Recovery

[Mwood]

Hi, I was hospitalized with pp for 37 days back in May/June this year. I have now weened off the antipsychotics, I am just still on lithium, but I still don’t feel at all like myself. I can’t take care of my kids or hold a conversation. Does anyone else have any recollection about how long recovery took and how long until you felt like yourself again?

[Teresa_K_S Volunteer]

Hi Mwood,

Wow you were Ill in May/June and you have already been able to come off some medication. I know you don't feel like yourself but you are doing fantastic. It can take a long time to fully recover but you will get there. Try not to put too much pressure and expectations on yourself as it's still early days.

I was so keen to be well and come off medications that I used to reduce my meds myself. This ultimately led to me having a relapse 6 months after my postpartum psychosis.

I cant say exactly how long it took for me to recover but it was a long process and a big learning curve in how to look after myself.

Be kind to yourself as you have been through so much. I can understand you wanting to have hope by knowing how long but I promise you that you will get there in your own time

Hugs

Teresa x

[Revans86 Volunteer]

Morning Mwood,

So so sorry you had PP this year. It’s an awful illness isn’t it. You’re so brave and doing really well to be posting here. I posted too when I was discharged from an MBU in January 2017. I felt really low, exhausted and lonely. I struggled with wanting to feel like the Mum I’d wanted to be.

But I did, in time, feel better. I don’t remember an exact day, and everyone’s recovery is so personal, it really does vary as I understand it.

You’re doing really well to be where you are already, take heart that you’re home, that your medication has been reduced. But do seek help from the people and professionals around you.

Have you looked at the PP insider guides on the website here? app-network.org/what-is-pp/...

I found them helpful.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, take each day as it comes. Sometimes I found facing a day was too much. So I took hour blocks, and just reassured myself that I’d get there.

You can do it, we believe in you!

Thinking of you and sending hugs,

R x

[Pikorua Volunteer]

Hello Mwood,

welcome! I am so happy that you found this APP forum so early into your recovery.

I have had PPP in 2010. I still was poorly and very lonely for 5 years until I found like minded mums, who could share compassion and knew what I had experienced.

My recovery was slow, because of my undiagnosed Bipolar for 9 yrs and the loss of two loved ones. I always was so eager to work with deadlines.

I have had to learn that PPP has been a very traumatising illness and that we are all very unique and that the approach has to be in stepping stones. I believe my PPP recovery via after care was managed quite well with a support network. I could not look after my baby and my partner had to take care of me and my son full time. (1yr)

I weaned of meds with the help of a wonderful Psychiatrist. I believe I was extremely poorly, because of the ill-treatment in hospital...The only drugs I responded to were traditional ones.

Like you I was seeking help and support and joined a support group at the time. After 10 months I started to go to a baby massage group once a week...I walked and cycled a lot. I wish there would have been an MBU nearby,-maybe my struggles would have been easier to cope with.

Look after yourself, you are doing exceptionally well...see whether there is some sort of support network within your community and via Partnership. I did not communicate...since talking to APP, my lid was finally opened and yes, I am happy with my unique little family.

Got to dash!

x

[Butterfly93]

Hi Mwood,

First take time hun, we all recovered at different stages in our life’s. Recovery is pretty much different for everyone hun.

Don’t be too hard upon yourself, take each day as it comes; Trust me in no time you will feel like yourself again.

Welcome to the forum ! This place is amazing and very supportive xx

[Maria_at_APP Moderator]

Hello Mwood,

I am so sorry you have suffered ppp this year. It is a big trauma you have endured so unfortunately it takes some time to recover. You are doing fantastically, already having come off some meds. It has taken me a year to come off the antipsyochotics after ppp with my first baby, so you are doing brilliantly!

I was feeling like you back in the early days, I couldn't focus enough to have a normal conversation, it was as if I was completely devoid of thoughts to express. I needed help to draw a simple list of things to do every day, from shower to breakfast.

Caring for a baby while going through it felt unsurmountable at times. But with time it gets better. I remember one day realising I was actually enjoying caring for my baby. I was even able to start work again a few months down the line, and I can say with some confidence I am back to my old self - with the addition of being a mum and having gained greater self awareness.

I wish you all the best on your recovery journey, take it each day at a time, don't feel you have to meet a deadline, give your mind time and space to recover. You are very brave for reaching out and sharing your experience, you will find like minded mums on this site happy to share their own experience.

[Hidden]

Hi, from memory I think I was on medication for 6 months and was probably around 9 months when I started to feel more like myself again, hopefully you have a good support network around you, try and get as much help as you can from family etc and.like others have said try to take each day's it.comes and not put pressure on yourself. I was living away from my family and contacted a charity called homestart where a lady would come out to me once a week and we would go places together or she would just sit and chat with me, she was an absolute godsend if you want to find your local charity their website is home-start.org.uk/, there is light at the end of the tunnel, xxx

[Hazello Volunteer]

Hi Mwood,

I think that previous comments have already said this but basically everyone is unique. However i would say that i was feeling the way you describe for much of the first year. I thought i was getting better and came off medication but going back to work triggered a relapse in insomnia and anxiety. With hindsight my confidence had really been shaken by being ill and i didn't have the resilience yet to handle a difficult job on top of parenthood. Leaving my job led to me feeling really depressed for a while but gradually i would say i felt more like myself after my son was about 2.5 years old. Now he is 3.5... So i have started all over again and am currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second!

You will feel better but it's hard to say when it will happen. Try to look out for moments where you feel more engaged or like you're laughing and take note of them. If there's something you notice yourself enjoying, do more of it! I took up running and sang in a choir. It it may be that you still don't feel like you can relax and enjoy anything yet, try to remember the things you would have enjoyed before getting ill and do those things.

You've also i presume been through something quite traumatic. I found counselling helpful and gave me chances to cry and say out loud all the things i had been thinking/ feeling whilst ill which i couldn't always talk about with friends or family.

It's really tough recovering whilst being a parent, i felt a lot of guilt about not being the kind of mum i wanted to be because i was anxious and depressed.

Things can and will get better, and i hope that you can feel encouraged that you're not alone in feeling sad and frustrated about it!

Hazello xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Mwood

I hope the replies here have been helpful. As others have said, I think you have done really well to be off your antipsychotics in such a short time. I think we are unique as we have all taken differing amounts of time to recover. My PP episodes were a long time ago when there were no MBUs and mental health was in the shadows.

Are you in the UK? If so, do you have a perinatal mental health team supporting you until your baby is one year?

I think we forget how traumatic PP is and how much we have fought to be well. Try not to expect so much of yourself as it's early days into your recovery. It took me a long time to find my place again. With good medical care and support you will feel better in your own time. Take good care, you have come a long way.

[Hidden in reply to Lilybeth]

I do feel like we are pretty lucky that society are a lot more understanding of these things these days, thank god, even though I still find it really hard to talk about with ppl and have felt really judged as a parent, even by my own family, I really feel for mums years ago when there wasn't much support, it must've been pretty rough, we just need a bit of extra support and that's nothing to be ashamed of, x

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Hidden]

Hello Florence

I also think it's good that mental health doesn't carry as much stigma these days as it did years ago. I'm sorry you still find it really hard to talk about it with people and felt really judged as a parent. Can I ask how long it has been since your PP episode?

I also found it very hard to talk to people about PP until I found the forum and realised that I had no choice and it wasn't my fault. I'm sorry you have felt really judged as a parent by people who , thankfully for them, have not been in our shoes.

Have you tried Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) just to talk openly to a therapist about your feelings and put them into perspective? Or mindfulness seems to be a popular therapy? I think you could ask your GP for advice and to refer you? As you say, we just need a bit of extra support and it certainly isn't anything to be ashamed of. Take care and please write again if it helps. x

[Hidden]

Yeah I've tried lots of things, CBT works well but struggle to keep it up, maybe a new years Resolution for next year, thanks for replying, have a lovely Xmas everyone on here xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Hidden]

Hello Florence83

Thanks for taking the time to reply. It's good that CBT works well when you can find the time to keep it up I think mums tend to put things off, especially at this time of year, to make sure everyone else in the family is ok.! Hopefully you might revisit it in the new year and make time for yourself. Have a lovely Xmas. xx

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello Mwood

How are you? I hope you found the replies here helpful. Do you have support from the perinatal team until your baby is on year? I really hope you are having better days and the support you need. Thinking of you .... take care.