Enough

[Desperate4Happiness]

Facing the realization that I will NEVER feel whole enough, strong enough, worthy enough, good enough, smart enough, happy enough to enjoy this life ever again.

[LoveforAll41]

argh, I am so sorry Desperate. That hopeless state, I think, is the worst emotional state we can be in as humans. I slide back into thinking that I am worthless all the time it feels. Even when I do feel okay I feel that worthlessness will be back so what is the point...

I really like acceptance therapy, and the end goal of acceptance, the death of the self. Really there is no self that needs to be "good enough", "strong enough", "smart enough" etc. because there is no self. Anyway, that is a very abstract concept to be thinking about when we're hopeless. I am not great at explaining, but I love Dr David Burns work in his book "Feeling Great". He has some bits on acceptance and the death of the self in there. I also love the podcast "The Feeling Good Podcast" and you could search for any of those episodes that mention acceptance.

I don't know if you have done much work with acceptance, but this is from Psychology Today's website:

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is an action-oriented approach to psychotherapy that stems from traditional behavior therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. Clients learn to stop avoiding, denying, and struggling with their inner emotions and, instead, accept that these deeper feelings are appropriate responses to certain situations that should not prevent them from moving forward in their lives. With this understanding, clients begin to accept their hardships and commit to making necessary changes in their behavior, regardless of what is going on in their lives and how they feel about it.

For me, it makes total sense that I feel inadequate and worthless based on how I was raised and have internalized things. Sometimes I can accept and feel a bit better, sometimes I don't. My real takeaway has been that it is okay to feel like s***, and frankly, is understandable the way I think. The way I think I never will be good enough, etc. so I gotta work on the way I think.

I am so sorry you are feeling hopeless. Often I try to remind myself that just living another day is a victory in these times. ☮️

[Desperate4Happiness in reply to LoveforAll41]

Thank you. Every bit of advice helps. I plan to dig into all the resources that people have shared.

[LoveforAll41 in reply to Desperate4Happiness]

Yes, as crappy as I feel I am down to try everything at least once... As I said, I love his work, but I think that in-person therapy alongside it is often a must for me, because I don't know that I can generate enough self-empathy without someone outside of myself.

I am currently between therapists and need to start my search for a new one...

I hope you get feeling the teensiest bit better at least soon