Advice

[Lilykc123]

I haven't formerly been diagnosed with PP but I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and OCD.

I gave birth to my daughter in July 2016. I had a traumatic birth that I still find very hard to talk about. I was also homeless for three months before my daughters birth and was placed in temporary accommodation before her birth. This temporary accommodation was infested by fleas which made my OCD worse, also I feel that my mental well being was going down hill at this time as was starting to get paranoid about fleas.

After the birth, I still felt paranoid at home, thinking that I was seeing fleas everywhere, my OCD took over which led to me feeling depressed and suicidal. I haven't attempted suicide or self harmed, however during that time in my life it was tempting.

I hid this from everyone. I finally went to the doctors in December 2016 where I was given Sertraline 150 mg a day. I felt that in myself that the doctor didn't really take note of what I was going through and just signed me off as depressed (my OCD is from childhood).

I've been a lot better since having the stability of a permanent home since March 2017. However there are times when I feel like I'm going backwards, because I still have the paranoia but it varies on a day to day basis. I'm currently on a waiting list for CBT.

I wanted to ask for some advice because I'm pretty sure that the majority of my mental well being is down to pregnancy. And I was wondering if anyone else has had similar?

I'm not sure about going to my doctors because to be honest I wouldn't know what to say. I also think why it took me so long to tell anyone about how I was feeling was because I had a fear that social services would get involved. Not saying I'm a risk or anything to my child but you hear these horror stories of people that haven't done anything wrong but are ill and their children get taken away from them (which scared me a lot!)

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hi Lilykc123 and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have had a really tough time and I hope that even just writing it down has been helpful to you in some way, to get all your thoughts and fears out there. We are all "PP Mums" who have had an episode, and sometimes more than one, of an awful illness at what should have been the happiest time of our lives. It does feel so unfair doesn't it? In my recovery, I too had a lot of anxiety and know how debilitating and exhausting it can be. I was sorry too to hear about your housing difficulties and hope that things are a little more settled for you now in your new home.

I haven't had CBT myself so cannot share my experience with you but a number of others here have done, so I hope you will get some good shared info here

I also wanted to ask if you have come across the charity Maternal OCD? They have a website here: maternalocd.org/ and also offer information and support which might be useful to you as well.

Take care, xx