Mom doesn't even remember what she did yesterday.

[Against_the_current]

It could be because she thought it was insignificant but im scared if she was that drunk. I can't even point it out to her. She made this all just because i pointed the smell and denied everything. Or she remembers and manipulates me. I'm living a normal nightmare. I can't get out of home in this condition, you all saw. I don't want to be her wife. Someone messaged me something hinting it. All these options are bad. Or maybe she realised she overreacted and acted dumb? That's the only good possibility.

[CLB1125]

do you confront her about things when she’s drinking? It is a waste of your time and energy to. When she’s under the influence of alcohol she is not thinking rationally and her answers will reflect as much. Many people have suggested AlAnon to you, have you looked into it? They can help you to understand the ins and outs of dealing with an alcoholic. And how to respond or not to respond at all. If all the options are bad, I guess you need to decide which one is the least bad and deal with it.

[SoporRose in reply to CLB1125]

Fauxartist and CLB1125 offer cogent observations. I think getting involved in Al-Anon is really worth trying. But don't expect a quick solution. There's not going to be a magic wand that will turn around your situation for you. You'll have to be willing to put in time and effort, but if it can help you be the person you tell us you want to be, it will be worth it.

I looked up the contact information for you:

Al-Anon Information Service of Bulgaria

Work

PO Box 109

Sofia 1504

Bulgaria

Work Phone: [phone]

Work Email: [e-mail]

Website: Bulgaria Website

al-anon-bg.org

We've all seen how you persevered to get your Masters (congratulations again! I'm still so proud of you). Once you get your accommodation cleared out. (or is your dad doing that for you?), I hope you'll make this your next project. You'll have to do some changing and forgiving, I expect — I haven't dealt with Al-Anon, but perhaps others here will have and can tell you more — but give this a try. With luck, you'll find some support to help you deal with your mom and her illness.

I do think you can do this!