I know my anxiety was triggered by hormone imbalance. Then my son left for a 17 day vacation with his dad (he has 6 days left). While my anxiety "attacks" have changed form - they are still there. Now.. I walk around with a constant nervous feeling. Almost like high stress.
The ONLY time I'm NOT feeling anxious is when I forget about it and that happens when I'm occuppied. But.. when I stop and I think night is coming.. I get stressed thinking about the possibility of the anxiety coming back.. and that CREATES the anxiety.
I'm stuck in my own mental hell.. and I KNOW it's mental.
I keep telling myself that it SHOULD get better when my son returns.. because I do believe a lot of my "stress" and my "anxiety" is related to my son being so far for so long. Now.. he has gone on trips with his dad - for like almost 2 weeks to Florida and I didn't feel this way.
I also think it's also me NOT being a part of such a HUGE event in his life that is causing me to feel this way on some subconcious level. I know I shouldn't feel that way.. but I do.
I finally got sleep last night - felt GREAT this morning.. went on a long walk.. managed to remain "calm" most of the time.. BUT at the end of the day I'm just WORN DOWN from MENTALLY constantly trying to refocus myself. I gave in just now and took half a xanax because i don't want it to build so much that Im' a wreck later when I need to be "calm".
But I also have a dull headache. Don't know if that's from the Xanax I took yesterday (I took 1/2 a pill at 3pm and the other half at around 8pm before bed) OR if it's just from me mentally exhausitng myself working hard to keep a positive mental outlook.
The thought of repeating this ALL OVER again tomorrow.. just increases that anxiety. How do you end the cycle?
Better to have anxiety or be addicted to tranquillisers?
Is this going to last forever or will I get better 
A better day to be positive
Will I ever feel better?
