I had PP after the birth of my daughter in August 2015. I had horrible depression afterwards but by October 2016 I was feeling okay-ish, and then towards the end of the year I was actually feeling happy. Then, mid January I had a relapse, without having another baby. I was okay until about 3 weeks ago, and then I started to feel grumpy and down, and it's got progressively worse to the point where I am feeling like I can't cope with my life anymore. I am terrified of being left on my own with my little girl who is now nearly 21 months, and she is so full of energy, she needs a lot of attention and I just don't want to give it to her right now, but obviously, I have no choice.
All I really want to do is stay in bed, or not be alive... I just want to stop this awful feeling. I feel like this time it's more anxiety - that I'm not doing things right or well enough, and that feeling of the burden of responsibility of caring for and bringing up a little human, which I chose but I feel I don't want now/can't cope with it. I think the anxiety becomes overwhelming and then makes me depressed.
I went to the GP on Friday and was given some Sertraline (antidepressant) but told that it can take a month or two to kick in. I can't bear the idea of another month or two feeling like this. I'm a full-time mum so on my own Monday to Friday during the day with my little girl and I just hate it. I'm so anxious about tomorrow (my husband is here today as he is taking me to therapy).
Does anyone have any tips for how they dealt with their depression? Or stories of hope?