Hi guys,
It's been a while since I posted here, I used to be a regular so some of the main people may remember me, particularly the amazing Agora!
A brief update to add context to my upcoming question: I used to suffer a lot with anxiety but have mostly overcome it more recently. However, I do still have 'pangs' now and then, especially when dealing with outside forces, and have been struggling recently with work.
I have also found out I am most likely autistic. I have had initial assessments and am awaiting the big proper assessment which will probably take years. I have been open and honest with my employer, giving them all the details.
I recently went through the disciplinary procedure at work for something utterly pathetic, doing something innocently that everyone does, which was clearly a personal attack. Naturally I appealed, and my appeal letter was about three pages long. Something about me which is apparently a major trait relating to autism is that I like to explain myself well and in detail (like this post!?)
So anyway, during my appeal process with a retired director and major shareholder, apart from him throwing inaccurate statements at me about my alleged misdoings, I was laughed at, a lot, and called out a few times for using the "mental health card," which I had not done. I had simply explained in the letter why I felt the need to explain my feelings so deeply. As I left the all too long uncomfortable meeting, deflated, and feeling bullied, the director turned to the manager which had been taking 'minutes' and said "wow that was wordy wasn't it?"
This left a very bitter taste in my mouth. Naturally.
More recently, just last week, I was signed off by my doctor with stress and anxiety. For the first time in ages I had a pretty heavy anxiety attack while at work, due in my belief to unreasonable stress put on us by an over zealous younger director, which left me in a rather undignified situation.
I was signed off. Said director had been given the letter from my doctor signing me off until that Friday. However, he still seemed to want me to call in every morning at 7am.
Wednesday morning came. I had not slept at all that night, and had barely slept the night before. Even though my mind had finally decided to allow me to sleep, I forced myself to stay awake longer to make sure I could make that call. I was severely sleep deprived and told him so when he called me back almost straight after I had left him his usual voicemail.
So, he was aware that I had been signed off with stress and anxiety, and he was aware that as a result of that stress and anxiety that I was severely sleep deprived.
His conversation was brutal, in my opinion. He continually attacked me with questions of the sort you'd expect in a Space X board room, asking me of my plans moving forward, and future strategies to combat my problem. He mentioned that this was an ongoing problem (even though I'd not been off previously for about 18 months) and that I needed to get it fixed.
I struggled to reply, I could barely think. I said I just wanted to get better. Stomach issues, a direct response from anxiety, had been causing me pain and discomfort since the week before, which he was also aware of. I clearly also just needed to get a good night's sleep, which was being made difficult by the stomach and anxiety issues.
His attacks continued. He spoke about some sort of plan and insinuated that I should be in regular contact with my doctor's, formulating plans to conquer my problem. He stated that this was clearly a me problem and nothing to do with work. Personally I believe this point was pushed forward so they could put me on SSP rather than company sick pay, however this is not something I will know until the next pay day.
Now I don't know what sort of company health plan he has, but he clearly has no idea just how hard it is to get appointments these days. I mentioned how my doctors now use this ridiculous online form, which takes about 20 minutes to fill out. I mentioned that on my first attempt it came back telling me to go to A&E. I'm sure most would agree, that my local A&E with it's 8 hour wait times is not somewhere you would want to sit while sleep deprived, full of anxiety, with an aching stomach and needing a toilet frequently. So I filled out the form again and this time was scheduled a doctor's telephone appointment. This being the doctor that signed me off.
This was where he started accusing me of not taking medical advice, because I didn't go to A&E and accusing me of not helping myself.
Eventually he ended the conversation stating that he had nothing to add, clearly, as I was not listening.
Im off now for Christmas, but the though of going back next year makes me feel awful. All the typical anxiety feelings of impending doom and dread. It's not leading to much of a happy Christmas.
So, to my question's'
What can I do with this? Is this harassment? Is the treatment I've received from both directors disgusting? Are they legally breaking any laws? Or are they perfectly within their rights to make me feel so worthless?
Thanks in advance guys.
Merry Christmas,
And apologies for such a 'wordy' post! (Somehow I still manage to retain my very dry sense of humour!)
xx
I need Help from HR or Hiring professionals
Need to rant out. Sorry.
MY FIRST THERAPY SESSION ;)
Health Anxiety- Help! 
Ativan/Zoloft with depression/anxiety
