The weather can't make its mind up, it has been freezing cold for ages, and then suddenly, we have a bloody heat wave! Hot weather is a great recovery tool for some, but for me, I can't cope and get very stressed, especially at night! I've just sat outside with my guinea pigs, a cup of tea and a fag, it was quite nice but hated all the bugs crawling all over me, EW! So I'm back inside now with my OH playing on the Xbox haha! (I'm an Xbox addict, he hates it, because I'm better than him!) 
I went to my nan's on Saturday evening for a BBQ in the nice weather, it was very nice and the food was fab, as always, but my younger sister made a scene and we had to leave after 2 hours of being there, I'm sick of it. She always complains that she has 'anxiety' over EVERYTHING, especially going out anywhere, but me and my family know she's seen us use it as an 'excuse' and she's playing on it to get out of it. One minute she'll be all for going out, and then the next, she starts throwing her weight around and taking it out on my mum, this is normally after she doesn't get her own way, we know 'anxiety' is just an excuse for her. She's been evaluated by mental health professionals, and they have said they can't see a problem, apart from the fact her problems are behavioral.
She hasn't been to school for 6 months, and isn't planning on going back, she's always hated it and we are trying to do everything we can, but she won't budge and it's my mum that's getting bullied by social services and my sisters school for her not attending! Yet, both services have been no help to her, my mum is struggling on her own, which is why I go downhill as I have to step in and take the lead. My sister still doesn't listen to me, but she will not get gobby to me or gob off at my mum when I'm in the room because she knows I will kick off, I don't take any crap.
You've all probably heard that I am struggling with an eating disorder at the minute, I don't know what it's classed as because nobody wants to know about it, it's just another problem that costs them time and money. Well over the past two or so months, my sister barely eats, and made a huge fuss at the BBQ and started crying and wouldn't eat, she just sat there complaining about how 'fat' she is. She is bigger than her friends, but she certainly isn't fat, I was exactly like her at her age and I was called fat a lot, but looking back, I was nowhere near, I just grew faster than them! I'm a bit piffed to be honest because anything I do, she copies, like the codeine addiction, she's started taking them every day now too! I try very hard to hide all my flaws, I never talk about them with her, but I do with my mum and she must have over heard.
You're all probably reading this and thinking I'm being dramatic and making her out to be a complete cow, but I'm not exaggerating, this is her all in one! We went out in town about 1 year ago, I have horrible social anxiety in packed situations, like the city center, and I didn't make a scene (because I don't like to complain) and said to my mum I felt anxious, so could we move to a quieter place. 10 minutes later, my sister was like 'Oh yeah, I feel anxious too, can we go home, I'm going to have a panic attack' and started behaving like a proper brat! It was so obvious she didn't like the attention I got, she's always been that way. As soon as I try and talk to my mum she will always butt in and complain about how crap she feels, the most common one being 'I feel anxious' or 'I feel sick' etc... I then feel very pushed out and leave the room as soon as she walks in now, as I know there's no point in me being there because she'll just hog the limelight.
I know I'm a teenager, so I'm naturally going to complain about my younger sister, but everything she has caused my family, I just can't forget it. Like telling social services me and my mum hit her, and she moved out of the house for 4 months and stirred loads of rubbish up with the professionals, almost landing her in care! She then retracted her statements when she realized lying about things like that has consequences, it's not a game. Then she comes home and the family are willing to forgive her, and she STILL hasn't learnt and continues to drag us through hell.
I feel multiply annoyed at the minute, not sure what to do with myself or how to feel. Think my brain has Bipolar as well as the weather!
anxiety disorder i think am tierd this
So I'm not doing super well.
My mum has her own mental health problems. How do I deal with her when it affects my anxiety?
My mum won't talk to me.
Not doing as well as i thought i was after all!
