Bipolar an postnatal pysios

Hi im 31 i had my son in november and i ended up being missed doginosed an let outa hospital with ending in a tradegy ov being hit by a car losing my mind into a postnatal psyscios then left on a ward with alsomers while being only treated for my leg no medication i thought all the gravity had disappered i was thinking all people werr actors i was lost in some kind ov world i dunt rember most thankgod as i was in a right mess then was sectioned under section 3 into a mental health ward an given all diffrent drugs treatment i ened up losing 4 months ov my life into psyscious till diginosed then afta i got tablets thought was right for bipolar type 2 went to my mums still was alova in npt noing my own name to not even able to dress then sectioned again this time i decided every day to writing a book a bio of my day day life it got me thru thankgod im normal again on olanzpine 20mg an mirtazapine 15mg i lost friends family as wat i was saying an going thru they didnt understand an holded grudges id like to no anyone else have same ore similur plus im now down south trying to get my son puta foster care im taking meds but they make me into a zombie i dunt talk im not social no mre i have no real support . Was thinking of trying a mother an bby unit any ideads ore help into how ore advice to move forward an wud i eva recover no being able to not have my anti psycotic as i wana be recoved as i feel fine now just sick ov tablets boring life quite inside myself an no friends

16 Replies

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  • Hello Bubbles1017

    Welcome to the forum where you will find mums with shared experience who really do understand. I'm sorry to hear you were misdiagnosed and had an awful accident. You have done really well to come this far in your recovery.

    I had PP twice many years ago but no experience of bipolar. Taking medications daily can seem like a chore but if they are keeping you stable it's worth it. BipolarUK has a support line 0333 323 3880 which might be helpful to you, email info@bipolar.uk. They also have an e-community but the link isn't working for me at the moment.

    There are also APP Guides here "Recovery after Postpartum Psychosis", app-network.org/what-is-pp/... Perhaps your GP can signpost you to support where you will meet other mums or refer you for counselling. If you have a Sure Start group in your area they might be able to advise you.

    You will eventually fully recover from PP with the right medical care and support.

    Take care.

  • Hi bubbles . We are around the same age. I am 30 my name is Ang. When I had my daughter in April last year, everything was fine for the first 3 days and then I became really up and down one minute I was crying uncontrollably then happy and excited and I just put it down to the hormones of my milk coming in but as each night continued with only minutes of sleep if any I started to become scared and feel like more and more of a stranger to myself. I couldn't sleep, when my daughter slept I wouldn't sleep, I found getting dressed a real struggle , I felt like driving a car, going to the supermarket or doing paper work was completely foreign to me I felt like it was a brand new experience, everything felt brand new. It was terrifying. I started to feel like I couldn't get dressed I couldn't do anything, I thought my milk was poisoning my baby, I wanted her to stop crying I had thoughts of opening the window and putting her outside I had constant thoughts of running out in front of a car and I felt really really unsafe, especially at night time when I was awake all night I felt like I was losing my mind, I woke my husband and told him to call the police and that I needed to go away or something, I was shaking uncontrollably I was getting extremely hot and then freezing cold my body and mind just were struggling to cope with all the demands without any sleep and with no mental rest. I tryed to run out the door one day and then I was taken to mental hospital. I was on Olanzapine 20 mg's for 3 or 4 months and I too was like a zombie I was so tired and sluggish, for the first few weeks all I could do was hold my baby for an hour and go to sleep with her, whenever someone gave her to me I closed my eyes, because I wanted to escape the fact that I couldn't look after her. I had a lot of scary thoughts about death and suicide and then I slowly started to get better. I really hope you can get your child back from foster care and that you can get better. You definitely will get better! The medication is soo heavy but you need it at the start to make your mind and body rest so it can slowly recover from all the acute stress it's been under. Hope by sharing a bit about my experience it makes you see that you truly have all the support of the people on this forum. And that everyone understands. You will get better, if you want to ask any questions about anything else please do. It's been 1 year since I got out of hospital and I continued to get better and got off the medication, still struggle with self confidence and wander if I'm doing enough each day but so does everyone I think. You can do it! It's incredible hard where you are at right now. Sending lots of love to you. Ang

  • U no down to detail how i feel too much drama afta my name then trying to pull sunnit i ni for dazct i kauh i off now therese are datren styles save me xx

  • Moist alive fuck resyly aarroon made saved classedsed me

  • Arrh thankyou for reply all myfam agais me just waiting onemmm lol ag me wen i getdeposit anywYays hoe u gef bk on level my partner justca loose cannon xxx

  • Thankyou for replying its gave me to no im not just only one whos gone thru this an thankyou im fighting my best to get my son now xx

  • Hope you are going well my dear. You will get through this. Just focus on the day your in, don't worry about next week just get through each day. You will get your son back. He belongs with his mamma. All in good time. As long as he is safe and you are safe everything will work out when you are better. Sending all the love

  • Thankyou an u 2

  • Im getting my son trasferd to me i carnt wait now only few mre weeks then he be off order in my care im so excited hopefully get me into a normal day rpuntine Xxx

  • Hello Bubbles1017

    Good to hear from you. Very exciting for you that your son will be under your care soon. As you say, be very proud of what you have achieved in such a short time. Try not to worry about the flashbacks although I'm sure they must be frightening, especially with the car accident too but they will fade in time.

    I hope you will have support when your son comes home just to help with routine. Your GP should have info for help and advice if you need it. I think the Sure Start Centres offer advice to new mums if needed and perhaps a Health Visitor will pop in to see if you and your son are ok.

    Take care and please keep writing here if it helps.

  • Thankyou for all your positive feedback to my question makes me no i can carry on up wards an keep head high an achieve the rest ov my second chance i feel ive been given now an i wont eva go bk all about looking forward an keeping in high spirit for my son live each day if not for myself but for ones ive lost my sons an most ov all to be the good mum i am before i list myself thankyou Xxx

  • Hello Bubbles1017

    Good to hear from you. Try to build support around you to help you through your recovery. Perhaps you can contact the Bipolar UK e-community via the link given by Hannah?

    Also I hope your care team with support workers will be there for you as you need to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem. You're a great mum coping with so much so take good care of yourself.

  • Thankyou im learning im growing an making myself each day feel stronger an by talking bk wat i think werr no one hets me ore noes my busness to then listing to myself bk is making me now leave each bit ive gone to lose myself in all wats happened to now im at arms lengh having my bby down south far away new start beach supported were i am an every one i need is their supporting at each angle i feel blessed thinking i do have a lot wat othas dunt but im proud ov learning each day i turn a page thanku for your reply an saying how ive come across atong xx

  • Arrh thankyou for sharing your experience it relates to me in quite a lot ov ways only just come bk on here thankyou i keep having flash backs an i just wish all my head was numb but also ive had good news im getting my son transferred to me now in next few weeks he be bk living in my care everything seems to be clicking together just hope these flash bks go away just need my son keep in rountine an im soo happy an im proud wat ive acheived so far thankyou an hope u are doing well i just need to get mre self confidence now Xxxx

  • Hi Bubbles1017,

    The link to the Bipolar UK online community that Lilybeth mentioned is working for me now, here it is: bipolaruk.org/ecommunity

    I don't have experience of bipolar but wanted to say that after my PP episode nearly 8 years ago now, I too felt like you, sick of being on medication and desperate to move forward with my life. You will get there, it just takes time (frustrating as that probably is to hear, as I know it was for me!)

    Do you have good professional support in place? If you are under a mental health team it may be that they can look into a specialist perinatal service to support you too, or a Mother & Baby Unit ( as I know that was really critical in my treatment too). Perhaps there is a trusted professional you can speak to, I know my GP was really good and even now if there is anything I am worried about I can talk to them.

    Life can get easier and better, it just takes time. PP is a really tough illness but with the right support you can make it through to the other side. Take care, xx

  • Thankyou for reply all positive u said . Im bk on a high Xxx

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