Triggers from the past : Hello... - Action on Postpar...

Action on Postpartum Psychosis

3,027 members2,134 posts

Triggers from the past

Denizt profile image

Hello . Something I found interesting about how profoundly PPP or rather memories of it is embedded in our brains years later ! Recently my youngest daughter had her third baby and bring a besotted Grandma now I see a lot of the 3 little ones . Recently , when I was admittedly very tired from the chemo Im going through, and getting side effects etc so not in good nick, I had thoughts of the danger of the baby near a window . Irrational of course as baby is safe , well, loved, etc but when I had Ppp I was terrified Id throw my beloved first baby out of the hospital window and although there was no suggestion or inclination it did show me how deeply we have been affected by mental trauma. So years later just seeing this little angel triggered the reminder of the fears and psychosis I suffered . I mention this really to say how vulnerable our brains and minds are and we can’t expect others to understand how overwhelming Ppp is. I’m posting a photo just in case anyone is worried about baby Rowena ! Don’t be !

Denise x

7 Replies
Hannah_at_APP profile image

Hi Denizt, thanks for sharing your thoughts and insights into this. I think lots of people will relate, it’s amazing how our brains work isn’t it, it’s something I’ve definitely taken from my pp experience. I hope you are doing ok with the chemo too and thanks for sharing the lovely photo of your granddaughter. Take care, xx

Denizt, thank you for sharing! Congratulations to you and your family. And wishing you health and happiness xx

Hazello profile image

Hi Denise, interesting that these thoughts can come back after all these years but such a lovely photo, sorry that you're feeling tired with chemo etc but good to see you have some nice cuddles to keep you going!


Pikorua profile image

Hello Denise,

moments of insecurity do arise when coping with flash backs. PPP and the experience of care and recovery has been a traumatic one for my partner and I.

However, - our beautiful rainbow children make up for the suffering we had to endure...and its re-occurrence, because of our intricate mind!

I so very much admire your kindness and wanting to share your thoughts with us. You are an inspiration for your loved ones and we treasure your contributions and being part of the forum...Thank you...

A beautiful picture of you and your granddaughter...

Sending you energy and vitality...

Lots of love


I can totally relate!!!

Lilybeth profile image

Hello Denise

It's very strange how flashbacks can occur even after all this time for me too. Recently one of the lovely mums posted with a profile picture, which looked like the top of a building, and I found this quite unsettling for a while. It took me right back to a very bad time when I had no control.

I'm sorry your chemo must be a big hurdle for you at times but hope the love of your grandchildren is a big comfort. Take care. xx

Ellie_at_APP profile image

Dear Denizt

I meant to reply to this post sooner. It was lovely to see a photo of you with your grandchild. I hope you are doing OK, and coping OK with your chemo? It sounds like you have your beautiful family around you...

Yes, I find that memories of the PP episode can be triggered unexpectedly at times, as you say it is such a huge trauma that we have all been through. It was great you could recognise and rationalise the thought, and know where it was coming from, I find that helps me too.

Take care,

Ellie XX

You may also like...