Ptsd, sleep, and meds

[BeagleHeart]

Hoping that someone may have a similar story and share some experience with me how they were able to improve.

Struggling with from what I believe has to be childhood ptsd. I finally see a psychologist this coming Monday, but I'm suffering from a huge lack of sleep for a long time now.

Almost two years ago when I approached my p.c.p. about this they assumed it was GAD and prescribed me hydroxizine which had zero effect, summer arrived and I was able to keep physically active to the point I was totally exhausted by bedtime and able to get sleep. Autumn came, along with the cold which keeps me indoors more then not and reducing my physical activity.

I returned to my p.c.p. and they prescribed lorazapam (aka ativan) but I've always been reluctant towards taking benzos so I take it only when my anxiety is totally out of control.

Having then talked with someone who manages medications I was prescribed buspirone and to do a 30 day trial. 21 days in and It's had very little effect on nether my anxiety or sleep, I had to skip 6 doses in favor of taking the lorazapam becuase it's the only thing that has helped. I still wake up as though someone had just dropped a box of tools at the foot of my bed.

Last night was my first time taking two lorazapam (0.5mg) twice, having taken the second dosage right before bed helped me get 7hrs of sleep in comparison to the 4 to 6 hours I was getting but the sudden jolt that wakes me is still there but less dramatic (thus I am here writing this)

Final thought:

Is anyone on lorazapam for severe anxiety? Has anyone taken it long-term? And, does it help with your sleep, or do you take/do something in conjunction with it?

Unlike anything else I've done or taken the lorazapam is the only thing giving me relief, so much so I would like to consider taking it long-term so I can return to being more productive and able to actually relax. Before my parents passed away this was easily treatable with recreational marijuana of which now I barely if at all smoke anymore especially when in the throes of it all.

P.s. I cut out caffeine by midday and if I can ever get ahold of this anxiety I'd like to finally quit using tobacco. When I get up I have an urge to smoke which no doubt contributes negatively to said anxiety.

[Dolphin14]

BeagleHeart

I'm glad you got some sleep finally.

It seems every Dr has different opinions on benzos.

Seeing the psychologist and addressing the PTSD is going to help you a lot

I didn't sleep for years and tried multiple medications that didn't work.

I haven't gotten 7 hours sleep in a row in over ten years. I understand it's not enough for you. I'm just saying it would be a dream come true for me

Best of luck with your therapy and medications

🐬

[BeagleHeart in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for taking a moment for me. I understand how much lack of sleep effects everything. Whether it's a fat chance or not, I hope yours' improves. That must be incredibly hard to deal with going on for such a long time.

[Dolphin14 in reply to BeagleHeart]

Thank you so much.

It's amazing how the body can adapt.

I hope you have a good day today

Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate

🦃

[LoveforAll41]

Howdy BeagleHeart, I am so sorry that you are going through so much and haven't found a med that you really like...

Are you going to therapy as well? I think drugs have their place to help us get into a state where we can identify root thoughts and distorted thoughts that cause us so much suffering. I am going back on drugs here next week after going without for 9 months. I wish you peace in your journey. ☮️

[BeagleHeart in reply to LoveforAll41]

I was with a therapist for about six months, but i lost work and insurance provider forcing me to go without for the last five months. I was able to pick up more work and a new insurance plan (I work remote and are self employed) so after waiting close to a month now I finally get to go see a psychologist this coming Monday. Between medication, intense workout sessions, studying self-help books (when I can focus) and trying to offer support where I can, it's the only thing that's been keeping me afloat. Not going down without a fight! I came here to both look for and to give advice. One of my oldest tricks is that when I am feeling helpless i like to try and offer help to others. Something I learned in the late 90's, early 00's during the AOL Era when all this childhood trauma i am dealing with now was taking place. Seems to help, and it's always nice to find anonymous people who are willing to be open, honest, and caring. (something that was severely lacking way back when) thank you for the well wishes, I hope you're able to find some resolution as well.

[mizzou7016 in reply to BeagleHeart]

I try to do this too....but in the long run I found that neglecting myself wasn't allowing me to reach my full potential while trying to help someone else.....just remember in your trek to help others.....that it's ok to take a break from that and work on yourself....everyone will benefit long term

[BeagleHeart in reply to mizzou7016]

I totally agree. Finding a forum like this is a good way, I feel, for me to practice old coping skills. I avoid going above and beyond for strangers "irl" becuase of the number of times I've been taken advantage of.

[mizzou7016 in reply to BeagleHeart]

the thing is....when that happens....it is a reflection of the other person....not us...I have tried several times to change this aspect of my personality because of "being hurt"....doesn't work that way....just keep being yourself....the right people will appreciate it and you....and be there to support you

[Hidden]

hi BeagleHeart, I have been taking 2mg. lorazepam 3 times a day for nearly 14 years. It was the only medication that helped my anxiety. I also had a traumatic childhood and memories come back. At first , I took one first thing in the morning sometimes before I got out of bed. Now I can get away with a half at noon, my best time of day. I never take more than recommended daily dose. Despite my blood pressure meds, the anxiety was so bad it spiked my bp to dangerous levels, once I was on lorazepam my bp meds work. I use medical cannabis edibles to sleep. Dr. increased dose until it worked. I had to have psychological evaluation and was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and major depression disorder all going back to childhood. I hope it works for you, best of luck.

[BeagleHeart in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing. I've never before had to rely on medication like this just to get by. Everything kinda blew up in my face these past few years. I really appreciate your feedback.

[mizzou7016]

I am not on lorazipam...I am on Prozac for my anxiety/PTSD and Trazadone for my sleep....they both help....but I have to be careful when I take my Trazadone though because although it helps me sleep almost 100% of the time....if I don't take it soon enough I tend to suffer from the hangover effect.....which in my profession isn't good at all....don't give up hope and keep trying until you find something that helps you

[HopeforMiami]

I have trouble sleeping too. I also have bad dreams related to my trauma. My diagnosis is major depressive disorder and anxiety. Apparently, they happen together. I take an antidepressant and temazepam tablets, at night and they work most of the time.

I also have the orally dissolving tablets for the day if/when I get bad anxiety at work or during the day and really need it.

The "pams" are all very similar and you can develop resistance to them and become addicted. That's why MDs are iffy about them.

But, if you need it you should never feel bad about taking it, because the anxiety will do more damage than the meds. Stress will destroy your body systems, especially your neurochemistry. That's how I ended up like this in the first place.

I've been on them for over a decade and I've never abused it or felt addicted.

I hope you can get some sleep and that your therapy helps you with your trauma. Nobody deserves to suffer. And everyone deserves help when they need it.

Good luck and healthy wishes 🙏

[BeagleHeart in reply to HopeforMiami]

Thank you very much for sharing that, i didn't think to consider "stress vs. meds" in that sense.

[HopeforMiami]

And please be careful helping people. My nature is to be that way too. But I have paid dearly for it, and I am permanently damaged because of it. I still feel like I want to help others, but I check myself constantly to make sure I'm not giving up more than is healthy.Those of us who have a lot of empathy, need to learn strong boundaries. Please help yourself first and always, and you can help others by just being kind and caring. ♥️

[BeagleHeart]

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way once already long, long ago but chose to forget becuase "family", thank you for the reminder.