I'm George Fest, Lietunant Colonel, US Army and have been struggling.

[festgs477]

Ever since my fifth and last deployment to Iraq in 2011 - i have had an extremely difficult time trying to reintegrate back in society - I suffer from extreme anxiety and basically feel like a failure - I take medication and am hopefull in time my symptoms will ease, but feel like every day is a fight and struggle.... Anyone else out there dealing with the same issues?

[1973m]

Firstly, you are so not a failure!

Secondly , welcome and I hope you find lots of support on here .

Thirdly, thank you for all you’ve done in the army !

I’m sure it’ll take time and I’ve know idea or experiences of what you must have been through but I have and do suffer with anxiety and with time , patience, self belief and support you can get through it . Good luck .

[b1b1b1]

Yes, many people here are troubled by anxiety and depression. It might be good to look into talk therapy, as well. Welcome, and I think you will get more suggestions and support from many others.

[Davidatp]

Hang in there Col. I’m retired Navy. Spent most of my time on submarines and have some issues too. I take pain pills and Klonopin/remeron for anxiety.

God bless and Keep the faith. Thank you for your service!

[Jeff1943]

You rose to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel so you must have done something right, you are not a failure.

Anxiety disorder is a perfectly normal reaction when someone has gone through a long period of stress, worry, overwork and/or disappointment. Eventually the nervous system has had enough and becomes over sensitised. In this state it plays tricks on us: it exaggerates every small problem ten fold, it can make us think we have some serious illness when we haven't, it gives us panic attacks, agoraphobia, claustrophobia, the list is endless.

And so we start fighting these symptoms and that's where we go wrong: fighting causes tension and stress, our sensitised nerves need less not more of that if they are to recover. As a soldier your first instinct will have been to fight this thing. But has fighting it done you any good? I think not.

Recovery lies in doing the opposite. Stop fighting your anxiety, instead ACCEPT it for the time being. Surrender to it. Agree to co-exist with it for the moment. You have experienced it long enough in a state of tension, now experience it for a while longer in a state of calmness.

When the bad feelings come welcome them for this is your chance to destroy them. Imagine every muscle in your body going limp. Start with your jaw, then your arms, your legs, your body and finally imagine there's a big muscle in your brain and feel that going limp and relaxing too. Hold that feeling.

If you do this and remain calm instead of reacting with fear you stop flooding your sensitised nervous system with fear hormones on which the sensitivity thrives. Slowly they begin to recover and the days are numbered for the bad feelings whatever they may be.

This is the Acceptance method for recovery from anxiety set out many years ago by an Australian doctor named Claire Weekes. It has enabled untold thousands to reclaim their lives.

Lieutenant Colonel Fest, may I suggest that you go to Amazon and search for a book titled 'Hope and help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes. Go to the reader reviews of which there are many hundreds and read a few: 90% rate her book either Very Good or Excellent and the phrase 'saved my life' occurs in many of these reviews.

If you decide to read this book it will immediately provide understanding and reassurance - and a road plan for recovery. Bewilderment will cease and you will soon recognise yourself in the pages of her book.

If you only read one more book in your life let this be that book. I wish you God's speed for your recovery.

[festgs477 in reply to Jeff1943]

Thank you so much for your tboughtful message - yes I'll take your advice regarding readi g the book you mentioned- again - Thank you for reply.

[stde]

Just had to comment....

God bless...

[Findingme]

Dear George,

I sympathise with your struggles. I myself went through a difficult time, under stress for a long time, isolated and sometimes in fear for my life. I experienced anxiety and depression afterwards, and felt guilt for not having been able to cope better. At one and the same time I also had the effects of the menopause to deal with, which can trigger anxiety and depression, moods swings, poor concentration, forgetfulness, brain fog and irritability, and it has been hard for me to process the after effects of my experience as I might normally do. I did not get support from family as this all coincided with my mother getting ill with dementia. In fact it made me feel I could not explain my mental problesm to them for fear of adding to their worries, so I tried to hide it and got called unsympathic when I could not deal with helping out with Mum as much as I normally would do. It took me a long time to seek help which is such a shame. Looking back I should have spoken out more, got help earlier and not taken on quite as much as I did.

Now I am learning to be less critical and demanding of myself and to stop feeling too proud to admit I am human too, something that is difficult having been brought up by a perfectionist father. I still have not told anyone close to me about what I have been through as I have been hurt by their lack of support and sympathy, but this site has been a great help as it allows me a safe space to offload. Is this good? Maybe, but I am missing out on the chance to let people close to me help me, and to get to know me better. I just still have trust issues though. I hope you find it easier to expain to your own family now about how you are coping / not coping, and I hope they can understand.

For me, silly things like just going shopping became a problem as it felt so banal and unimportant compared to what I had experienced that I felt I could not concentrate on it, plus large shops felt too big and noisy and my concentration levels being so poor I could not make decisions. I then punished myself for my perceived failure to complete a simple task. This inner turmoil triggered anxiety attacks and the whole issue became much bigger. We have been though a strange period of eating weird things while I work on it. Luckily it is not a life threatening issue, and we never starved. Seeing the funny side helps a lot.

I have also had a lot of anger in me about what happened, which had kept my anxiety levels up. Once I started on anti-depressants I found this anger beginning to drain away, and I got more of a relaxed view on life. My doctor tells me my brain chemicals are returning to more normal levels which is a relief. Is it worth you getting some blood tests to check if your hormone levels are ok, or other tests, in case you too are suffering from a change in anything? Counseling might help you deal with any other issues you are experiencing too.