Daughter struggling

[Chickpea_1]

Hi - my daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby boy around 8m ago. It is her second child. She had what we know now was a post partum psychosis within 24hrs of giving birth. We also now realise that the extreme anxiety she experienced after her first child was probably also a psychosis, and she has had on and off mild mental health issues since her teenage years. She has recently been told she has borderline personality disorder and Bipolar too. We are currently really worried as the medication that she has been given seems to be making her worse and she feels like there will be no end to her feeling bad. Has anyone else struggle to get the on right medication for them? How long did it take to get sorted?

[Jenny_at_APP Partner]

Hello Chickpea_1,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for reaching out to us here. My name's Jenny, I'm one of the peer support coordinators at APP.

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter experienced PP after the birth of her second child, and was also unwell after her first. It's so good she has your support and that you're looking out for her like this.

I'm sorry that the medication your daughter has been put on since her recent diagnoses seems to be making her worse. I don't have any ongoing diagnoses since experiencing PP (12 years ago now) but know it can take some time to find the right combination and doses of medication - everyone's so different. Side effects when starting on new meds can be rough too and take a bit of time to settle.

Is your daughter in close contact with her mental health team while making these changes? Hopefully things will settle but do encourage her to be open with them about how she's feeling as it might help guide them as they try and find that right balance for her.

I'm sure others will reply and share some relevant experiences with you. Take good care and thank you again for reaching out here.

Best wishes,

Jenny x

[Chickpea_1 in reply to Jenny_at_APP]

Thank for you kind words Jenny. Since I made my original post things have sort of come to a head as we had to take her to A&E as she was so bad and feeling suicidal at times. She was already being supported by the perinatal mental health team but had also sought the support of a private psychiatrist through her work benefits package as she didn’t feel able to wait for potentially several months for an appointment in the NHS. Following our visit to A&E they have recognised the seriousness and urgency of the situation. Her meds have been changed (this will be the third drug tried) and they have also given her something to help calm her in the short term. We have had to see one of the mental health team 3 days in a row so far and today she seems to be showing signs of improvement. She is currently staying with us at her request rather than her husband and children, as she is finding being around the youngest child, especially difficult as he is at quite a clingy stage. I am hoping that her feelings will continue to improve in the next few days as we live 20m away from her home. We are taking her back to visit each day so she can keep see them all and hopefully she will come round in time and they can be together as a family unit. Here’s hoping the new medication works well. Thank you again for your support.

[Jenny_at_APP Partner in reply to Chickpea_1]

Hello Chickpea_1,

Thank you for your reply, I'm sorry things came to a head like that but it's good to read that additional support has been put in place and you are starting to see some signs of improvement. I hope this continues and things feel more settled for you all soon.

It's wonderful you are able to support your daughter in this way. I hope she is able to make the transition back home as she starts to feel more level, comfortable and confident again.

Do take good care of yourself as well.

Best wishes,

Jenny x

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Chickpea-1,

I am so very sorry that your daughter has suffered with mental health problems with Postpartum Psychosis, it is such a shock and trauma for her and you too. I am so glad that you have found APP and this forum. You and family will find empathy and support here from all the Mums with lived experience kindly and bravely sharing. I did not experience PP myself, my daughter did after the birth of her first baby seven years ago, thankfully she is well. Hopefully as Jenny said, you will have replies from Mums with more relevant experience and as she also said your daughter is fortunate to have you caring a supporting. Each Mum is different but sadly recovery from PP can take time and be up and down and finding the right balance of medication can be a trial. I hope that your daughter and partner are in good communication with her medical team and that signs of progress to her recovery show very soon.

Don’t underestimate the value of your love and support for your daughter it will mean a lot, Hoping you and your daughter have other understanding family and friends. Congratulations on your beautiful baby Grandson, I hope that your grandchildren give you joy in the sadness and anxiety for your daughter. Take care of you too, worry is exhausting, I know.

Wishing your daughter well. Warm best wishes

Judith x

[Chickpea_1 in reply to NanaJudith_APP_Vol]

Thank you for your support Judith. I have provided an update in my response to Jenny which you might like to read. I will update again when there is news.

[Lizzo30]

Flaxseed oil in capsules are excellent the flaxseed oil will calm everything down without side effects Check with healthcare team

[Chickpea_1 in reply to Lizzo30]

Thanks Lizzo30 - we will check.

[Survivedwithcolor]

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's struggles with PP. You're very caring to be looking at forums like these trying to find help for her.

I had PP over 20 years ago and yes, I struggled mightily with the medications. They had so many severe side effects and caused a lot of weight gain, and didn't even control all the symptoms. I complained to my psychiatrists every single time I went to them about how much I hated taking those medications. I took many different types, and because I had been somewhat misdiagnosed, I was kept on them for much longer than I think I needed to be. There isn't an easy answer. Only the physicians can really take her medical history into account and decide what is available and appropriate for her. Many people on this forum struggle with antipsychotic medications.

As time went on, I was able to obtain newer, better antipsychotics with fewer side effects, and eventually got to a good enough place that I got off them altogether. It could take time for your daughter to get to that point. She is lucky to have your support. There is probably very little you can do about what medications she has access to and what the psychiatrists will prescribe, but eventually things will get better, she will stabilize, and she will recover.

[Chickpea_1 in reply to Survivedwithcolor]

Thank you so much. I think it will be helpful for her to hear about your experience.

[Alpav]

So sorry to hear that. I had PP after my first and only child. We knew I was at higher risk because I have a bipolar 1 diagnosis.

The charity Bipolar UK had a lot of resources you can access on their website. They also have a support phone line that both you and your daughter (and other friends and family) can access. It can take a while to find the right combination of meds, but I have had long periods of stability when this is right. Good luck and thinking of you.

[Chickpea_1 in reply to Alpav]

Thank you Alpav - we will take a look at those resources.

[Ellie_at_APP Partner]

Hi Chickpea_1

Welcome to the forum. I'm so glad you've found us. I'm Ellie, I'm one of APP's national peer support coordinators, I had postpartum psychosis myself in 2011 after the birth of my son.

I'm so sorry to hear your daughter is struggling with her mental health, and it has been hard to find the right medication to make a difference. That is good that you have seen some improvement the last few days, and have got her some more support, and that she is staying with you at the moment. I'm sure that will be helping her so much, I know how important my parents support was when I was poorly. I hope she will improve enough soon to be able to go back home.

It is a lot for you to cope with though.

I wanted to let you know that we do have support for Grandparents. I can link you with one of our grandparent volunteers, whose child also had postpartum psychosis, for support. Jenny or I are also so happy to talk with you, if you'd find this helpful. We also have a Grandparents group that meet on Zoom every couple of months. We are next meeting in a couple of weeks on Tuesday 9th July, 6pm -7pm. If you are interested do get in touch with me, [e-mail] . No pressure of course, only what feels right for you.

Take care Chickpea_1 and I hope you will see improvement in your daughter over the next few weeks. She will come through this and get better. Many of us on the forum are examples of this.

Ellie X

[NanaJudith_APP_Vol Volunteer]

Dear Chickpea-1,

I have been thinking of you, please don’t ever feel any pressure to reply personally. Thank you for pointing me to your post to Jenny, I was glad to read your update. I am sorry that your daughter is still sadly struggling (we also had a traumatic rush to A&E), so good that she now seems to be getting the attention she needs and that you see a little improvement in her health. You are doing an amazing job caring for your daughter and travelling every day, exhausting. PP Mums often gain benefit in their recovery from a stay in a Mother and Baby Unit and I wonder if anyone has mentioned this. Also have you seen the APP Insider Guides on the Website, (paper copies also available) lots of information, when you have time.

So difficult isn’t it for you and all your family, seeing a much beloved suffer in this way, be assured as the Mums here are testament, that your daughter too can be well again. I hope you have time to rest and that you see more improvement soon.

Thinking of you, with warm best wishes

Judith xx