birth and almost immediately saw a change in her. She was begging for help and asked not to be discharged she wasn't ready, but they discharged her home anyway. The birth itself was traumatic but she started fading away. She closed down, spoke so quietly, thought everyone thought she was a bad mum and would stare at you in such an evil way like she's seeing through you.She was admitted back to hospital with suspected infection, she would let the nurses near her git very suspicious of meds, she said they were trying to kill her with penicillin (she's alergic) when bloods came back with no infection markers she was assessed and is currently in a mother and baby unit. She's begging to come home buy we know she still isn't right. She refused to see anyone yesterday. I just feel so helpless seeing my girl go through this. I'd never heard of pp before this. We are on week 2 and have the meeting with drs Wednesday. I just want to hear some stories to get a better understanding of this please.
Postpartum psychosis : My daughter gave... - Action on Postpar...
Postpartum psychosis
Hello Roxxiiroo,
Welcome to this forum! I am so pleased you found APP.
Please let me reassure you, that your daughter is at the best possible place with appropriate health professional support.
You will be able to hear from other mum's/dad's daughters, who have been through this difficult stages and felt so helpless. I am sure a few mums will be able to talk about their experiences in the MBU.
My partner also never heard of PPP at the time and I was sectioned to a Psychiatric hospital 2 weeks after I gave birth to my son in 2010.
It is a traumatising experience for mum and recovery is in stepping stones. With the appropriate medication and surrounded by members of staff within the MBU she will gradually improve. It takes a while till the meds is going to work.
There are good and bad days when so poorly. Hallucinations come and go at the beginning stages and sometimes light bulb moments are not as frequent, because one is still battling with the psychosis.
When in hospital I struggled with many episodes. Unusual and extreme behaviour is reflecting the illness of Psychosis, often because of horrific hallucinations. Remember your daughter is not herself, but suffering with PPP.
I resonate with your daughter wanting to leave. When not in a closed unit I always sat in front of the door wanting to be with my baby and partner.
It takes time to heal! All in stepping stones. And just listening to the needs of your daughter and giving plenty of reassurance will help. Communicating with members of staff, but also taking care of yourself is vital.
In my case my partner was my full time carer for the first 6 months. You will get to know lots of wonderful and amazing mums on this forum. Luckily MBU's are now available. Your daughter will get better.
Lots of love and inner strengths x
Dear Roxxiiroo
I'm so glad you've reached out to us here in the APP community. We are all here to support you, and we know what a scary and confusing time it can be for the whole family when a mum has PP. You've done so well to get your daughter the help she needs - we know from our research that mums who have specialist perinatal care in a Mother and Baby Unit recover more quickly and feel more confident when they come home than mums treated without their baby alongside them.
We have two booklets that I hope will help to answer a lot of your questions about PP and your daughter's recovery. If you would like printed copies do email us app@app-network.org and we can post them out to you.
Recovery after postpartum psychosis:
app-network.org/wp-content/...
Guide for partners and families
app-network.org/wp-content/...
It can be especially hard as a grandparent with the worry for your daughter, missing your grandson and the grief of your own experience of becoming a grandparent being so different from what you expected. Go gently and kindly with yourself - we are all here to talk to.
I will write again this evening with information about our Zoom support cafe specifically for grandparents. It's so understandable to be feeling helpless in these early weeks - but you will get through this and your love and support will mean the world to your daughter in her recovery journey.
Warm wishes
Naomi
Dear Roxxiiroo, as Naomi and Pikorua have said, welcome to the forum, so glad you found this community. Most of the brave Mums who post here can so empathise with you and your daughter from their own personal experience. I did not suffer the traumatic illness of Postpartum psychosis myself, my daughter did out of the blue, six years ago, she is well now. I understand fully your feelings of helplessness at seeing a much beloved daughter suffer in this way, when it should have been the most joyous of times. It is such a shock and trauma for you too isn’t it. I can only say that awful as it seems at the moment your daughter can get well. My daughter was also admitted to a Mother and Baby Unit, it really is the best place to get the much needed rest and medical care. Each experience is different but sadly recovery can be up and down and take time but with the right care she can be well. At the moment all you can do is be there for her when you can, it will mean more than you know that she is surrounded by loving, supportive, understanding family and friends. I remember I took in a photograph, perhaps a favourite cardigan, little things to remind her.
I had not heard of PP either when my daughter became so ill, I do not know what I would have done without Ellie and APP being so understanding and reassuring and later for my daughter. Do write here any time if it helps. Do take care of yourself too. In the meantime, Congratulations on your first grandchild a precious baby boy to cuddle.
Sending you a hug. With warmest understanding best wishes
Judith x
Hi Roxxiiroo ,
Welcome to the forum. I hope it provides you comfort reading our replies.
I had PP in 2021 (out of the blue) and I just wanted to reassure you that your daughter is in a great place, mother and baby units do everything they can to help the mums and baby stay together and recover.
I remember my early days of being at the mother and baby unit I also didn’t want to see anyone and was confused. With time I recovered.
The message I wanted to say is be reassured your daughter is in good hands. I think you will have more reassurance when you attend or hear more from the mother and baby unit on wednesday.
PP comes out of the blue for a lot of us and thankfully mother and baby units are there to help us during these difficult times.
Just to let you know, we offer grandparent peer support if thats something you think would be helpful for you please don't hesitate to reach out to us.
Take care xx
Hello Roxxiiroo, a warm welcome to this forum. Congratulations on the birth of your grandchild. I am very sorry that your daughter is experiencing pp at the moment, but be reassured as other mums have said here, she is in the best possible place for her to recover.
I had pp in 2018 after the birth of my daughter, it came suddenly after the birth and I had to be hospitalised, first in a general psychiatric ward and then in an mbu. I cannot imagine your pain in seeing your beloved daughter go through this terrible illness. It is a fight that she will win as she is receiving the best possible care at the moment. Recovery was up and down for me, as it is for many of us on this forum. So do take heart, bad days are also part of the process, and something that the mbu is more than familiar with.
If your daughter won't see you some days, have a chat with the nurses to get an update on how she is doing. Sometimes leaving small things for her like NanaJudith has suggested can bring reassurance to her and be of some comfort in an environment that is not home.
Mums do recover fully from this traumatic illness, come back to themselves and live full lives. Things will start looking up in the near future.
Dear Roxxiiroo
Congratulations on the birth of your grandchild. How amazing to have been there for the birth too. Although it sounds quite traumatic, and certainly seeing your daughter grapple with this awful illness must be incredibly upsetting. I hope you’ve got good support at home for yourself, and are able to take good care of yourself through this.
I know APP has many grandma volunteers here on the forum and you’ve had some lovely replies already. Just wanted to share a little bit of my own story, as it sounds potentially quite similar to your daughter’s. I also experienced a lot of birth trauma - I lost a huge amount of blood, and had a nasty postpartum infection too. Combined with the amount of sleep I had lost to the very protracted labour I was in a very bad physical state. I had my first psychotic episode in the recovery room, around 24 hours after the emergency c section. Luckily I was still in hospital and I was able to be admitted to an MBU relatively quickly.
It’s great that you were there to witness the changes in your daughter, and to advocate for her care. She will really appreciate that, once she is recovering. Early days still but I’m sure she’s on the mend, and in the right place. It took me 12 weeks to be discharged but certainly for the last 4 weeks of that I was much better and spending most of my time at home.
I hope you get to put all this behind you soon, and really start to enjoy your new role as a grandparent!
Take good care,
Kat x
Roxxiiroo I feel your pain
I was hospitalised 26 years ago with PP and spent four months on an MBU.
I’m sure that things have moved on a lot since then as far as medication is concerned. I remember they tried me on a few different drugs until they found the one that suited me best. It can help to be prepared for that.
Please be assured that it is absolutely the best place for your girl to be right now and encourage her to take the medicine. Give her lots of encouragement about her parenting skills. You will see them develop as the days and weeks go by as she will receive lots of support from the staff.
Try to make sure you stay strong for her too. My own mum was so shocked by what she saw when I was taken into hospital that she took to her bed for several days and couldn’t face coming to visit me. She did pull round though as she saw that I was being well cared for on the MBU.
I hope that you don’t have too far to travel to visit her. My family had an hours drive to the hospital but they managed it between them. Encourage her friends to visit her too as and when she feels up to it.
Finally, introduce her to this forum. It really is a fantastic source of support and information surrounding PP. I wish it had existed when I was ill in the days before we all had access to the internet.
Sincere regards
Julie xx
Hi Roxxiiroo just popping back in to give you the dates for our next Grandparent's support cafes on Zoom:
Thursday 11th May, 6pm-7.30pm
Thursday 6th July, 6pm - 7.30pm
If you would like to take part please send me a DM here (chat icon) or you can email me app@app-network and I can send you the link to book and join the calls.
Thinking of you all for your first meeting with the Drs on Wednesday - these meetings are often called a "ward round" and I've put a few pointers below to help you know what to expect:
- You will usually have the chance to meet the Consultant Psychiatrist who will be responsible for prescribing medication and putting a plan of care together
- The consultant is responsible for the decisions each week about 'leave' which is periods of time away from the ward with family or staff. 'Escorted leave' means your daughter would be able to spend a few hours away from the ward going for a walk, to a cafe or shopping for example, but would need to have someone with her. This is often a member of staff initially and then with family members.
- Periods of 'home leave' and 'overnight leave' are usually part of the care plan later on to support your daughter and the family with confidence before a discharge date is set.
- You will often also meet a member of nursing staff who has worked closely with your daughter to talk about how she's been getting on each day
- Other staff you may meet are nursery nurses (who support with baby care and baby activities), psychologists (who provide talking therapy and can usually offer time for families to talk together about what's happened) and occupational therapists (who support mums with activities to regain their confidence and make memories whilst on the ward)
- Each shift your daughter will have a 'named nurse' who is overseeing her care, you can phone the ward any time to talk to the named nurse and share any of your concerns or just find out how things are going.
Hope things go well on Wednesday and you get a good feel for the staff.
Warmly
Naomi x
hello Roxxiiroo,
My heart goes out to you at this time and your post makes me think of my own pp in 1988 and how it came as such a shock to us all. My mum was very supportive but like you she just felt so shocked by the onset and the symptoms of pp. coming so out of the blue. I was sectioned after a traumatic delivery 5 days later and my mum had to quickly find bottles and baby milk. There was no MBU for me back then.
I am glad your daughter is in an MBU and she will get better and see brighter days. I think it is really one day at a time. I think the medication has moved on in the last 35 years and I hope that she will soon begin to feel better.
I can relate to what you have described, the suspicious feelings and the wanting to come home. There are so many aspects of pp. I think you will be able to find out a lot more now that you have reached out here. Plus some very encouraging accounts of women who have been there.
I hope in the midst of this that you and the family are able to enjoy your grandson . I certainly hope the meeting on Wednesday goes well and you are able to ask questions and understand more.
There are lots of us on this forum who had pp and recovered well and in my own case went on to have more babies without pp.
Sending warm wishes to you and your family. Helen
Hello Roxxiroo
Congratulations on the birth of your first grandchild. It is such a shame that the joy and expectation of a baby being born should be tarnished by such a traumatic experience. I hope the replies here have given you hope that your daughter will recover as although in the early days it is very hard, as you have probably read from the PP Insider Guide link, PP is a temporary illness.
I hope the appointment with your daughter’s doctor goes well tomorrow and will be reassuring. I had PP twice many years ago and as other mums here have written, recovery is a challenge but eventually your daughter will be well again. For now, she is in the best place, receiving specialist care in the MBU.
Another APP resource which might be helpful is “PP Soup” described as “a nourishing mix of all things Postpartum Psychosis” put together by a mum who suffered PP with input from other mums and professionals, a few years ago at ppsoupdotcom.wordpress.com ..... There you wil also find a BBC “Woman’s Hour” documentary “Unravelling Eve” with mums talking and sharing their experiences. However, if you are feeling fragile after so much upset recently it is probably better to listen when you are feeling stronger.
I can remember being vague during early ward reviews. I have since read from my notes that it took me a long time to get to the point of what I wanted t say. It must be heartbreaking to see your daughter in such distress .... I remember when I was sectioned to mixed general psychiatric care (no MBUs then) and heard my late mum’s words bouncing off the grey walls as she said, “She shouldn’t be in here, she’s only had a baby!” So I understand how distressing it can be for family and friends. Hopefully you will know more tomorrow about your daughter’s care plan but in the meantime please remember to take care of yourself too. 🌻
Hello Roxxiiroo
I am sorry to read your daughter is experiencing PP and I am glad you have found us so you can get more information to reassure that your daughter is in the right place.
Unfortunately as others have said it is very common for people to have no insight of their mental health and want to come home. When I was unwell with PP I would stand at the door with a suitcase and I would try and ring anyone to come and 'free' me. I know its hard when it's your loved one wanting to come home but try and stay strong with the reassurance that MBUs are an amazing place to help women battle PP and find themselves again.
Also don't feel disheartened if she doesn't want to see you. Sometimes it can be better for recovery to have some time with no visitors. I know I benefited from that at times.
Keep in touch 💜
Dear Roxxiiroo,
I do hope that the meeting on Wednesday with your daughter’s Doctors was helpful and that your daughter is more peaceful and responsive to her care plan and what the MBU is able to offer. I am so sorry I do know how difficult all this is for you and hope that you are now feeling feeling more hopeful. I remember my daughter too did not always want me there But please be reassured that it is the illness that is talking not your daughter, that it is a temporary state and distressing as it all is she can get better. Despite her traumatic start, I can truly say that my daughter has a special bond with her son (understandably, not for everyone but without recurrence she went on to have second baby) and daughter. It is early days for your daughter. However, as many of the wonderful Mums who post here can testify, with the right medical care, lots of love, support and understanding she will be restored to herself, enjoy her baby boy to the full and be the best Mummy.
A little mantra of mine is ‘This too shall pass’.
Do take care of you too. Thinking of you and wishing your daughter and all well.
Love and a hug from one granny to another
Judith x
Hello Roxxiiroo,
Just wondering how you and your daughter are doing? Here for anything you need
Dear Roxxiiroo,
Just to say think of you from time to time and hoping that your daughter is now feeling more peaceful and having better days. Hope you are doing ok too.
Love and best wishes
Judithx
Hello Roxxiroo
The past weeks must have been very stressful for you and your daughter. I hope she is now feeling more settled with an ongoing care plan in place. Please take care of yourself ... we are here for you. 🌹
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