I made a very close connection one of the nurses at the mbu

[chezza1982]

Hi ladies

i suffered from pp after the birth of my second daughter last year and i was in a mother and baby unit for 4 and a half months.

I made a very close connection with one of the nurses. She was absolutely amazing and helped me so much in my darkest moments. She was always there for me to talk to when i needed reassurance, which was alot. She is absolutely a one in million and i dont know what i would have done without her. As i was getting bettet we formed a friendship, it felt like she had become like a family to me like a second mum.

I have been to visit her at the ward a few timss but i miss her terribly. I miss her every single day, im finding it very hard. She was such a big part of my life and now she isnt and i think what i find hardest is that there is no way that we can be a part of each others lives any more which makes me sad.

Does anyone else have any experience of this at all. I thought that it wud get easeier with time but i am just missing her more and more .

[Lilybeth Volunteer]

Hello chezza1982

I'm so glad you found this forum and hope we can all offer some comfort.

I'm sorry you're sad about losing the bond you had with a Nurse, who seems to have been a very good listener, during your ups and downs with PP. It does make all the diffference when someone is there when you need to talk. I had general psych care during my two PP episodes many years ago. So I didn't really bond with a particular Nurse, although they were all very kind and helpful.

I suppose the difference is that there is much more focus on you as a patient in the MBU, whereas at home there is so much to do that sometimes it is difficult to make time to sit and chat with family or friends. Have you been able to say how you feel to your family? Did you make any friendships with the other mums in the Unit who perhaps you could meet for coffee and a chat now and again?

If you are still having ups and downs I think it might be an idea to speak to your GP. There are interventions available, such as CBT. I found this helpful as it's a way of vocalising everything you are feeling and the therapist can plan ongoing sessions for as long as you need to talk.

There are many virtual friends here to help you.

Take good care of yourself.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

HI Chezza

Thanks for posting. It sounds like you got amazing support from this nurse in the MBU. I don't really know what to say, it is really tough when someone has been such an important part of your life and recovery, someone you relied on, particularly in that intense environment of the MBU. I too was in a MBU three years ago and I still think a lot of a few staff there who I made strong connections with, I think they will always be with me and I will remember them forever. Sometimes I long to see them again, they were such an important part of my life.

I don't think I had as strong a connection as you have with one person though, from what you say.

I wonder as well, like Lilybeth, if you have friends, family, support around you? Is there anyone who can be a kind of mentor / support for you? I was somehow lucky to have become particularly close to a friend who has a daughter who is bi-polar, she has been so important for me through the most difficult times, and she's now my son's godmother, and is a really special person in my life. But I know I am lucky to have her in my life and it's not always easy to make those connections.

I hope you are OK, and that this forum may also help you a bit.

Take care

[Lilybeth Volunteer in reply to Ellie_at_APP]

Hello chezza1982

Just wondering how you are? It's not easy to move on from a friendship, especially someone who was so understanding in your hour of need.

Perhaps having a chat with your G.P would be a good idea, as I suggested in an earlier reply. Try not to isolate yourself, just vocalise your feelings, maybe to a family member or someone else from your circle of friends

Take good care of yourself.

[Hannah_at_APP Administrator]

Hi chezza1982, hope you are doing OK. It's tough when we meet people at times in our life when we perhaps aren't 100% and then aren't able to maintain the connection. The fact that you made a connection with the staff member does show she was good at her job in empathising with you and supporting you through the PP. Is there anyone else you can talk to about your feelings, perhaps your GP like others have mentioned?

Do you have any support in the community now you're discharged from hospital? I had support from a CPN when I returned home from the MBU, where I spent over 3 months when I had PP in 2009. She was about the same age as me and we had various things in common; we just chatted, drank coffee and ate cake (!) although I can now see that she was supporting me in subtle ways, it didn't seem like it at the time. I realise we weren't friends, as she was doing her job, but it felt like being with a friend rather than a health professional, so I know how you feel in a way. I'm lucky that I had some other friends who have been there for me, so I don't miss the nurse as such as you have described. I really hope it's getting easier for you with the passage of time - recovery from PP does take time, but does get easier.

Take care, and feel free to come on here and chat with us any time, x