Hi everyone. I've written a few times I the forum but just to recap about myself, I'm a 35 year old mother of four boys. My youngest beautiful boy is 9 months old. I am currently in recovery from ppp.
Whilst going through recovery, I think i can now pin point when I started to become ill. I believe my illness started throughout my pregnancy and then continued when we brought our baby home. I hadn't slept for five nights after giving birth, I was breastfeeding on demand and I was trying to be superhuman. At least I felt like I was. I remember that first night when we brought Jacob home. He wouldn't settle and I just broke down. My partner was amazing. Things pretty much improved from there and I was on a high for about 6 months. But I couldn't keep it up. I don't know what happened around the six months mark but I couldn't keep up being this ' perfect mum' to four boys because she just didn't exist. From Jacob being 6 months to present day, I have been through the depths of hell and back. Frightening hallucinations, hearing voices. It was awful. It has taken a lot of input from my home treatment team and my psychiatrist to finally get my medication right.
My baby is now just over 9 months old and I'm now in recovery...but....what now? I'm feeling so emotional and cry at adverts on the telly. I'm also a lot heavier due to the anti psychotic meds and new anti depressants. The problem is I can't even walk the same due to my weight ( I'm almost 20 stone). Please someone tell me it gets better?