Full of anxiety

I'm hoping by writing this blog it might help to get some stuff off my chest. I've suffered anxiety all my life(I'm 44). I now also have very bad fibromyalgia which has stopped me from working. My anxiety comes and goes depending on the stress I'm under.

I've started having a few problems with my next door neighbours,nothing major but we used to get on well but it's going downhill and I feel very upset about it as I've had terrible neighbour trouble before in different places and the thought of going through it again terrifies me. I'm on my own with my two teenagers. I feel they don't like me as I don't work and I've heard them put me down when they thought I couldn't hear them. They are a married couple with two young children. The wife is very sour looking and loves to moan,her husband is much nicer but not long ago he went mad a the lady who does my garden for walking on his front garden which is the only way to get to mine. I've been doing this for years but suddenly they have got funny about it. Now I have to walk all the way round the block to get to my garden. It doesn't sound a lot but it is for me when I struggle with walking. I can't face any confrontation soi haven't asked them about it. Then I heard her moaning about me have a gardener!! I'm ill and they know that. After I heard that I stopped talking to the woman. Then last weekend I found I have graffiti on my front wall,we have someone in our town going round doing this everywhere and they haven't caught the person yet,he does the same thing every time. I was so upset to find it as I feel it's another thing these people will moan about. The council won't help me I've got to get this stuff off myself. My anxiety has gone crazy and I can't seem to get control over it.

On top of all this I get Disability living allowance which allows me to have a car otherwise I wouldn't get out,however I've been struggling with driving so I've ordered an automatic car which is coming on Wednesday. I wish I hadn't ordered it now as I know it will be another thing for my neighbours to moan about and it wouldn't surprise me if they tried to get it taken away from me.

I've also had to stop seeing my counsellor as she was picking on me as well! She told me I was a victim and was full of self pity. Now I actually think she is right. I've got to stand up for myself but my mum also had trouble with neighbours and she made herself ill through all the fighting. My dad on the the other hand kept his silence which seems to be a better approach as it prevents arguments.

Any support would be great as I feel totally on my own with this. Thank you.

3 Replies

  • Sorry to hear this

    I get fibro as well so I no how painful this can be as well as dealing with anxiety

    I am sure my neighbours , may gossip about my set up , as they don't no whats wrong with me

    On this one though I actually don't let it bother me

    I take the approach , I no why I don't , so what the heck is if to do with anyone else & it isn't

    that I am a strong person , & I do worry about lots of things , but I wont let neighbours put me down & let their opinion bother me

    Think as well , if they are this way inclined to gossip & they no you are ill , they would gossip no matter what , some people are just like that , I see it as they have nothing else better to do

    I would say hello when I saw them & leave them with it , you have enough to deal with

    They are neighbours & their opinion , is nothing , your nearest & dearest are the only people that matter

    I would ask to see another counsellor & to be honest , I feel the one you were seeing was out of order

    I would feel inclined to complain as well , even though you may feel up to it

    Again because they are counsellors , we seem to think everything they say is right , but is isn't always & I don't think she was

    Let her have your pain every day & see how she feels , like I said I no how it feels & it does get you down

    None of this may be any use , I just really wanted to say I understand

    Please try though , with people that are not important to not let them have control over how you feel , they really are not worth it

    My Mum used to say "while they are talking about you , they are leaving some body else alone " because people like this , that's all they tend to do

    Look after you , that's what matters

    AND look forward to your car , you have to live with pain to have it , that can be a big price to have to pay & remember that , hold your head up & enjoy what you are entitled to




  • I hope that writing your blog has helped clear your mind.I find it very helpful sometimes just to get thing off your chest.

    As for neighbours BAH! Since mine moved in five years ago I've had nothing but distress.I've tried being nice I've tried telling what I really think of them so now I just ignore them.

    You have qualified for disability living allowance so enjoy your car you are entitled to it.The only thing that puzzles me is why it ends at 65yrs. My dad has just become disabled at the age of 68 but is struggling to get any assistance with getting about.

    Anyway good luck to you.

  • Thankyou both fr answering. I think it's not so much the problem of the neighbours it's the fact my anxiety is so bad,once an idea that something bad is going to happen I can't get it out of my head Until the threat has passed. It has now escalated to them contacting the DLA and me being taken to court! I know I'm being irrational (although my brother in law has faced this himself from neighbours) but my brain won't let go of it. I let it go completely out of perspective and its like torture. Guess it's just something I have to live with. Once this threat has passed I will move on to the next one. Does anyone else get this? I've tried cbt but I couldn't get to grips with it and it made me more anxious. I can't blame the fibromyalgia as I've always been like this. It's exhausting.

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