Help im being told im strong an im showing no weakness but really im relapsing an carnt tellnoone wat to do

[Bubbles1017]

Ive gone thru a lot just this start new year i got run ova was lucky to have my knee not ampetated plus i survied it cus ov all alchol in my system plus then going thru a mental section 2 then upta a 3 menral health section in a a hospital just like being locked away an forgotton to then doing 8 weks alova before finding the right tabs an right diginosie to now making out im fine as im beeing told by support workers an othas involved in my care that im a inspiration an im somebody whos foghted thru all that an ive got so well im able to do normal stuff to really inside im screaming to feeling lost inframe ov relasping ino but no one to explain too as i shud be proud an getting my son off care order but i feel like if i talk to any of services its not confidential as they all talk to keep everyone in loop wat to do im crashing an i gota smile nodd but i feel things getting worse an im going deeper into avong flash bk ov wats happened an i carnt get ore talk to anyone as people say all i do is talk about same ova so idunt no how to cope an find a way put need advice please i had postnatal physicios then now i av bipolar plus a broken knee on 8 meds a day an i keep getting memories bk ov horrible bits i want to forgett from being in bad place wen had accident is it normal now im reluving wat happened an nothing is working ifeel like im getting pulled under an i carnt get up to breath an i dunt wana feel this way please someone give me a way to look outa ore help me no how i can turn too

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Bubbles

I'm sorry you're struggling with all that you have been through. I think it would be a good idea for you to contact your support workers for help as the flashbacks must be very frightening. I was also sectioned after my sons were born and it was an awful experience to be locked away and not really understand what's happening.

Just try and remember the positive things that your support workers and others have said about how you have been an inspiration to come through all that trauma. Your son will also be in your care soon so you have done really well, even though you still have a knee injury from the car accident. Please try to tell your care team how you really feel so that they can help you. Perhaps you might need your medication adjusting if you think you are relapsing, so you might need an appointment with your doctor?

Take care and keep writing if it helps. We are all here for you.

[Bubbles1017 in reply to Lilybeth]

Thankyou i apreciate your advice xx

[suzannah0]

Hugs. We are all here to listen to you.

You know your thought patterns better than anyone else, so do find a doctor, psychologist who will listen to you, or a friend who can explain this to your GP with you .

The medical team dont talk about bad things about you to each other i am sure, just enough to help you (i find health services are too busy to talk often and services actually dont talk to each other in my experience).

Be kind to yourself. focus on breathing exercises (deep breathing) .

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Bubbles

I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. It sounds like you have been through such trauma, not just the PP but also your accident. It is not surprising at all that you are getting flashbacks and still struggling. But how amazing, and what an achievement that the care order has been lifted on your son, you should be really proud of yourself, and the amazing strength you obviously have.

As others have said though, it is really important for you to talk to the people supporting you. Try and be really honest. Is there a person you particularly trust maybe? I know that they will view it as a really positive thing that you are being honest and asking for help. They may be able to help you access counselling etc, if you aren't already?

PP is such a huge thing to go through, you are going to get through it, the flashbacks will stop, and you will be yourself again, it just does take time.

Take care X

[Bubbles1017]

Thankyou for all positive feeback makes me feel from each posts ive had bk mre strongervan feeling ill appoach servies now cus they are theyto support an help an i dunt need to deal alone again thanku Xx

[Hidden]

Dear Bubbles 1017,

I am so very sorry about the trauma and worries you have been through and I hope so much that you will be able to develop some trust in a professional, a friend or family member.

The medication is needed in order to help you at the moment and the illness creates all sorts of intrusive thoughts. I was sectioned and when released from hospital and still on medication I have had flash backs of bad experiences, especially when being around people. I have had like a mental block with certain people, authorities including strangers.

Trust has been a difficult one when being so poorly. However, I managed to develop a bond with my care coordinator. She has been helping and supporting me on a one to one and organised referrals for therapy, specialist people i.e. support worker, art therapist, support groups, links and information for self-management etc. In addition she always has explained and fought a tough battle with authorities in order to explain my case and establish my rights. My GP and my care coordinator always have been communicating with each other. When still on very heavy medication my care coordinator developed my care plan and I received the best after care including an incredible Psychiatrist, who was able to wean me off medication in one year (considering that I was going to be sectioned from 2-3).

I wonder whether you have a soul-mate, a friend or a family member, who could help you to link and make some connections with some useful places. There are some great charities and organised group sessions for babies and toddlers where mums can connect i.e. sure start...community places have leaflets for information and support.

You know, there are some great people out there. I could not have done it without them. The after-care of mine has been a very positive experience. Dear Bubbles, the only way is up and there is light...

Wishing you some very positive vibes...and a virtual hug.

Sabine

[Bubbles1017]

Thankyou hunnie ill try get to groups an find trust in workers glad u had a very positive outcome well done thankyou sharing ya story xx

[Hidden]

Thinking of you. Take good care. x