I'm going mental. I'm really scared if i get old at mom's house with her while sis is out for college

[Against_the_current]

It's a misery already. My sister's at dad's. I'm going insane. I suffered so much at my accommodation and im not well enough to be on my own and working. Neither i can find a boyfriend/girlfriend to take care of me. My highschool yesrs, my college years and now my young adult years are wasted with me staying home, being abused by mom. I don't want to get old and watch her destroy herself and die. Neither go old myself and more and more childish and insane. I've seen old ladies looking like me, at the psychiatrist, talking about their moms while they look and talk completely insane. If i start therapy with a new counsellor i want the ones i choose but they don't have free hours these days and on monday im going back to university city for a couple days

[MSanon]

I am sorry for all you are dealing with. I have some ideas for you that may spark ideas for solutions for you. You are very young . You have your whole life ahead of you.

Just some thoughts... If you go to al anon meetings, there could be multiple benefits for you. Help with dealing with your Mom first and foremost. You may meet a friend, you may meet someone you could rent a room from, you could learn of possible jobs. Your English is so good, I wondered if you could tutor students to learn English. How about free flow thinking writing out pros and cons of different solutions to your situation ? Pending getting a job that your degree can be used for, what are your interests ? Write out what your immediate needs are. Is it best you live with someone right now rather than live on your own? Cost wise, that is preferable...

Are you familiar with Eckhart Tolle? You may find him helpful. He has books and videos . Here is his site eckharttolle.com/

This next video has helped me get my mind back to the present time. Maybe it will help you. youtube.com/watch?v=t2Q_YCk...(Not working as expected?)

The Tapping Solution on your phone is free and helps with lots of topics.

If you see yourself on a spiritual journey and that topic interests you, check this out lonerwolf.com/

Some of the deepest people I know had rough starts in life and they rose above it and healed themselves.Overcoming a victim mentality is hard, but it can be done.

I hope you are helped by something that I wrote.

Best wishes to you. Sending positive energy to you and hugs. You can do this !!!

P.S. You may get more feedback if you post to this community only rather than being open to anyone reading it.